Gun Jokes
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What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?
A gun only has one trigger.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?
Some people are against shooting guns.
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What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?
A smoothbore.
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What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns?
Militia Etheridge
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What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?
I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)
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What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?
He got fired.
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What do you call Miley Cyrus with a gun?
A shooting star
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Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets?
Felons can't buy guns
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How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
More guns!
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How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?
Shoot the people pushing it.
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What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common?
Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it
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What's the difference between a gun and a feminist?
A gun has one trigger.
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Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?
Because they could only draw guns.
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Why can't a feminist shoot a gun?
They can't handle the triggers.
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What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?
The gun gets triggered.
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Who wants two tickets to the gun show?
I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(
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Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?
Because they carry guns instead
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How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More guns.
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When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?
the second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."
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What do you call a white guy with a gun?
A potential suspect.
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What's the difference between a woman and a gun?
Guns don't move out when you bring a new one home.
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Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?
He heard the film had dogfighting scenes
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What do guns and feminists have in common?
They are very loud when triggered.
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Why don't SJW's like guns?
They can't handle the trigger!
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Which gun does Superman use?
SCAR-L
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Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ?
Amazon of a gun !
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What did the American vet did when he came to back from Vietnam?
The guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume!"
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How do you cure depression?
A gun.
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What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?
A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)
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What did the black man say to the white kid?
Put the gun down!
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How many guns do I have left?
That's right. 10.
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What gun does Jesus hate the most?
The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast
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What type of gun do time travelers use?
A Clock-18
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What kind of gun does a firefighter have?
A water gun.
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How do you tell if someone online is American?
They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)
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How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?
Put them inside a woman's body.
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How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?
Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.
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Which gun has a perfect rating?
A Five-seven.
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What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?
A gun only has one trigger.
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What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun?
Recoil
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Where do you think you're going at this hour?
gun hangs head & turns around
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Whats the difference between an easily offended person and a gun?
A gun actually does something when triggered.
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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
More guns.
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What gun would Jesus outlaw first?
A nail gun
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Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?
A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!
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How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: More guns.
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What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?
Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."
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What's the difference between white students and black students?
Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.
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Why are black people so good at running?
Because when they here the gun go off they start runnin.
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Why is a gun better than a woman?
You can buy a silencer for a gun
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What's common between a crying baby and a gun?
You must not bring either to the movies.
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Why did a gun go to the barber?
Because it's bangs were getting long!
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What gun do you use to hunt a moose?
A moosecut!
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What kind of guns do bees use?
BeeBee guns
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What's the difference between a gun and a wife?
You can silence a gun.
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What do you call a black man with a gun ?
You call him "sir".
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What do guns and millennials have in common?
You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered.
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What Do You Call Giving a Dutch Guy a Gun?
Armin Van Buren.
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What, over in ten seconds?
Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."
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What, over in 6 seconds?
No, with 8 black men and a gun."
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What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer?
mainly SMALL ARMS.
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Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?
In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.
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What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?
The gun has only one trigger
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What do churches and guns have in common?
They both go PEW PEW PEW
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Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side?
So their hats are right side up when they go to aim.
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What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?
Oh shoot, I forgot...