Fly Jokes
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Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?
Because they allow 1 free carrion
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What did the shirt say to the pants zipper?
Your so fly man
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Why don't seagulls fly by the bay?
Because then they would be called Bagels!
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What did the fly say to the second man on the moon?
Buzz.....
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What's gray and can't fly?
A parking lot.
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What's the best airline to fly around the Seven Kingdoms ?
Southwesteros
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What do we want...?
LOW FLYING AIRPLANES!" When do we want it "NEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW"
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What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?
Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.
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What time do dentists fly airplanes?
Tooth Hurty (2:30)
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Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?
Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport
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Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?
Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible
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What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium?
A fowl !
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Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.
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What happened when pigs started flying?
Everyone got swine flu
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Why was the pilot flying circles over South Korea?
He was Seoul searching.
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What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F.
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What happened when the composer got angry?
He flew off the Handel
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Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?
Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup .
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Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1?
A: For spare parts.
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What did one frog say to the other frog?
Time's fun when you're having flies.
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Why is a duck when it's round?
Because the farther it flies, the fewer.
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What's the difference between a Syrian school and a terrorist camp?
I don't know, I'm just flying the drone
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What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion?
Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger
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What's the difference between a terrorist camp and a school?
No idea man, im just flying the drone.
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What happens when a fly drinks rum?
It gets buzzed!
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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?
The Pilot, you racist.
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Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts?
To keep the flies off the fried chicken.
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What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
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What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein
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Why can ducks fly so well?
They're high on quack.
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Why do some birds fly south for the winter?
Its to far to walk.
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Why do seagulls only fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they'd be called Baygulls.
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Why can't you reveal someone's private information online while flying?
Because that would be a para-dox.
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
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What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?
A: He gobbles up.
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What do you call a white man flying a plane?
Clive, usually.
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What is a chinese pirate an expert at?
Flying a plane.
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Where did the Martian put his teacup?
On his flying saucer.
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What kind of monkey can fly?
A hot air baboon!
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What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland?
It Netherlands.
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What do you call an elephant that flies ?
A jumbo jet !
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What do you call something that makes fun of people and can fly?
A mocking bird!
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What do you call a seagull that flies by the bay?
a bagel
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What do women and fly wire have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
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Why do moths fly with their legs apart?
Have you ever seen the size of moth balls
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What did the fly say to the other fly?
Your man is open!"
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What do you call a sick eagle that just flew in from out of the country?
an ill-eagle immigrant
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What is big hairy and can fly faster than sound?
King Koncord.
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What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common?
They both have flies on them.
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What is it?
It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow
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What do you call pants that can fly?
Peter Pants I just made it up
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Why can't cars fly kites?
Because of the windshield.
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What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?
Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."
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What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?
A dead bird
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Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics?
Because he was Snow'den.
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How do rabbits fly?
In hareplanes.
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How do cops get rid of flies?
They call in a S.W.A.T. team
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What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?
Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!
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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?
A dead bird.
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How do you know you're flying over Poland?
A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
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What's the difference between a taliban outpost and an Afghani Elementary school?
I don't know, I just fly the drones
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What do you call an asian who flies planes?
A pilot.
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Why did the eagle fly into the church?
It was a bird of pray
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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
A pilot, you f'n racist!!
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Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied'er. (SFW)
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What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards
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What do you call a flying Jedi?
A skywalker. (I'm really sorry)
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Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane?
You would too if you had to fly Alitalia.
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Why don't sea-gulls fly over bays?
Because then they would be bay-gulls.
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Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge?
One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.
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What's the difference between a school of children and a terrorist camp?
I don't know, I just fly the drone Edit/apology: My friend said this to me, I thought I should share with you all, he said that I could post it here. 5 minutes later he told me he found it on reddit.... I'm sorry all.
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What does a Bird and a fridge have in common?
They Can Both fly except the fridge.
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How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?
About 6 hours.
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What's the difference between a Boko Haram training camp and a Nigerian refugee camp?
I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet.
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What s the difference between an ostridge ?
it can neither fly
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Why does Peter Pan fly?
Because if someone hit your peter with a pan, you'd fly too!!
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Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?
I dunno I just fly the drone.....
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Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
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Why ya going to the airport?
Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."
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What do you call a piece of fruit that can fly?
A pearrot
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Why doesn't Tyrannosaurus Rex fly?
They're all dead!
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How is it that magic carpets are able to fly?
They are powered by turban engines.
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What's green and flies over Poland?
Snotzis.
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Why do vultures find it easy to fly?
They only ever have carrion baggage.
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies!
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Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know I just fly the drone.
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What rabbit wears on his back while flying?
Eagle
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What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter!
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What did the bird say when it flew into the window?
Owl
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Why do moths fly with their legs spread?
Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?
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What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
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What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?
Ayyee essay, where are you going
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What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted?
I don't know I just fly the drone"
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What's the difference between an ant and a bird?
A bird can fly.
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What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?
How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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Why do birds fly to the tropics in winter?
Why, wouldn't the winter be over by the time they reach, if they walk all the way along? So they fly.
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Where do flying pigs land?
the airpork!
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What's hairy and flies through the air?
Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!
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How do birds learn to fly?
They just wing it.
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What is big hairy and can fly ?
King Kongcorde !
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How do you swat one hundred flies at the same time?
Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
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How do ducks fly high?
They use quack!
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What do you call A man in an iron suit flying by the king of the North?
A Stark contrast
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Why a centipede cannot fly coach?
Not enough leg room!
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What do we want? Low flying plane noises! when do we want em?
Nnneeeeeeeeyyyyyoooooowwwww
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What do you get if your budgie flies into the blender ?
Shredded Tweet !
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What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?
I'm not a big fan."
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What do you call an egg from outer space?
An unidentified flying omelet!
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Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
A: It was closed.
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Why did the monster lie on his back?
To trip up low-flying aircraft.
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What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it
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How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?
He was de-lighted
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What is long, brown and covered in flies?
The welfare line.
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What do you call a black guy who flies airplanes?
A pilot, you racist.
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When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?
It's because that side has more geese.
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What do you call a turlte that flies?
a shellocopter. damn homies
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What do you call a flying pig?
Swine flu
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What do you call a fly when it retires?
A flew. BUH DUM TSS! No Alright.. I'll see myself out.
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When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?
Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.
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What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
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Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?
Because he was on a higher plane.
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What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
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Which fly makes films ?
Stephen Speilbug !
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Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?
because he was flying solo and went look no hans...
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What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?
Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.
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Why would anyone trust Chewbacca to fly the millennium falcon?
He's such a wookie pilot. I had three Star Wars jokes prior to this. But none were any good.
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Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?
Ebay.
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What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?
I don't know man, I just fly the drone
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What do frogs say?
Times fun when you're having flies
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What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?
They ostrich-sized him
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Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?
Because they don't want to be bagels.
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What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V?
asparagoose
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How cute does one have to be to make sparks fly?
Electro cute
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What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".
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What's the difference between a reindeer and a caribou?
Caribou can't fly.
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Who do you call when theres a fly in your house?
The SWAT team
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What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?
His red wings.
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What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
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What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung
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What do you a pterodactyl that can't fly?
Inosaur.
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What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?
A herrocopter
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What do an eagle and a broom have in common?
They both fly but the broom doesn't.
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Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'
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What has four legs and can fly?
Two Birds!
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Why can't penguins fly?
They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.
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What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?
Zoolander
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What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck. I'm sorry.
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Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?
If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump
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What's got six legs and can fly long distances ?
Three swallows !
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What has four wheels and flies ?
A rubbish bin !
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What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?
a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha
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Why was the bird sick?
It had the flew and its throat was soar.
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What do you call a black man flying an airplane?
Pilot.
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What's green, has a cape, and flies?
Super Pickle!
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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then you'd have to call them bagels.
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What kind of pie can fly?
A Magpie.
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Why couldn't Billy the Jet go flying with his friends?
Because he was grounded.
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What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?
A pterrorist
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What would someone in the 13 hundreds say if you told them we fly in giant metal birds all around the world?
You mean across
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What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance?
A Fairodactyl
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What is smaller than a teeny weenie fly?
A fly's teeny weenie.
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What's yellow and flys through walls?
A magic banana...
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How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?
They fly in an 'A' (eh)
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What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane?
A pilot what else would you call him? You racist prick!
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What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?
They're hiring.
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What do you call Japanese people that fly planes?
Pirates.
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What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, then they'd be called bagels!
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What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
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What do you call an Asian flying a plane?
A pirate.
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What is the difference between reindeer and caribou?
Reindeer are the ones that fly.
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Why don't seagulls fly over bays?
because then they'd be called bagels!
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What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?
A PILOT, YOU RACIST!
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Why do vultures hate flying?
Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss
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Why does wonder woman fly?
Because she can't drive for sh*t.
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What kind of bird flies around bays?
Bagles
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What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?
Swine flu
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Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?
They were scared of sparks flying.
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How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
A: By scareplane.
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What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...
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What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
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What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?
Where you going essay!
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What do you call a flying bus?
Bus Lightyear...
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What has four legs a tail whiskers and flies?
A dead cat.
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What's big grey and flies straight up ?
An elecopter !
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What the difference between a ISIS member and a child?
I don't know, I just fly the drones.
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What's green and yellow and can't fly?
Brazilian soccer players.
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Why are 9/11 jokes never funny?
Because they always fly over everyone's head.
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Why can't the plane fly?
Because it's grounded.
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What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup?
Yum Yum."
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What do you call a fly without wings?
Paste unoriginal joke here)
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What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.
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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ?
A tiger moth !
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What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?
Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol
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Why do buzzards prefer to fly?
Because they really like their carry-on..... yeah total dad joke, i know.
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Where do rabbits learn to fly?
The Hare Force
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What's all white and can't fly?
Harrison Ford
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What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?
Got high.
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What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome?
That was a cloche call!"
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Why were the flies playing football in saucer ?
They where playing for the cup !
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What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
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What do you call a flying Grizzly?
a bearoplane
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Why is a rat when it spins?
The higher it flies, the much.
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What do you call a Mexican that flies a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
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Why is peter pan always flying?
Because he neverlands
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What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls?
They don't have a pilots license.
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What does R. Kelly have in common with Malaysian Airlines?
They both think they can fly.
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What is Madonna's least favourite band?
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
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How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base?
I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.
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What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels :D
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Why can't ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Cause they would quack up.
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What do cows usually fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.
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What's a penguins favourite relative?
Aunt Arctica! PENGUIN . . ME makes flies over head motion PENGUIN I don't know what that means
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What can conspiracy theorists never explain?
They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that
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What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
Bacon would go up!
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What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying?
Aw man, that's a drag."
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Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?
Because they were Wright.
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What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?
The hell out of there.
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Why do seagulls fly by the sea?
Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.
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What did the man say to the fly?
Hey.. you're looking fly"
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What flies through the jungle singing opera ?
The parrots of Penzance !
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Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?
So time would fly.
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Why does LeVar Burton not like to travel by airplane?
He usually flies twice as high.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because if they did they would be Bagels
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What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?
You want flies with that?
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What do you call an Arab flying a plane?
A pilot you racist
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Why are Chameleons surprisingly good at flying?
Because they are always in duh skies
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What do flies wear on their feet?
A: Shoos.
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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, how did they get in there anyway?
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What's brown and white and flies all over?
Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!
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What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?
A dead bird.
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Why don't you shoo those flies?
Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!
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Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?
Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!
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Why can't seagulls fly over the bay?
Cuz then they'd be baygulls.
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What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team
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Why is everyone smiling at me today?
checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.
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What did the bat say to the other bat when he almost flew into a tree?
Whoa did you hear that?
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What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish ?
Tweetie Pie !
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Why did the Duck flying in the sky get Shot?
Michael J Fox was hunting rabbits.
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What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.
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How long does it take to fly to Boston?
The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.
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What goes zzub zzub ?
A bee flying backwards !
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How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts?
Quid each.
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What is green and flies above Poland?
Peter Pansky
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What do flies do at church?
Flyspray
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What has handles and flies?
A witch in a garbage can.
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What do you call americans flying to space?
The plot for Wall-E
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How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
A: By witchful thinking.
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What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
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What happens when ducks fly upside down??
They quack up
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What wobbles as it flies?
A: A jelly-copter.
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Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!
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What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?
They are hiring.
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Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines?
The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way.
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What do you call a seagull flying over the bay?
A bagel
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Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !
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Why did the prophylactic fly across the room?
It was peed off.
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What do eagles and moles have in common?
They both fly, except for the mole...
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Why don't seagulls ever fly over the bay?
Because then they'd be bagels.
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How did they get them ?
I said - " fly fishing" and yes he is transgender.
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How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly?
Electro
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.
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Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?
The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.
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Why is one side of the flying-V longer than the other?
Because there's more birds in it.
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What do you call bagels that can fly?
Plane" Bagels!... I'll show myself out...
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Why did the Millennium Falcon hot a tree?
Because Han was flying so low.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon!
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What is the national bird of Italy?
A: The fly.