Dinosaur Jokes
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Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.
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Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?
To get in his nest.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist yet.
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Which Dinosaurs love electricity?
Bulbasaurs
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What did the dinosaur say after the car crash?
I'msosaurus
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What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A: Dino-mite.
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Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?
Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.
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What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?
A: Rep Tiles
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What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?
A flossiraptor
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How did one dinosaur insult the other?
Yo mama so stupid she gets excited seeing a shooting star.
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What do you call a dinosaur with too much power?
A tyrant-osaurus rex!       I'll see myself out...
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Which dinosaur walks with a limp?
a Myfeetasaur
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What do you call a dinosaur having brunch?
Tea-Rex
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What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
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Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?
They can't hide behind billboards.
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Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?
Because they can lie about their age!
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What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
A: Stegosaur-rust!
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Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're all dead.
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What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?
A: What a lavaly day!
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What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?
Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.
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What do you call... What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A doyouthinkhesawus (saurus)!
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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman?
RAWR!
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What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
Doyouthinkhesaurus
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What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry?
A Prontosaur.
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What's red on the outside and green on the inside?
A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.
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What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?
A velocirapture
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Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with?
An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus
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What do you call a dinosaur you just insulted?
T-REKT.
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Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they're dead.
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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
Because they were veloco*raptured*.
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How do you know that a dinosaur ate Kel for breakfast?
Because there was a kellogg in the toilet
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Who has scene a dinosaur?
No one! They're extinct!
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What do you call a dinosaur that practices Islam?
A Quranosaurus.
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Why is it that there aren't much natural oil resources in China?
They ate all the dinosaurs
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Which dinosaur named all the others?
The Thesaurus
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What followed the dinosaur ?
It's tail !
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What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?
A StayGosaurus
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What do you call a dinosaur with herpes?
a Cankersaurus!
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What do you call a dinosaur with an English degree?
Thesaurus.
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How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth!
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What's the best moment of your life?
me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding
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What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us.
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What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?
A pterrorist
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Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive?
A: Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?
Falafel Raptors. (sorry)
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What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?
A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.
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What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?
A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...
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What do you call a dinosaur that raps about life?
A philosorapper
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How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?
His tricycle will be parked outside.
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What do you call a dinosaur with a super high automobile insurance premium?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
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What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?
A legosaurus! Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Shut up.
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Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?
Episcopaleontologists
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How do dinosaurs smell?
Ex-stinky
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What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
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What do you call a dinosaur who just got out of a relationship?
Tyrannosaurus Ex
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What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?
A Bronte-saurus.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus!
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What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?
A: Bronco-saurus!
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Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with?
An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus
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Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?
To carry his library card.
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What do you call it when a dinosaur can't get it up?
ereptile dysfunction
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What dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
The bronthesaurus.
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What do you call a dinosaur that sleeps around a lot?
A carniv-whore.
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Which dinosaur knew... Q: Which dinosaur knew the most words?
A: The thesaurus.
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How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
A: Tea Rex
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What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite?
The where petrified.
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What dinosaur loves pancakes?
A: A tri-syrup-tops.
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What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?
A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.
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What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?
We don't need an asteroid...
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Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?
A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)
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What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?
Tomato-saurus
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What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night ?
Bronto-snore-us !
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What dinosaur was in the most pain?
the tyranno-sorest rex
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What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
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What do you call an Irishman who studies dinosaurs?
a paleontologist.
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Why did the dinosaur go to jail?
Because he was a child molester.
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Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?
They outgrew their leotards.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.
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Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from?
Vlasic Park
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Which star do the dinosaurs like best?
The one that keeps getting bigger
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What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman?
A Lickalottapus
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What dinosaur knows the most words?
Thesaurus. :/
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Which dinosaur was the hardest to find?
the Steganosaurus! And do you know why ...because it was encryptid!
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What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together?
Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*
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How do dinosaurs like their chicken?
RAWWWWWWWW!!!!
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Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?
That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.
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What do you call a dinosaur from the Middle East?
An Iran-asaurus!
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Why couldn't the dinosaur cross the road?
There were no roads!
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Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
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What's another name for a dinosaur?
A thesaurus.
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How do you make a dinosaur?
Kick it up the arse