Gun Jokes

  • What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

    A gun only has one trigger.

  • What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

    Some people are against shooting guns.

  • What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?

    A smoothbore.

  • What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns?

    Militia Etheridge

  • What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

    I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

  • What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

    He got fired.

  • What do you call Miley Cyrus with a gun?

    A shooting star

  • Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets?

    Felons can't buy guns

  • How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

    More guns!

  • How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?

    Shoot the people pushing it.

  • What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common?

    Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it

  • What's the difference between a gun and a feminist?

    A gun has one trigger.

  • Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?

    Because they could only draw guns.

  • Why can't a feminist shoot a gun?

    They can't handle the triggers.

  • What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

    The gun gets triggered.

  • Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

    I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

  • Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?

    Because they carry guns instead

  • How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    More guns.

  • When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?

    the second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."

  • What do you call a white guy with a gun?

    A potential suspect.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a gun?

    Guns don't move out when you bring a new one home.

  • Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

    He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

  • What do guns and feminists have in common?

    They are very loud when triggered.

  • Why don't SJW's like guns?

    They can't handle the trigger!

  • Which gun does Superman use?


  • Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ?

    Amazon of a gun !

  • What did the American vet did when he came to back from Vietnam?

    The guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume!"

  • How do you cure depression?

    A gun.

  • What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

    A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

  • What did the black man say to the white kid?

    Put the gun down!

  • How many guns do I have left?

    That's right. 10.

  • What gun does Jesus hate the most?

    The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast

  • What type of gun do time travelers use?

    A Clock-18

  • What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

    A water gun.

  • How do you tell if someone online is American?

    They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

  • How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

    Put them inside a woman's body.

  • How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

    Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

  • Which gun has a perfect rating?

    A Five-seven.

  • What's the difference between a gun and a radical feminist?

    A gun only has one trigger.

  • What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun?


  • Where do you think you're going at this hour?

    gun hangs head & turns around

  • Whats the difference between an easily offended person and a gun?

    A gun actually does something when triggered.

  • How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb?

    More guns.

  • What gun would Jesus outlaw first?

    A nail gun

  • Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

    A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

  • How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: More guns.

  • What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

    Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

  • What's the difference between white students and black students?

    Black students bring the gun to school. White kids use it at school.

  • Why are black people so good at running?

    Because when they here the gun go off they start runnin.

  • Why is a gun better than a woman?

    You can buy a silencer for a gun

  • What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

    You must not bring either to the movies.

  • Why did a gun go to the barber?

    Because it's bangs were getting long!

  • What gun do you use to hunt a moose?

    A moosecut!

  • What kind of guns do bees use?

    BeeBee guns

  • What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

    You can silence a gun.

  • What do you call a black man with a gun ?

    You call him "sir".

  • What do guns and millennials have in common?

    You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered.

  • What Do You Call Giving a Dutch Guy a Gun?

    Armin Van Buren.

  • What, over in ten seconds?

    Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

  • What, over in 6 seconds?

    No, with 8 black men and a gun."

  • What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer?

    mainly SMALL ARMS.

  • Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

    In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

  • What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

    The gun has only one trigger

  • What do churches and guns have in common?

    They both go PEW PEW PEW

  • Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side?

    So their hats are right side up when they go to aim.

  • What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

    Oh shoot, I forgot...