Harry Potter Jokes
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What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?
Expecto-Patron-On-Ice
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Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?
Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan
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Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies?
Because they lactate.
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What spell does harry Potter use on halloween?
Spoopify
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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?
Santa would never free an elf.
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What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter?
8008132
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How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?
They all dress like Dobby.
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Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?
Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick.
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What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?
I expect to Potter-own 'em.
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Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?
Because they were only a quideach
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Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter?
Me 5: Me: Get some coffee
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Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?
Because his parents are vegetables.
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What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?
Tobaccio
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Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison?
Because he catches all the snitches!
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What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?
Nine and three quarters.
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What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?
Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.
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Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?
Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch
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What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?
Post on Sundays.
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What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?
Quidditching
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What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?
A Harry Potter
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How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?
Diagon alley
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What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar?
I Expectsum Patronum
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Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?
Because he expecto'd Petronas.
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What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?
Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.
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What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?
Walking JK, Rolling.
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What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?
Shirley you can't be Sirius.
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How did Harry Potter cross the road?
Walking Jk rolling
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Why do so many people like Harry Potter?
It's a charming story.
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Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?
She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.
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What's the loudest thing in the last two Harry Potter films?
Deaf Lee's "HELLO!"
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What did Harry Potter name his daughter?
Harry Daughter.
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What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?
Hogwarts!
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How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter?
9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*
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Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?
Because they have a quidditch.
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How does the author of harry potter descend a mountain?
On foot, how else? JK Rowling
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How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
By walking...... JK Rowling
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Why is Harry Potter so popular?
The story grows on you.
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Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?
A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!
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How does Harry Potter travel about?
Walking -Jk Rolling
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What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?
Walking....J.K . Rowling
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How do Harry Potter fans flirt?
Hey baby, mind if I ? ;)
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What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill?
Running . . . JK! Rolling
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Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking... JK Rolling
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What does Harry Potter do when he gets Ginny Pregnant?
Cast Fetus Deletus.
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What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?
Ouch! I Hermione!"
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Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?
Because they're both cauldron
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What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions?
You're a lizard Harry!"
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How does Harry Potter do web design?
Inspecto Elemento