Dinner Jokes

  • What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

    He went back 4 seconds.

  • Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?


  • How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Just one, but they have to do it during dinner.

  • What did the plate say to the fork?

    Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

  • Why did the Italian miss his dinner?

    It'a was'a pasta his bed time

  • What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

    I am not a cook

  • What did the Spanish cannibals have for dinner?

    JOHN CENA!! I'm sorry.

  • What do you call a dead person?


  • What strange joke What does a white woman make for dinner?


  • What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

    Lettuce, pray.

  • What do you call an empty town after dinner?


  • What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

    Watson the menu

  • Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

    Because they're shellfish!!!

  • What do we have for dinner? Wookie steak. Is it any good?

    Well its a little Chewy

  • Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner?

    Because he was Baroque.

  • What did you have for breakfast?

    Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

  • What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

    My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

  • What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

    Nothing. She's dead.

  • What's the difference between a take-out dinner and a make-out session?

    How can you take something out you've never put in

  • How do you say dinner in spanish?


  • What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

    I'm stuffed."

  • Who's there ! Bernadette ! Bernadette who ?

    Bernadette ate all my dinner and now I'm starving !

  • What is 168?

    Dinner for 4.

  • What do you give an octomom for mother's day?

    A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies.

  • Why does Superman get invited to dinners?

    Because he is a Supperhero.

  • What did one plate say to the other plate?

    Dinner is on me!

  • What do sea monsters have for dinner?

    Fish and ships.

  • What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

    The cold shoulder.

  • What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

    Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

  • What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

    All rice, all rice, all rice

  • What do rodents do after dinner?

    Gopher a walk.

  • What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

    Dinner for Juan

  • Who is Superman's brother?

    Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

  • What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

    Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now

  • What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

    A. The cold shoulder.

  • What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

    You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

  • How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

    She doesn't, she's dead

  • What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

    They gave him the cold shoulder.

  • Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

    Because he ate his ant for dinner!

  • What does a blonde make best for dinner?

    A: Reservations.

  • Why did the hipster burn their tongue?

    They ate their dinner before it was cool.

  • Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

    With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.

  • What did the sea monster have for dinner?

    Fish and ships.

  • How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

    She doesn't because she's dead.

  • Where're you going?

    Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

  • What came first: the chicken or the egg?

    The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

  • What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

    Freud rice.

  • How does Alfred call batman for dinner?

    Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman!

  • What's for dinner, mom?

    Cannibal kids: "What's for dinner Mom "

  • What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

    Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

  • What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean?

    What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean? Bob What does a Syrian refugee call their pet? Dinner What's grosser than gross? Two Syrian refugees fighting over a tampon.

  • Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner?

    They lost their reservations.

  • What's for dinner Dad?

    What's for dinner Dad? Is it any good?

  • Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

    Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

  • What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

    Carbon dating.

  • What do you call someone who talks on their phone during dinner?


  • What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner?


  • What does an Irishman have for dinner?

    A: Starvation. Q: And what does he have for dessert A: Ethnic cleansing.

  • What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

    Thank you I'll just have a slither.

  • Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ?

    Bert the dinner !

  • What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

    Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

  • What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner?

    A pan, duh!

  • What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

    If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

  • What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

    I'm not letting you cook dinner again

  • What should I buy for dinner?

    I see frozen peas are cool this time of year. ..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

  • Why was the cannibal sad at dinner?

    Because he got the cold shoulder.

  • What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?


  • What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

    No thanks, I'm stuffed."

  • Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first?

    So you can make dinner and get head at the same time.

  • Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

    Kids: WE DO! YAY!

  • What do you call a fish with no eyes?


  • Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

    A: Behind the plate.

  • What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

    Lettuce prey"

  • Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

    It would just take a few bytes then run.

  • Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

    Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

  • Why are football players never asked for dinner?

    Because they're always dribbling!

  • How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

    They don't they're dead.

  • What is white and disturbes your dinner?

    An avalanche.

  • What do waiters want most after dinner?

    The tip!

  • What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner?

    Forgetti Bolognese.

  • What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner?

    Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala

  • What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

    I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

  • What do you want for dinner?

    4: A bucket.. *Googles better school districts