Halloween Jokes

  • Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

    Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

  • What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?


  • Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ?

    It was for 'tick or tweet' !

  • Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

    Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

  • Why can't witches get pregnant?

    Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!

  • Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

    Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

  • Why didn't the skeleton go for the halloween party ?

    He had "No body " to go with.

  • Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

    Because there is lots of school spirit!

  • Who turns the lights off at halloween ?

    The light's witch !

  • Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?

    They're used to people 'goblin' them!

  • Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?

    He was going as a banana.

  • What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

    What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween? A "booquet" of flower.

  • What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party?

    Let's get sheet-faced!

  • What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

    Because they like to pump kin.

  • Why was the ghost sad on Halloween?

    He ain't have no boo

  • Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

    Most weddings happen in June.

  • Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?

    Because he just came to pick up his little sister.

  • What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

    Happy halloweenie

  • What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?


  • What spell does harry Potter use on halloween?


  • Where were you on Friday?

    Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

  • What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?


  • What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?

    A Ghost Pepper.

  • Why was the ghost late to the halloween party?

    He had to take a sheet.

  • Why do pigs love Halloween?

    There's lots of hogsgobblin.

  • What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

    An amoeboo!

  • What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke?

    Booooooo, Booooooo

  • Why is SAE not that racist?

    Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!

  • What did the really ugly man do for a living ?

    He posed for Halloween masks !

  • What do cows say on Halloween?

    Still moo.

  • Why doesn't India celebrate halloween?

    No Gandhi

  • What did the ghost say when he got to the halloween party?

    Im here for the boos.

  • Why did Blacula get kicked out of a Yale Halloween party?

    The party was for "Wights only."

  • What can I do about it?

    Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.

  • What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

    They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

  • What drink do you have on Halloween?


  • What do birds say on Halloween?


  • What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

    He's de-composing ! Happy Halloween everyone.

  • Why didn't the homophobe decorate his house for Halloween?

    Because his skeleton was in the closet

  • Why do witches go commando when riding around on their brooms?

    Better grip. Happy Halloween :)

  • Why does Barbie like Halloween?

    It's pump-ken time

  • How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?


  • How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

    Take a snorkel.

  • What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween?

    As John Cena because you can't see them.

  • Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?

    He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.

  • What kind of make up was the girl wearing on Halloween?


  • What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

    Lots a candy.

  • What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween?

    A: Dead.

  • What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween?

    Pump kin.

  • What do birds give out on Halloween?

    A: Tweets.

  • What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday?

    Halloween Halloween Halloween!

  • Why doesn't the KKK like Halloween?

    Too many spooks.

  • How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

    They paint the town dead!

  • What do rednecks do on Halloween?

    They pump kin.

  • What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?

    The cat ate her.

  • What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

    Wrap music

  • Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia?

    It gives them an opportunity to .

  • Why do redneck men enjoy Halloween so much?

    They love to pump kin.

  • Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

    So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

  • Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

    She identified as pump-kin.

  • What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?

    A ghoul Yule!

  • Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

    Because Oct31 = Dec25

  • What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

    Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

  • What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day?

    The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!

  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

    I'll be Bach

  • Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

    Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

  • Why is Halloween a crackheads' favourite holiday?

    Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!

  • Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?

    Because everyone was a goblin

  • Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

    Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

  • How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

    The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

  • Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party?

    He didn't have the guts

  • What do birds give out on Halloween?


  • What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?

    I'll be Bach.

  • Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

    Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

  • What was the Islamic Star Wars fan for Halloween?

    Hijabba the Hut

  • Where is the best place to vacation for Halloween?

    Galapaghost Islands.

  • What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?


  • Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

    Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

  • What do you call a place monks go for Halloween?

    A monascary

  • Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

    Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...

  • Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

    Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

  • What do Hutterites do on Halloween?


  • Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

    Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

  • What is an engineer's favorite Halloween candy?

    Dork chocolate

  • How do red necks celebrate Halloween?

    Pump kin

  • What does a redneck do on Halloween?


  • What's a scary costume for Halloween?

    College tuition

  • What do fishermen say on Halloween?


  • Why did the young ghost leave the party?

    Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

  • What do ghosts drink for Halloween?


  • What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

    My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."

  • What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

    me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

  • What is a black mans favorite Halloween costume?

    Robbin Hood

  • What do hillbillies do on halloween?


  • Why do meth heads love Halloween?

    Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

  • What are you gonna be for halloween?

    Me: Drunk!

  • Why are informaticians always confusing the dates of christmas and halloween?

    Because OCT 31 is the same as DEC 25.