Hippie Jokes
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What would my hippie side be doing right now?
I already know that
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What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?
Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.
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What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?
Mello Yellow
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How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags.
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How do you stop a hippie from drowning?
Take your combat boot off his head.
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Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?
He was way to high, man.
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What do a redneck and hippie have in common?
They both hate the government.
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What do you call a hippie with a business major?
A Hippie-crite.
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How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house?
He's still there.
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Why do hippies wear corduroy?
It's groovy!
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Why do hippies wear pachouli??
So blind people can hate them to
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What do you call a hippie that can't cook?
Burning ham!
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What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?
Hey dude, you're outta sight!
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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
He was too far out, man.
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Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.
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What career choice to hippies usually pick?
Chemistry, because there is lots of acid involved.
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Why aren't hippies good pitchers?
Because they're always high and outside.
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How do you make the hippie run out of money?
You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap.
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How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house?
He's still there.
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How do you know if hippies have been in your house?
They are still there.
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Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?
Cause it's far out, man
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How do you get a hippie off your door step?
Pay for the pizza and close the door.
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Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator?
He liked cold cash.
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How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?
Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.
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How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?
Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."
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How do you hide money from a hippie?
Put it under the soap.
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What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?
Namaste
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What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch?
Namaste
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What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?
He was far out man. --
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Why do hippies like corduroy?
Because the material is so groovy.
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What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?
Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot
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How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?
He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
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How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.
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What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party?
Namaste.
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Why did the hippie drown in the ocean?
He was too far out.
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Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?
I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.
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Why did god invent patchouli?
So blind people can hate hippies too.
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What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?
Namaste.
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Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?
Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss
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What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?
Namaste
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Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?
Because it was Far Out!
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What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?
Namaste (better to say it aloud)
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What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies?
Fire.
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What dance do hippies hate?
A square dance.
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What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?
Yours.
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Why are hippies against capitalism?
Because money doesn't grow on trees.
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What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?
They're all, like, equal to me...
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Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo?
It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree.
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What's dumber than a box of rocks?
The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks
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What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?
Namast (nah-ima-stay)
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What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?
Nah, I'm-a stay.
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How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in tents.
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What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?
Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)
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How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?
He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"
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Why do hippies wear patchouli?
So blind people can hate them, too.
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How do you know if a hippie was at your house?
He's still there.
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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
He was too far out.