Dentist Jokes

  • How do dentists like their eggs?


  • What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist?

    Newer magazines

  • Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

    The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

  • What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world?

    Molar opposites.

  • What's a dentists favourite time?


  • What times does the chinaman go to the dentist?


  • Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard?

    They both enjoy a good cavity search!

  • What's the most common time to see the dentist?

    Two Thirty.

  • What game did the dentist play when she was a child?

    Caps and robbers

  • Why don't dentists display their awards?

    Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.

  • What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out?

    He ate the dentist.

  • What did airport security tell the Dentist?

    We need to give you a cavity search

  • What does the dentist of the year get?

    A little plaque.

  • Why did the tree go to the dentist?

    It needed a root canal.

  • What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier?

    A Drill Sergeant

  • What did the black eyed peas say when they left the dentist?

    I got a filling, woo-hoo!"

  • Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?

    They hate plaque buildup.

  • Why did the pharoah go to the dentist?

    Because egypt his tooth.

  • Why do SJWs hate dentists?

    Because they want to make teeth straight and white.

  • Why do only 99.9% of dentists recommend Listerine?

    Because the other .1% is too busy out hunting lions

  • What is the difference between a dentist and a New York baseball fan?

    One yanks for the roots, the other roots for the Yanks.

  • What form of humor do Dentists find most offensive?


  • What do you call someone who discriminates you for your oral hygiene?

    A dent*ist*.

  • What do you get when you visit the dentist with a dollar?


  • Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ?

    Your dentist.

  • What is a drill team?

    A group of dentists who work together.

  • Why do dentists recommend jpeg?

    It is a flossy compression method.

  • Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

    She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

  • Why do people dislike going to the dentist?

    Because he is boring.

  • What kind of award did the dentist receive?

    A little plaque.

  • What did one tooth say to the other?

    Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight.

  • What's a dentists favorite time of day?


  • Where does the dentist get his gas?

    At the filling station

  • Why did twoface go to the dentist?

    He dented his tooth

  • Why don't progressives go to the dentist?

    Because dentists like everything straight and white.

  • What do you call a brain surgeon that had a C- average?

    A dentist

  • Why would you name your human child Hunter?

    Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

  • What time do dentists fly airplanes?

    Tooth Hurty (2:30)

  • What did the dentist say to the computer?

    This won't hurt a byte

  • Why thank u.. are u single?

    She:No, I'm a dentist

  • Why did F'' (F double prime) have to go to the dentist?

    It had concavities...

  • What did the artist say to the dentist?

    Matisse hurt!

  • How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

  • What do you call a dentist in the army ?

    A drill sergeant !

  • Whats the best time to go to the dentist?

    4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse

  • Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?

    Because they fought both tooth and nail!

  • What time do you go to the dentist?


  • What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

    Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

  • What did the tooth say to the dentist?

    Fill 'er up!"

  • Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

    Because it goes right out of your head.

  • What did the dentist say to the golfer?

    You have a hole in one. "

  • What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about?


  • What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?

    A flossopher!

  • Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

    to help with the cavity searches

  • Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

    We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

  • Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

    Because it was accidental.

  • What did the judge say to the dentist?

    Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

  • Why don't Gingers go to the dentist?

    They are already aware of their corrosive gingivitis.

  • Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship?

    All they will do is fight tooth and nail!

  • Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

    He was already taking out a tooth

  • What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common?

    They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.

  • Why did the donut go to the dentist?

    To get a filling!

  • What's the perfect time to go to the dentist?

    Two thirty.

  • What's the difference between me and a dentist?

    The dentist pulls it out when it hurts.

  • Why does a dentist seem moody?

    Because he always looks down in the mouth.

  • When is the best time to see a dentist?


  • What did the dentist see at the North Pole?

    A molar bear

  • What's another name for a Dentists?

    A filling station!

  • What does a dentist do in his free time?

    Shoot lions.

  • Why did Al Gore go to the dentist for a tooth pulling?

    He had an Inconvenient Tooth.

  • What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea?

    Getting the news from your dentist

  • Why are you laughing?

    My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!

  • Why do dentists like potatoes?

    Because they are so filling.

  • When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

    Tooth hurty

  • What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?

    He braces himself

  • How cool is that?

    We don't know who he is, but we know his dentist!"

  • Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

    To improve his bite !

  • Why did the pie go to the dentist?

    It needed a filling.

  • What time are you supposed to go to the dentist?


  • Why thank you... are you single?

    Girl: No, I am a dentist.

  • Why did Horse Santa put his dentist on the naughty list?

    You don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

  • What's the best time to go to the dentist?

    Tooth hurty.

  • What is the best time to go to the dentist?

    At tooth hurty.

  • Why did Eddie Albert have to go to the dentist?

    Because he had Green Acres!

  • Why should everyone go to the dentist at least once every ten years?

    Because of tooth decade!

  • What's an Asian's favorite time to go to the dentist?


  • What time does an Asian go to the dentist?

    Toof Hurty.

  • What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

    A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

  • Why are dentists really good hackers?

    Because they always get root access.