Enjoy Jokes

  • Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology?

    Because it was a play on words.

  • What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

    Elizabeth.

  • Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food?

    Because it just makes me falafel.

  • What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

    Pupperoni

  • Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie?

    in a Dutch accent Not much Gouda

  • Whats the difference between Jesus and a whore?

    They both moan when you nail them, but only one of them actually enjoys it.

  • What do nine out of ten people enjoy?

    A gangbang.

  • Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

    Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

  • What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

    Democracy

  • What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

    The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

  • What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

    Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

  • Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

    Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

  • Why do redneck men enjoy Halloween so much?

    They love to pump kin.

  • How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

    It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

  • Why do the Dutch enjoy Belgian jokes so much?

    They're cheap.

  • Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic?

    Because he enjoys living in denial.

  • Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

    Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

  • How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

    Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

  • Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

    It raises their shellfish steam.

  • What do 0/10 little boys enjoy?

    Catholic priests

  • What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

    You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

  • What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

    A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

  • What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

    Being given head.

  • Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland?

    Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.

  • What's white & falls from the sky?

    The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.

  • Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

    Because Intel Inside.

  • What do you call a cow if he enjoys burgers?

    A cannibull

  • Why do farts smell so bad?

    So the deaf can enjoy them too.

  • Why are condoms transparent?

    A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

  • What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

    A spider

  • What do you call a person who enjoy mondays?

    Unemployed

  • What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

    They both enjoy handshakes.

  • Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

    Because they always try to mess with his nails.

  • What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain?

    A masochrist.

  • How many didn't?

    Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

  • Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard?

    They both enjoy a good cavity search!

  • Why do farts smell?

    So deaf people can enjoy them too.

  • Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?

    Because it's all play.

  • Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

    Because they were stale, matey!

  • What do a chick and KFC have in common?

    Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in.

  • Why do adrenaline junkies enjoy camping?

    Because it is in tents

  • How do Hawaiians subtly enjoy a bad joke?

    with a low "ha"

  • Why did God make farts smell?

    So that deaf people could enjoy them too.

  • Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

    A spider!

  • What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries?

    Putine...

  • What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

    Mabul cake.

  • Why do farts stink?

    So the deaf can enjoy them too.

  • What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

    I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

  • Why does Hannibal Lecter skin his colleagues?

    He enjoys the taste of Doctors Without Borders.

  • Why did Carrie Fisher enjoy doing her one-woman show?

    Because she nailed that Solo.

  • What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

    Enjoy the silence.

  • What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

    A Jolly Rancher.

  • Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

    They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

  • What do you do to relax?

    I enjoy people watching. - The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower. - I know.

  • Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?

    Because it's a Finnish hymn.

  • When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?

    During PRIME time!

  • When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

    Ten-ish.

  • Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

    Because it's pretty basic stuff.

  • Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

    Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

  • How did you get those horrible burns?

    flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

  • How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job?

    He isn't very App-y

  • What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

    A nice tight seal

  • What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

    French Flies!

  • What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

    rated movies.

  • What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?

    He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.

  • Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?

    Guilty

  • Why do optometrists enjoy nautical jokes?

    They have a good sense of aqueous humor.

  • Why did the knife quit?

    It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

  • Why was the ink happy?

    Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

  • Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?

    He could really get into the vaultz.