Helen Keller Jokes
-
Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?
Because she used the other to sing
-
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
Glue doorknobs to the walls.
-
What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?
Nothing, she had her mittens on.
-
Where would Helen Keller park her car?
On top of three children.
-
Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?
She had mittens on.
-
What was Helen Keller's favourite colour?
Corduroy.
-
Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver?
She's dead.
-
Why is Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog is also blind
-
What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?
That was the most violent book I've ever read.
-
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
-
How do you surprise Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet
-
What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?
Endless love
-
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a cliff?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
-
Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?
So people can read her lips.
-
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy!
-
Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?
Because she was a woman
-
Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other XD
-
How did Helen Keller break her arms?
She tried to read a road sign going 45mph
-
Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?
She sings with the other hand.
-
What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
-
What did Helen Keller say when she picked up a cheese grater?
That was the most violent book I've ever read..........
-
Why wouldn't they let Helen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman
-
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
-
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips!
-
What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?
I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
-
Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other.
-
How did Helen Keller lose her arm?
Trying to read the road signs!!!
-
What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash?
Jergen's lotion.
-
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman
-
Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?
She needs the other to moan.
-
Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens
-
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet.
-
Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?
Because she's dead.
-
Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?
Because she uses the other one to sing.
-
How did Helen Keller burn her face?
She answered the waffle iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back.
-
Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
She was a woman.
-
Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?
She was running out of things to read.
-
Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver?
Because she was a woman
-
What did Helen Keller name her dog?
akjnveoajknoea
-
What did Helen Keller say when she won the lottery?
uunnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!
-
Why is helen keller a bad driver?
Because she's dead
-
How did Helen Keller break her arm?
She broke it trying to read the road signs.
-
Why did Helen Keller scream?
Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.
-
What did Helen Keller call her dog?
ltsmashes keyboard>
-
What was Helen Keller's dog's name?
Uuuuuueeeeuuuuhhhh!!!
-
What's red, white, and full of holes?
Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.
-
Why did Helen Keller try lsd?
Because she was told it makes you see things!
-
What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?
Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.
-
Why couldn't Helen Keller vote?
She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.
-
Why would Helen Keller be a horrible driver?
Because she's dead.
-
How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
She left a plunger in the toilet
-
What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?
That's the worst book I ever read.
-
What does Helen Keller call her dog?
Nothing. She's dead.
-
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was WARRGELBLAFFENGAR!!!!!
-
How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!
-
Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
Cause she was a woman
-
Who is Nickelback's biggest fan?
Helen Keller.
-
What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
-
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her mom rearranged the living room
-
How did Helen Keller break her hands?
Reading road signs at 30 MPH
-
How do you confuse Helen Keller?
You tell her to read a basketball.
-
Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?
Because she's dead.
-
How do you make Helen Keller cry?
Turn the stool upside-down
-
How do her parents punish Helen Keller?
By leaving the plunger in the toilet.
-
Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?
Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
-
What did Helen Keller's friend say to her?
offensive) You should try blind dating.
-
What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.