Gorilla Jokes
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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?
Just the people who were in charge of that decision.
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What does a Gorilla learn first in school?
The Apey-cees!
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Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?
They're ape purists
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Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?
Nutty Marietta!
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What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?
Kong-fu
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What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?
People actually care if a gorilla dies.
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How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?
A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.
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What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?
Paul stop monkeying around!
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What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?
Harambre
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Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?
The Naked Ape!
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What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?
A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!
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Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
The bear hug!
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What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?
He cleaned it!
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What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?
Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!
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What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?
Boko Harambe
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they got big fingers.
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What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?
Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)
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Why does the zoo only have dogs?
Because they shot the gorilla
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What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?
Nothing if you're a gorilla.
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What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?
A cross.
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What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?
a retarded gorilla
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What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?
One of them got shot for touching a kid.
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What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?
King Kong
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What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?
He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'
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What does a man call a gorilla he loves?
Haram Bae
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How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?
He barked g-r-r-r-illa!
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How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?
He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!
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What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?
A gorilla pooped on his face.
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What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ?
A Kong - vict !
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What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang
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What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?
Ape Suzettes!
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What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?
Haram Bay
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What do you call a gorilla in water?
Harambait.
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What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?
A Gorilla
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What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?
haRAMbe
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Why are gorillas so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!
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What did the Gorilla call his first wife?
His prime-mate!
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What political party entices most Gorillas?
The Treepublican Party!
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What do you call Italian women in a sauna?
A: Gorillas In The Mist!
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When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?
Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!
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What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?
Hairy Potter.
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What's black, grey, and red all over?
A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.
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What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?
As little as possible dummy!
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Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?
Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!
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What's the difference between an Armenian and a Gorilla?
Just one hair.
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Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
An ape-ricot sour!
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What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?
Gorillas in the mist
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What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)
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Which author do the Gorillas love most?
Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'
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Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?
Me: picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle "Independence."
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What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?
An animal that puts you out a night !
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Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?
They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!
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When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?
The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!
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Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?
Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'
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What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?
A silverbach.
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Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?
Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...
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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?
Whatever you want, he can't hear you..
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What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.
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What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.
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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?
A: Because it was dead.
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Why cant a Gorilla get a job?
BECAUSE HE'S BLACK
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Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'
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What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?
A harumble.
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What color are apples?
BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors
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Why are Gorillas underpaid?
They're willing to work peanuts!
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Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?
Hairy Truman!