Fruit Jokes
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What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?
Fruit of the Womb
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What did the vegatable say to the fruit?
Turnip
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What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit?
Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?
Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"
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What is both a fruit and a vegetable?
Elton John in a coma.
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What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?
Lettuce, pray.
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What do you need to drink out of a fruit?
a STRAWberry. ...I'll go...
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What do you call a fruit that isn't allowed to marry?
A cantelope
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What type of fruit do twins prefer?
Pears.
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What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone?
A banana-nana-nana Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.
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What do you call two fruits that can't get married?
Cantaloupes
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What fruit makes you confused?
Papayas See, you're confused right?
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Why do people buy fruit already cut up?
There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.
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What turns a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
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Why did the fruit leave office?
because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.
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What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?
A Coconut.
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Which fruit wanted to run away and get married, but couldn't?
Cant-elope :D
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Why a fruit doesn't walk?
Because fruit flies
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What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?
Fruit of the tomb
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Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?
BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE
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What do you call a fruit that procrastinates?
What do you call a fruit that procrastinates? ...A Cramberry!
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What do you call a piece of fruit that can fly?
A pearrot
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What did the banana say to the apple?
Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot.
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What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit?
Durian durian! im sorry
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What do you get when you combine a recliner with a fruit?
A chairy.
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What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?
The fruits of her labor.
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How did the fruits get married?
They Cantaeloped!
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Why is it so important to fruits to get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
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What do you call a fruit that stays up very late to study for tests?
A: A cramberry.
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What did the pastor say when informing two fruits that they couldn't marry?
No, you cantaloupe.
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What kind of fruit can't get married?
A Cantleope
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What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
Jeffrey Dahmer!
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What type of underwear does a fetus wear?
Fruit of the womb.
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Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??
A Cantaloupe.
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What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
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Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?
Because they cantaloupe.
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What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?
I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.
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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A brick to the back of his head should do it.
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What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?
One's a fruit, you idiot.
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What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground?
A fruit by the foot
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What is Romeo and Juliets least favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
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What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?
what's tomato with you !
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What do you call the fruit of Islam?
Quran-berries
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Why is Mike Pence magic?
He can turn fruits to vegetables
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What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?
Elton John in a coma.
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What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?
A cantaloupe.
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What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit?
The IV Drip
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How's the fruit?
Just peachy.
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What type of fruit is impossible to marry?
Cantaloupe
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What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?
Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.
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How do you...?
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable Give it aids.
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What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable?
A crippled homo.
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What fruit worries teenagers the most?
A promegranate.
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How do you make a fruit cordial?
Be nice to him.
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What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable?
A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair
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Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?
oc Because he cantaloupe.
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What fruit fits best in your palm?
a palm-agranate!
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What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?
13 blackberries and 5 apples
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What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home?
Cantaloupe
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What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
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What did the banana say to the orange?
Fruit can't talk
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What do you call fruits that aren't allowed to marry?
OC Cantaloupes.
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Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower?
Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion
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What does a Doctor do when he needs 50 bags full of fruits?
He goes to Orlando and checks the Pulse.
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Which fruit can never get married?
Melons, because they can'telope.
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Why is fruit so expensive?
I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.
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What fruit can't get married?
CANTELOPE
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What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?
Cantaloupe...
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Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?
Because he ate five fruits a day!
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What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to?
Cantelope.
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Which fruit can't get married?
A can't elope. Or better yet None of them because of the lgbt movement.
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What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?
A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.
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What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?
One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.
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What's the difference between Hillary and a piece of fruit?
deleted
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What do you call a fruit that won't get married?
A Cantaloupe.
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How do you turn fruits into vegetables?
Drive a bus through a pride parade