Fail Jokes

  • What did the chicken say ?

    What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.

  • Why did the farmer fail to bring in the whole harvest before winter frost?

    He got lost in the maize.

  • Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

    Causal fridays.

  • Why did the feminist fail in programming?

    She hated objectification.

  • What did the kidney say to the other kidney when it failed?

    Urine trouble now.

  • Why did the man's kidneys fail?

    They didn't study.

  • Why did the Soviet union fail?

    Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P

  • Why did the wave fail the driving test?

    It kept crashing on the beach.

  • Why did the dog fail his driving test?

    Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive.

  • Why is Chris Christie such a successful man?

    Because he is too big to fail.

  • Why did the math student fail his exam?

    He needed to sketch the sine and cuisine graphs but only knew how to do cos(-x)

  • Why did the black kid fail algebra?

    Because he didn't study.

  • What do you call someone who failed rehab?

    Back on crack

  • Why did the baseball player fail at the math test?

    He used base 3.

  • Why couldn't the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain?

    It failed the Smaug test.

  • What is little, red and crawling up a womans leg?

    A failed abortion with homesickness.

  • Why did the guitar shop fail a fire safety inspection?

    No Stairway.

  • How did you keep from failing that?

    I didn't take algebra!

  • What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

    My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

  • Why women fail at saving money?

    Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

  • What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

    No hard feelings.

  • When is a triangle a rectangle?

    When it fails

  • Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?

    He didn't know enough about inequalities

  • How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

    Poop in the specimen cup.

  • What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?

    Got high.

  • What do you call a failed resistance?


  • Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam?

    He couldn't get the saddest fraction.

  • Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail?

    I didn't have enough seed money.

  • Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

    FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!

  • Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

    Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

  • Why did the leper fail his driving test?

    He left his foot on the clutch.

  • Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test?

    He made a few Wookiee errors.

  • What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed?


  • What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?


  • Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

    Cause they want the D.

  • How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

    I'm gonna level with you.

  • Why did the hipster fail chemistry?

    He thought the bond was ironic.

  • What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

    He stank to the bottom of the pool!

  • What brings you here?

    14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

  • What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

    Urine charge now.

  • Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

    Because she was a woman

  • Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ?

    because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

  • Why did the Boxer Rebellion fail?

    They had no Qin

  • Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

    A Remote control

  • What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law?

    Failing to get away.

  • Why did the operation Barbarossa fail?

    The supreme commander didn't have the balls required.

  • Why do you keep saying flail?

    Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train.

  • Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

    Bad cam'ra

  • What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

    A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."

  • What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

    Curses, foiled again!"

  • Why did the atheist fail algebra?

    He didn't believe in higher powers!

  • Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

    Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

  • Why did the student fail the exam?

    Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

  • Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

    They barely had any atmosphere.

  • What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

    Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

  • Who knows where they went?

    They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed

  • What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

    They didn't know their limits

  • Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

    He refused to integrate.

  • Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

    He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

  • What did the failed Swedish chef say?

    All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it .

  • Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

    Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

  • Why did the orange juice fail his math exam?

    He wasn't concentrated.

  • Why did the Latino Eminem fail in the music business?

    Because he had no compaDREs.

  • Why did the feminist fail algebra?

    She couldn't solve inequalities.

  • Why did the Mexican fail English 101?

    He wouldn't turn in his essay

  • Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

    He couldn't make hands meet.

  • What did the dash say when he failed his exam?

    I underscored."

  • What do you call a failing brand?

    Calvin DeKlein.

  • What did the Pie say when he failed a math test?

    How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"

  • What do all failing students in New Orleans have in common?

    They are all below "C level".

  • Why did the mexican fire department fail?

    They didnt have any Jose to spray the water.

  • Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

    She couldn't stand making Kermitments

  • Why did the student fail his physics test?

    He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

  • Why did the horse fail German?

    Because he could only say, "neighn!"

  • Why did the hipster fail making ice cubes for his bourbon?

    Because he pulled out the tray before it was cool

  • Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show?

    They were all Nervous-Rex

  • What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times?

    A yellow license plate.