E Jokes
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Why do church bells never send e-mails?
They'd rather give each other a ring.
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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?
GINGER.
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Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum?
Coz 'e-mmental!
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
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How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?
I pronounce it Frankfort.
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What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
An e-mergency.
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How do you spell elephant ?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"
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What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?
envelope
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How do Itallian chefs swap emails?
By spaghett-e-mail!
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What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?
They think Cast is spelled with an e.
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What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?
RIP my E-brake
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?
I don't know but it's e-nourmous.
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What do you call an online relationship?
E-bae... I'll see myself out
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What do internet football fans sing?
E we go E we go E we go!
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How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?
U and I.
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Who looks after the EuroDisney website?
Mick e-mouse.
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Where does Iron man get his e-mail?
Fe-mail
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What did C say to E?
She wants the D.
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What's a hippie's favorite animal?
An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.
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How do snowmen read their e-mails?
With an icy-stare!
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How do long distance runners send e-mail?
On the sprin-ternet.
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Why did the "upright man", a humanoid species, went extinct 70.000 years ago?
Because they got homo e-rekt-us.
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How does a farmer send messages?
By e-i-e-i-o-mail.
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How did the Irishman get arthritis?
By craic-ing his knuckles.
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What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?
To e or not to e that is the question.
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What's the smallest instrument in the world?
An e-lectron.
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Why do you think your report should be on the net?
Because my marks are all 'E's.
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What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?
Beast wishes.
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What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?
An envelope!
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What's a nanny's favorite letter?
I don't know, but it's not E.
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What do you call an Internet mystery?
An e-nigma.
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What's a hippies favorite animal?
An elk. He's got the E. the L. and the K.
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What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?
an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke
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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
An envelope!
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Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?
Because it was on old croc.
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What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?
If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again
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Why is the letter E lazy?
Because it's always in bed.
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How do skunks like their e-mails?
Scent.
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How do you spell hypocrisy?
R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N
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What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?
Spine
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What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?
Your spine.
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Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.
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What country has the most internet crimes?
E-gypt
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How do writers send e-mail?
On the Inkernet.
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How do whales type e-mails?
With their fish fingers.
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What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin?
No R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
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How do you fix a broken website?
With stick e-tape.
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What has one "n", two "g"s, an "i", "e", and an "r" and you can only say this word when you belong to this group?
ginger
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Which ones?
Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble
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What goes round the middle of the Internet?
The e-quator.
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How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
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Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?
He wanted to check his e-mail.
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Why didn't the internit get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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What do you call a black person who smokes?
An e-cigger. I'm going to hell for thinking of this.
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What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?
The Post Office
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Why don't vikings send e-mails?
They prefer to use Norse code.
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Why is the letter E like London?
Because it is the capital of England.
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What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?
Envelope!
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What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?
May the force e-with you.
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When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?
When there are no attachments
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How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?
By Spaghett-e-mail!
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How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to and th e to two with lp he
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When do e-mails stop being in black and white?
When they are read.
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Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?
Because the lime was engaged.
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What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?
Nothing.
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When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?
We were thankful.
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How do sheep sign their e-mails?
Ewes sincerely.
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What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?
What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.
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Why is E the only good letter?
Because every other letter is not E!
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Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?
Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
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Which one is the 'in' door?
Let me show you", says the manager, and 'e walks in.
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What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?
Yours tin-sincerely.
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What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?
Best viscious.
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Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?
Because attachments are forbidden.
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How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
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Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?
She was always using fowl language.
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How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette?
Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you.
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Why don't you stamp e-mails?
Because your foot would go right through the computer screen!
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Who's the chief of the internet?
E-ronimo!
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What's the most Ghetto cheese?
E-Dayyyyyyyyyymn (Edam)