Fall Jokes
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Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer?
To make it Fall.
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What do you call a black-white-black-white.... What do you call a black-white-black-white-black?
A nun falling off the stairs!! A really old one there.
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Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?
Because the pedals fell off.
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What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?
AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
A: Because she was in the non-friction section.
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What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him?
Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.
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Why don't girls in San Francisco wear skirts?
Their balls would fall out.
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Why are black people afraid to fall asleep?
The last black person that had a dream got shot!
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What's the difference between autumn and fall?
The twin towers didn't autumn
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Why did the nuke switch course?
Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression
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What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Aw shucks!
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Why did the monkey fall of the tree?
Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.
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What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow!
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!
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How did Reddit not fell down yet?
I mean, it is only hanging by threads...
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When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ?
the four hands (you dirty minds)
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Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?
Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed
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How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?
Somebody shot her.
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What is Sherlock's favorite season?
Fall...
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How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?
When the color of the license plates start to change.
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What is your favorite dumb joke?
Mine would have to be Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.
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What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A nun falling down stairs
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!
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What did the beaver say when he fell in water?
Dam it.
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What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?
They know people will blow them.
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How did the newfie injure himself raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree
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Why did Sara fall out of the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock..who's there..Not Sara.
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Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?
Because they kept falling through his hands.
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How did the pollock die raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
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What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Who's there ! Anne ! Anne who ?
Anne apple just fell on my head !
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What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?
Tufaloffahsofa
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What do you say when the inventor of the telephone falls over?
Alexander Graham Fell!
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What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?
Ayyyy watch it homes!
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Why is the new Brexit diet so popular?
All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?
A: They got married in the spring.
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Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born?
Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones.
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What did the Native American say when his dog fell of the cliff?
Dog gone!
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Why did the Ottoman empire collapse?
Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over.
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What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!
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What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?
Because he cauterize.
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Why did the Fall break off from all the other seasons?
Because it wanted autumnomy
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What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him?
Get off me, homes!
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How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
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Why did the black boy fall off his bike?
He didn't. He fell off your bike.
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What did the tree say to the lumberjack?
I'm falling for you
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What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor?
Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!
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Why did Eve want to move to New York ?
She fell for the Big Apple !
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Why did the kid fall out of the tree?
I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure
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What is one of the funniest simple joke you have ever heard?
Literally... made you die laughing e.g. Why did the monkey fall of the tree bc it died e.g. How do you keep an idiot in suspense
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What is cowhide mostly used for?
Keeping cows from falling apart.
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What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
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Why are fish so gullible?
They fall for things hook line and sinker!
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How can you avoid falling hair?
Get out of the way.
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Why are there no good jokes about engineers?
zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?
There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
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What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?
Fall out boy
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Why do clumsy people get married?
They fall in love.
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What do you call it when a Greek handicap falls over?
Olympus has fallen.
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What do people and trees have in common?
They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
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How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?
By moving faux wood. Rimshot
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What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?
A laplander !
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What do conspiracy nuts do to fall asleep?
They count sheeple.
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When is the month when the most trees fall?
Sep-timber
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How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
None, he fell.
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Whatever happened to silk underwear?
A: Fell through the cracks.
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What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him?
Get off me, homes.
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What's black and yellow and makes everyone laugh?
A school bus full of black people falling off a cliff.
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What do you get when you foot falls asleep?
Coma-toes.
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What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?
Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
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What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?
A rehearsal
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What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?
We'll have to rehearse that."
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What's the problem with radioactive underpants?
Chernobyl fall out..
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What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.
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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?
Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*
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What did the cholo say when the houses fell on him?
ey, get off me homes!
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Why did Timmy fall off the swing?
Me: why Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there Him: Not Timmy.
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Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired. :)
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What did the architect say about the rack?
How does she not fall over?
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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh sheeeeeettttt!
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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
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What do you call a guy who plays Fallout?
A Fall Out Boy.
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What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?
200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)
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What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?
A leaf. The rope catches the emo.
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Who falls first?
Neither. They can both levitate.
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What do you call a snobby felon falling down the stairs?
A condescending condescending!
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What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?
An ATM machine
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What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
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Why did the fish fall off it's bike?
It's a fish.
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What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?
I'm not lichen this!'
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Why did Suzie fall down the stairs?
I pushed her
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What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him?
Get off me Holmes!
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
A: Bach in the saddle again.
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What can't a man with no arms break?
His fall.
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What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
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What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony
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What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.
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Where did Sally go when the bombs fell?
Everywhere.
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What do you call a woman who fell off a cliff?
Eileen Dover...
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How did Little Debby get pregnant?
She fell into a box of Ding Dongs
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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs?
He was shot in the face.
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Why no pants on?
We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell
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Why did the clown wear loud socks?
A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.
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Why don't you buy Ukrainian underwear?
Because cher-nob'll fall out
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Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?
When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.
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Why did Sally fall of the swingset?
She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there Not Sally.
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Why did little timmy fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a canoe at him !
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What's a cow's favourite love song?
When I fall in love it will be for heifer.
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What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
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What should you buy if your hair falls out ?
A good vacuum cleaner !
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Why did the half blind man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
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What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?
Igloos it back together.
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How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD
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Which one will fall off first?
The one with the smaller mu.
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What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?
Ow, this really hertz.
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What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure?
Zoolander
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What did the mexican say when a development fell on him?
yo get off me, homes!
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What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?
I have only my shelf to blame"
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How to avoid falling trap to clickbaiting?
Sorry, you can't!
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Why did Lucy fall off the swing?
Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.
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Why do bicycles always fall down if unsupported?
Because they're two-tired.
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When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?
Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!
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Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?
She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement
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What do cannonballs do when they fall in love?
They make bbs
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What is a rift valley?
Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.
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What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?
Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!
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What's that, turkey?
GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well GOBBLE GOBBLE breaks turkey's neck no time for your riddles, in the oven you go
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How did the blonde die raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
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What will fall on the lawn first?
An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue
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Why did Mary fell from the swing ?
Because she hasn't got arms !
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Why did the guy fall off his bicycle?
Because I threw a microwave at him
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Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?
It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.
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What do you call a building that falls in love with its architect?
Edifice Rex
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Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?
The Retail store
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What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell?
Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame
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Why do nuns hate laundry day?
They always fall back on old habits.
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What did the cholo say when two houses fell on top of him?
Get off me homes!
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Which chocolate stops dogs hair falling out?
Malteasers
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When's the best time to go skydiving?
Fall.
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Why do you never see black people on cruise ships?
Because they won't fall for the same trick twice
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Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?
She had mittens on.
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What did the bird say after its cage fell apart?
Cheap cheap!
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Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?
Because he was such a sloppy dresser.
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Why do black people have darker skin than other people?
Because, similar to leaves fallen from a tree, black people are dead inside.
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What happens if an axe falls on your car?
You have an ax-i-dent (accident).
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Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars?
A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there Me: Not Lucy.
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Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?
Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.
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What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?
A match maiden heaven
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What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?
The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.
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Which family in Game Of Thrones fell down the stairs?
The Bannisters
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What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?
Get off me, homes.
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Why did the blind girl fall in the well?
She couldn't see that well.
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Why did the flower fall over?
It was a little daisy
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How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?
He fell into it.
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Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?
They keep falling through his hands.
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Why don't black people go on cruise ships?
They aren't gonna fall for that one again.
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Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit?
through that door" Thank you very ruff! "What'd you say " *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*
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Why did the motorcycle fall asleep?
It was two-tired.
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When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky?
When it's raining Datsun cogs.
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What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?
They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.
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Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction?
Because it was a-peeling on the Eye.
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What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?
One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.
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What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?
Ouch! I Hermione!"
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What do you call a car that you only drive in the fall?
An autumn-mobile.
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Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?
Because beans always fall through the grill.
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What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?
Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"
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Why did the ox fall down the hill?
A: It was an oxident.
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Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.
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Why did Night fall?
Because Day tripped him.
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Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill?
To steep.
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What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.
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What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.
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What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon
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Why did Sally fall off the swingset?
Because she had no arms. "knock knock" "whose there?" "not sally!"
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What are 2 girl chickens that fall in love?
A. Lesbi-hens
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What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?
Well, glad I got that over with."
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What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?
A couple of steps closer to their final destination.
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What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?
I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?
The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'
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What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.
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What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?
21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH
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What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?
I heard that he was fully re-covered.
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Why can't Chinese Barbecue?
A: Because the rice falls through the grill
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What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round!
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Why doesn't Jesus like M&?
Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles.
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What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!
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Why did Mary fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there ) Well, it ain't Mary.
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Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?
The retail store
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Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?
Because they fall through his hands.
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What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!
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What do you say when a woman falls off a boat?
Full speed ahead!"
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What's the difference between a man falling from 100ft and a man falling from 10ft ?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - SMACK SMACK - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?
Bob.
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What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?
Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.
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How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?
She was shouting for help.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine & a small child?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...
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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?
A: Because it was dead.
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What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?
He fell on his ash.
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Why did the cop stink?
Because he fell asleep on duty.
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Why do trees shed their leaves in fall?
Because they've had their chloro-fill.
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Why do bicycles fall over?
Because they are two tired.
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What do you call a minion that falls on a grill?
Filet mignon
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What falls first an apple or a black man?
An apple because the balackman hangs.
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How do you call 4 blacks in a car falling off the cliff?
A waste. You could fit 1 more in the trunk.
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What did the Mexican guy say when the two houses fell on him?
Get off me homes.
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Why did the bicycle fall over??
Because it was two tired...
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Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over?
Because it was... imbalanced.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!
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What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?
Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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Why was the Trail of Tears so hard on the Native Americans?
It's not easy to hike a trail when you're always falling down drunk.
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What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?
But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!
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Why did Sally fall down the hill?
I pushed her.
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Why didn't the mobsters car parts fit?
they all fell off a truck.
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What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?
Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow
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Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
The tomato was in a can.
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Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?
It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*
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What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?
When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.
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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure
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What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?
A nun falling down the stairs
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What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?
Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss
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What happens if Russians fall from an Afghan boat?
They sue Kabul Yacht.
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Why did Satan need life alert?
Because he had fallen, and could not get back up.
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Why did the polynomial tree fall over?
It didn't have any real roots
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What did the horse say when he fell over?
Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."
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What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?
Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.
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What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?
I blame my shelf
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Why'd Sally fall off the swings?
Cause she's got no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
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What did one autumn leaf say to another?
I'm falling for you.
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Where do animals go when their tails falls off?
The retail store
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Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms
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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?
He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."
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What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window
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Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
Because if they didn't they'd fall over.
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What is green, fuzzy and very deadly if it falls on you out of a tree?
A pool table.
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How'd Florida man break his leg raking leaves?
He fell off the palm tree
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How about a dirty joke?
the new born white duckling fell into the mud. the filthy, filthy mud.
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Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?
To stop it from falling out.
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Why USD erected so fast?
Why falling US$ erected so fast after GFC
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Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?
The girl necks door.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?
Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!
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Why did the girltree fall in love with the boy tree?
He was sappy
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What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him?
Get off me holmes!
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How many hipsters does it take to...?
Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again.
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Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?
Because it cracked itself up.
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What's up in the sky, oh so high?
A baby falling out of an airplane.
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Why did Vladimir fall off his bike?
He was rushin
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How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam?
Egypt
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Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?
Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!
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Why Mark?
I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!
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What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?
Hope you fell better tomorrow.
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Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?
Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.
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Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens
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How many shags have you had?
He started counting then fell asleep.
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What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks?
The stove.
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Why is a bad government like a bikini?
Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.
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What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
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Why did Kevin's Ice cream fall down?
Because he was hit by a truck
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What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
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What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?
A-flat minor.
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What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?
I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit
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Why did the Caucasian gymnast fall off the balance beam while on television?
Because the white balance was off on the camera.
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Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !
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What is black and white and screams?
A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.
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Why do black people from west Africa never go on cruises?
They're not falling for that again.
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What do you call a Rwandan tribe falling down a hill?
Tutsi Roll.
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Why did the fallen child cross the road?
Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.
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Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?
Because Chernobyl fall off.
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Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?
It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
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Why did the blind women fall into a well?
Someone pushed her
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Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?
It must have fallen through a crack.
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What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?
Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.
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What do you call an arrogant criminal falling down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
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Why do you never see black people on cruises?
They're not falling for that one again!!
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Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fall out
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How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
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Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants?
Cos Chernobyl fall out
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Which way will it fall?
If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs
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Why did Constantinople fall?
Itstumbled.
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Why did Timmy fall off the swings?
Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there Not Timmy..
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What stops your hair from falling?
The floor
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What did the horse say when he fell down?
I've fallen and I can't giddyup.
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Why don black people go on cruises?
Pssshh, they're not falling for that one again.
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What's white & falls from the sky?
The coming of the Lord." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...please enjoy this tweet. I'm going to hell.
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Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?
They're not falling for that one again..
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How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
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Which pizza shop's business is like it's name?
Dominoes. Falling one at a time.
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What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?
Business kept falling off!
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What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell?
the floor
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What's blue, white and red?
A cancerous child who fall down the stairs.
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When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?
Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.
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What causes something to go up and then down?
Viagra falls
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What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra?
Niagara falls.
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What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?
A nun falling down the stairs
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What did Dr. Evil say when he fell in the rancor pit?
Throw me a frickin bone here.
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Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving
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Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?
She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.
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What happened when the reporter fell into the water?
She became an anchor...
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Why was Roy Rogers upset when he fell off his horse?
He wanted a Trigger warning.
-
Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?
Because the beans keep falling through the grill.
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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?
Nothing, she had her mittens on.
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Why did the bicycle fall down?
because it was two-tired.
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What do you do if an epileptic falls in your swimming pool?
Throw in your laundry.
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Which one falls off first?
The one with the smallest
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Why did the cup fall over?
Because it was drunk.
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How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?
Infuse the gravy with cocaine.
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Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?
Chernobyl fall out.
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What do you call a guy who falls into a Yellowstone hot spring?
Stew.
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What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?
The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
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What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?
Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers
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What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?
That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
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How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure.
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What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
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Where was Timmy when the bomb fell?
Everywhere.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?
Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window
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Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?
Because he was crossed.
-
What do you call a falling llama?
A llama-fall.
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What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?
20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*
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How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony?
smh
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What do you call a waterfall that flows upwards?
Viagra falls!
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Why was Pablo Escobar always falling asleep?
He was **narco**leptic.
-
What do they say when a woman falls over?
FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch v=OA8TlOsVw#t=82
-
What is the best offensive joke you have? Can you make me laugh?
Read all the other threads. I need new content. The old stuff is getting, well old. Here's my contribution. Have you head of the new drinking game? The mike brown special: stand there and take 12 shots. What's the difference between mike brown and a college kid? College kids can handle more shots before they fall down.
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Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?
Because the market got flooded.
-
Why did broke man fall over?
He ran out of balance
-
Why did the boy fall off the bike?
Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold
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Why did the blonde quit using the pill?
Because it kept falling out.
-
Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window
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Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.
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What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?
1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat
-
What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground?
spits*
-
Why did Bono fall off the stage?
Because he was too close to The Edge.
-
What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?
He falls off
-
Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?
To a weterinarian!
-
How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?
About 16 seconds
-
What do you call a person who keeps falling over?
Tripical
-
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff?
Pikachu, that's all he can say.
-
What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?
I'll live...
-
What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender?
No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. end metajoke
-
How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
-
What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four
-
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
It died.
-
Why did the airplane fall out of the sky?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread
-
What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?
Cher nob'll fall out.
-
What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
-
What happened when the teacher fell in the copier?
A: She was beside herself.
-
What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?
Full speed ahead
-
Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
-
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) ...not Sarah.
-
Why did Timmy fall off his bike?
Because Bill threw a mattress at him.
-
Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler?
Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.
-
What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?
Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.
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How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?
Egypt.
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Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?
Because they fall through his hands.
-
Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?
Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!
-
What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him?
Get off me homes.
-
What happened when Rick fell down a hill?
Rick rolled.
-
What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?
Baa-Dum-Sss
-
What do you call a pc that fell in the ocean?
A Dell rolling in the deep.
-
Why did the girls fall off the swing?
Someone threw a fridge at her. It's not supposed to make sense
-
What did the doctor say to the domestic abuse victim?
See you next "fall".
-
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired
-
What is the most popular band in Japan?
Fall Out Boy
-
Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?
he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.
-
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because someone threw a fridge at her....
-
What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
-
What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Sheet
-
What is black, white, black, white...?
A nun falling down the stairs
-
Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?
The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "
-
What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him?
Get off me, homes"
-
Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?
The Betty Ford Clinic
-
How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?
Your heart goes "pomme pomme ... pomme pomme ..."
-
Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?
It was important not to fall off the wagon.
-
What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
-
When a boy falls, what does he fall against?
His will
-
What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ?
Ear we go !
-
What did the bell say when it fell in the water?
I'm wringing wet.
-
What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?
The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)
-
How do you call a jockey falling from his horse ?
An Hippic fail.
-
What's squawky, worn out, and falls from foot easily?
An old shoe... ...and Ronda Rousey
-
Why did Steve fall off the swing?
Because he was a potato!
-
What's the fastest way to make your trousers fall down?
Lusain Belt
-
Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?
There may be leavesdropping
-
Why couldn't the redneck kid play baseball?
Because he fell down a stairs and his dad definitely didn't break his legs.
-
What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?
A Popsicle.