Dark Jokes
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Why did the sauce need a night light?
Because he was alfredo the dark!
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Why do aliens only abduct white people?
Because they are easier to see in the dark.
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Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
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Why is the Force like duct tape?
It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.
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How many isolationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they prefer to live in the dark.
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How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They like it on the dark side.
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What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force?
ISITH
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What do you call a kid that is afraid of the dark?
Racist
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.
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How do you find King Arthur in the dark?
With a knight light....
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How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs it's cheaper to sit in the dark
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What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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How many factory farmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they would rather keep you in the dark!
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Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?
Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!
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How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.
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How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human?
None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark
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What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?
A LED Zeppelin
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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't bother, you can find lutfisk in the dark.
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Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?
Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.
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How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and cry.
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Why the headlight?
Are people vacuuming in the dark or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen
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How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
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What do you call a racist in the dark?
Camouflaged
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How is Ducktape like the Force?
It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired
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Why did the wrestlers have to fight in the dark?
A: Their match wouldn't light.
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How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark.
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How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to cry in the dark.
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Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer?
Dark) At a concentration camp.
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What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty?
The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.
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How do you find an old man in the dark?
It isn't hard.
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Why do women love chocolate?
Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.
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How many Hindus does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they will keep worshipping in dark.
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How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.
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What did the policeman do to his fear of the dark?
He shot it.
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Why do people smile in Africa?
So they won't run into each other in the dark.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?
You don't need to, they glow in the dark.
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What do you call poultry that glows in the dark?
Chicken Kiev
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How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and blame the Jews.
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What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?
Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'
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How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?
A shot in the dark.
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How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
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Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side...
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How many conspiratards does it take to screw in a light bulb....?
NONE! ITS A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT TO KEEP US IN THE DARK!"
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How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
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How do you change the light bulb in the dark?
You don't. The police shoot you.
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How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. cmon , they'd much rather be kept in the dark.
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What do you call the fourth musketeer if he's gone to the dark side?
Darth-tagnan
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How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.
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Where is everyone beautiful?
In the dark.
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Why do blondes have more fun?
They're easier to find in the dark.
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What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?
A glowberman pinscher!
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How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.
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What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?
A knight light
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When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?
In the Sith grade.
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How do you find and old man in the dark?
Just feel around. It's not hard.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.
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How do u find an old man in the dark?
Its not that hard
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Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker?
Because he overcame the dark side
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What do you call a ghost at midnight?
A sheet in the dark!
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How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They glow in the dark.
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Why did the Jedi cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?
You can't tell it's in the dark
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How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews
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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
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How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't need to, they glow in the dark...
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Why did ISIS burn 10000 copies of "Dark Side Of The Moon"?
Because it's a terrible album.