Drown Jokes
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What did the cannibal do to the people he didn't like?
He drowned them in the morning.
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How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream
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Why don't the Amish waterski?
The horses would drown. Ba-dum TISH
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Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?
Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."
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How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?
When it's past your eyes.
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Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?
Because he was in de-nile.
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Why did the hipster drown?
Because he went ice-skating before it was cool ( )
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How does John Marston take a shower?
1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning
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Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
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Why are millionaires bad at swimming?
Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it
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Why do caterpillars think they are better than us?
OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*
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Why couldn't the hippie be saved from drowning?
He was too far out man.
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What did the drowning number theorist say?
logloglogloglogloglogloglogloglog
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Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?
He was in de-Nile.
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How do you drown a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
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What do you call a woman drowning in money?
Rich... Also an ambulance.
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How do you stop a hippie from drowning?
Take your combat boot off his head.
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Why are Dutch people so tall?
The short ones drowned in the floods
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What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water?
Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.
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Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning?
Because he was in deNile
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Where do hipsters drown?
the mainstream.
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Why do Norwegians drive Chevys?
They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord.
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How did the hipster die?
He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.
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Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary?
Because, it isn't mainstream.
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Who drowns?
The boat.
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Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland?
All the horses drowned
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How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?
A: Knock on the door.
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Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown?
Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.
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How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
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How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool.
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What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
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How do you keep a black person from drowning?
You don't
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How do you stop a ginger from drowning?
You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.
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Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary?
He didn't want to be mainstream.
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What can relax you and drown you at the same time?
A one-hour facial.
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What did the drowning number theorist yell?
LOG LOG LOG LOG
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What do you call four Mexicans drowning?
Cuatro sinko
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot before he hits the water.
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What does it look like when someone is drowning?
lol
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What did u do last night?
Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying
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Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown?
Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.
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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?
Drowns.
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How did the hipster drown?
By swimming in the main stream.
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Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned?
He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.
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What happened to the fish?
Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.
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What are you fishing for sonny?
Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms.
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What do you use when you are drowning in women?
A flirtation device.
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What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned?
A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker.
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What do you call 100 drowning vegans?
A good start
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How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
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Where are you most likely to drown?
Deepends*
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What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea?
He went home and drowned in his tea pee.
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Why did the hipster drown in the lake?
Because he went ice skating before it was cool.
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Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?
Too many horses were drowning.
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What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?
Cinco.
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Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team?
The players all drowned in spring training.
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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A drowning epileptic.
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What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?
Infantacide
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How do you know if you are drowning in milk?
If it's pasturize
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Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?
Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss