Halloween Jokes
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Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?
Because Dec 25 = Oct 31
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What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
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Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ?
It was for 'tick or tweet' !
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Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?
Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)
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Why can't witches get pregnant?
Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25
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Why didn't the skeleton go for the halloween party ?
He had "No body " to go with.
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Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?
Because there is lots of school spirit!
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Who turns the lights off at halloween ?
The light's witch !
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Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?
They're used to people 'goblin' them!
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Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana.
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What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?
What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A "booquet" of flower.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party?
Let's get sheet-faced!
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What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?
Because they like to pump kin.
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Why was the ghost sad on Halloween?
He ain't have no boo
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Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?
Most weddings happen in June.
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Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his little sister.
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What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?
Happy halloweenie
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What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?
Pump-Kin
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What spell does harry Potter use on halloween?
Spoopify
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Where were you on Friday?
Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...
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What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?
Hallowieners!
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What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?
A Ghost Pepper.
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Why was the ghost late to the halloween party?
He had to take a sheet.
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Why do pigs love Halloween?
There's lots of hogsgobblin.
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What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
An amoeboo!
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What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke?
Booooooo, Booooooo
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Why is SAE not that racist?
Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!
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What did the really ugly man do for a living ?
He posed for Halloween masks !
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What do cows say on Halloween?
Still moo.
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Why doesn't India celebrate halloween?
No Gandhi
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What did the ghost say when he got to the halloween party?
Im here for the boos.
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Why did Blacula get kicked out of a Yale Halloween party?
The party was for "Wights only."
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What can I do about it?
Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.
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What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.
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What drink do you have on Halloween?
Mali-BOO
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What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick-or-tweet!"
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What is Beethoven doing in his grave?
He's de-composing ! Happy Halloween everyone.
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Why didn't the homophobe decorate his house for Halloween?
Because his skeleton was in the closet
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Why do witches go commando when riding around on their brooms?
Better grip. Happy Halloween :)
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Why does Barbie like Halloween?
It's pump-ken time
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How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?
pumpkin
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How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
Take a snorkel.
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What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween?
As John Cena because you can't see them.
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Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?
He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.
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What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?
Mash-scara!
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What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?
Lots a candy.
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What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween?
A: Dead.
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What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?
Pump kin.
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What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets.
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What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday?
Halloween Halloween Halloween!
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Why doesn't the KKK like Halloween?
Too many spooks.
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How do zombies celebrate Halloween?
They paint the town dead!
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What do rednecks do on Halloween?
They pump kin.
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What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?
The cat ate her.
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What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?
Wrap music
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Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia?
It gives them an opportunity to .
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Why do redneck men enjoy Halloween so much?
They love to pump kin.
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Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?
So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
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Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?
She identified as pump-kin.
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What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
A ghoul Yule!
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Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because Oct31 = Dec25
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What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?
Only two more sleeps till Christmas!
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What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day?
The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?
I'll be Bach
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Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?
Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors
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Why is Halloween a crackheads' favourite holiday?
Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!
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Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin
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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.
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How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?
The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK
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Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party?
He didn't have the guts
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What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
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What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?
I'll be Bach.
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Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?
Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.
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What was the Islamic Star Wars fan for Halloween?
Hijabba the Hut
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Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween?
Galapaghost Islands.
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What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?
Depressed
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Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?
Nobody. He was too 'Freud.
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What do you call a place monks go for Halloween?
A monascary
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Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?
Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...
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Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?
Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
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What do Hutterites do on Halloween?
Pump-kin
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Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 is Dec 25
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What is an engineer's favorite Halloween candy?
Dork chocolate
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How do red necks celebrate Halloween?
Pump kin
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What does a redneck do on Halloween?
Pumpkin
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What's a scary costume for Halloween?
College tuition
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What do fishermen say on Halloween?
Trick-or-trout!"
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Why did the young ghost leave the party?
Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!
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What do ghosts drink for Halloween?
BOOOOZE!
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What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?
My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."
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What are you going to be for Halloween dad?
me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad
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What is a black mans favorite Halloween costume?
Robbin Hood
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What do hillbillies do on halloween?
Pump-Kin
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Why do meth heads love Halloween?
Three sleeps 'till Christmas!
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What are you gonna be for halloween?
Me: Drunk!
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Why are informaticians always confusing the dates of christmas and halloween?
Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.