E Jokes

  • Why do church bells never send e-mails?

    They'd rather give each other a ring.

  • What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?


  • Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?

    Coz 'e-mmental!

  • How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

    A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

  • How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?

    I pronounce it Frankfort.

  • What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?

    An e-mergency.

  • How do you spell elephant ?

    E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"

  • What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?


  • How do Itallian chefs swap emails?

    By spaghett-e-mail!

  • What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?

    They think Cast is spelled with an e.

  • What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

    RIP my E-brake

  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

    I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

  • What do you call an online relationship?

    E-bae... I'll see myself out

  • What do internet football fans sing?

    E we go E we go E we go!

  • How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

    U and I.

  • Who looks after the EuroDisney website?

    Mick e-mouse.

  • Where does Iron man get his e-mail?


  • What did C say to E?

    She wants the D.

  • What's a hippie's favorite animal?

    An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

  • How do snowmen read their e-mails?

    With an icy-stare!

  • How do long distance runners send e-mail?

    On the sprin-ternet.

  • Why did the "upright man", a humanoid species, went extinct 70.000 years ago?

    Because they got homo e-rekt-us.

  • How does a farmer send messages?

    By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

  • How did the Irishman get arthritis?

    By craic-ing his knuckles.

  • What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

    To e or not to e that is the question.

  • What's the smallest instrument in the world?

    An e-lectron.

  • Why do you think your report should be on the net?

    Because my marks are all 'E's.

  • What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

    Beast wishes.

  • What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

    An envelope!

  • What's a nanny's favorite letter?

    I don't know, but it's not E.

  • What do you call an Internet mystery?

    An e-nigma.

  • What's a hippies favorite animal?

    An elk. He's got the E. the L. and the K.

  • What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

    an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

  • What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

    An envelope!

  • Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

    Because it was on old croc.

  • What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

    If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

  • Why is the letter E lazy?

    Because it's always in bed.

  • How do skunks like their e-mails?


  • How do you spell hypocrisy?


  • What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?


  • What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

    Your spine.

  • Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?

    Because he had a vowel movement.

  • What country has the most internet crimes?


  • How do writers send e-mail?

    On the Inkernet.

  • How do whales type e-mails?

    With their fish fingers.

  • What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin?

    No R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

  • How do you fix a broken website?

    With stick e-tape.

  • What has one "n", two "g"s, an "i", "e", and an "r" and you can only say this word when you belong to this group?


  • Which ones?

    Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble

  • What goes round the middle of the Internet?

    The e-quator.

  • How many letters are there in the alphabet?

    Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

  • Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

    He wanted to check his e-mail.

  • Why didn't the internit get any e-mail?

    Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

  • What do you call a black person who smokes?

    An e-cigger. I'm going to hell for thinking of this.

  • What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

    The Post Office

  • Why don't vikings send e-mails?

    They prefer to use Norse code.

  • Why is the letter E like London?

    Because it is the capital of England.

  • What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?


  • What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

    May the force e-with you.

  • When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

    When there are no attachments

  • How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?

    By Spaghett-e-mail!

  • How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to and th e to two with lp he

  • When do e-mails stop being in black and white?

    When they are read.

  • Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

    Because the lime was engaged.

  • What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?


  • When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

    We were thankful.

  • How do sheep sign their e-mails?

    Ewes sincerely.

  • What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

    What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

  • Why is E the only good letter?

    Because every other letter is not E!

  • Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

    Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

  • Which one is the 'in' door?

    Let me show you", says the manager, and 'e walks in.

  • What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

    Yours tin-sincerely.

  • What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?

    Best viscious.

  • Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?

    Because attachments are forbidden.

  • How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

    A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

  • Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

    She was always using fowl language.

  • How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette?

    Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you.

  • Why don't you stamp e-mails?

    Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!

  • Who's the chief of the internet?


  • What's the most Ghetto cheese?

    E-Dayyyyyyyyyymn (Edam)