Gorilla Jokes

  • Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

    Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

  • What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

    The Apey-cees!

  • Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

    They're ape purists

  • Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?

    Nutty Marietta!

  • What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons?


  • What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

    People actually care if a gorilla dies.

  • How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla?

    A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla.

  • What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

    Paul stop monkeying around!

  • What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?


  • Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?

    The Naked Ape!

  • What's black brown and white black brown and white brown and white etc.?

    A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

  • Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

    The bear hug!

  • What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

    He cleaned it!

  • What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

    Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

  • What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization?

    Boko Harambe

  • Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

    Because they got big fingers.

  • What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?

    Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)

  • Why does the zoo only have dogs?

    Because they shot the gorilla

  • What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building?

    Nothing if you're a gorilla.

  • What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

    A cross.

  • What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

    a retarded gorilla

  • What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?

    One of them got shot for touching a kid.

  • What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

    King Kong

  • What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

    He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

  • What does a man call a gorilla he loves?

    Haram Bae

  • How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

    He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

  • How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?

    He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

  • What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree?

    A gorilla pooped on his face.

  • What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ?

    A Kong - vict !

  • What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?


  • What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

    Ape Suzettes!

  • What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

    Haram Bay

  • What do you call a gorilla in water?


  • What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

    A Gorilla

  • What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?


  • Why are gorillas so noisy?

    A: They were raised in a zoo!

  • What did the Gorilla call his first wife?

    His prime-mate!

  • What political party entices most Gorillas?

    The Treepublican Party!

  • What do you call Italian women in a sauna?

    A: Gorillas In The Mist!

  • When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

    Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

  • What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

    Hairy Potter.

  • What's black, grey, and red all over?

    A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

  • What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?

    As little as possible dummy!

  • Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

    Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

  • What's the difference between an Armenian and a Gorilla?

    Just one hair.

  • Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

    An ape-ricot sour!

  • What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

    Gorillas in the mist

  • What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?

    A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)

  • Which author do the Gorillas love most?

    Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

  • Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?

    Me: picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle "Independence."

  • What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?

    An animal that puts you out a night !

  • Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

    They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

  • When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?

    The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

  • Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright?

    Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'

  • What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord?

    A silverbach.

  • Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

    Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

  • What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?

    Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

  • What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?

    A retarded gorilla.

  • What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

    A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

  • Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?

    A: Because it was dead.

  • Why cant a Gorilla get a job?


  • Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?

    Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'

  • What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?

    A harumble.

  • What color are apples?

    BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

  • Why are Gorillas underpaid?

    They're willing to work peanuts!

  • Who is the Gorillas' favourite President of recent years?

    Hairy Truman!