Erection Jokes
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How do the Chinese vote?
With their erections.
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Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?
Your erection....
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What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?
Well an erection of course.
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Why isn't China a democracy?
Because then they'd have to hold erections.
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What do you get when OP gets erections?
QR
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What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?
An erection
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What does an Asian man do during an erection?
Vote.
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What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?
Mourning wood! :)
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What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?
An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.
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Why is China a communist country?
Because nobody wants to hold an erection.
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What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?
No hard feelings.
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What do you call a turtle with an erection?
A slow poke!
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Whats the difference between a porsche and an erection?
I dont have a porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)
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What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement?
an erection that points north.
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What do Asians do during an erection?
They vote
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What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?
My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.
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What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?
He came and went at the same time.
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What have Kim Jong-Un and Viagra got in common?
They're both good at rigging erections.
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What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies?
My erection.
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What kind of erection does a burn victim get?
Firewood.
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What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?
My erection.
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How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.
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Why do asians got to the hospital after voting?
Everyone knows that you should see a doctor for an erection that last longer than 4 hours.
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How do Japanese politicians say they got their positions?
With erections.
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What do you call an erection during a funeral?
Mourning wood!
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Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?
Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)
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Why doesn't democracy work in china?
Because no one wants to hold an erection.
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What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?
My erection.
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What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection?
They break their nose!
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What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?
He votes!
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What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection?
A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry.
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What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?
An erection.
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What do an 80 year old smoker and the Japanese House of Representatives have in common?
They only have an erection every 4 years
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What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?
Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"
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What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?
Get off at the next stop!
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What do you call a preacher with an erection?
A firm believer
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What's the difference between my daughter and my wife?
I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife.
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What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro?
I don't have a Camaro....
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What do you call a waterfall which causes erections?
Viagra Falls
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What's addicting?
The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal.
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What is the definition of torque?
When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.
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What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?
An erection and a place to put it.
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Why do men get erections while they sleep?
So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.
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Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?
Because he has a woodpecker!
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What did the priest get at Toys R Us?
An erection.
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What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari?
whisper I don't have a Ferrari.
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What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?
I can maintain polite conversation.
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Why was the naturists wedding delayed?
The ring bearer had an erection.
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Why will there never be an Asian president?
Because the American people could never make it through the erection without raughing.
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Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?
because he's covering an erection!
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What do Japanese people do when they have erections?
Vote!
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What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?
Hiding the erection.
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What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?
My erection.
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Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection?
It's just too hard.