Hope Jokes
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What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
The nun has hope in her soul!
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What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?
Hey, I think he moved.
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What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?
The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.
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What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?
The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.
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How do you get rid of somebody?
Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!
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What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?
One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.
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What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?
To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.
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How bad is the economy?
Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.
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What do horses hope for on election day?
A stable economy
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What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?
The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure.
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What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub?
The girl in church has hope in her soul
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What were you before you came to school boys and girls?
asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"
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What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?
One has hope in her soul...
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What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?
Hope you fell better tomorrow.
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How does a SQL expert get a date?
getDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)
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What should you do if you see a vicious dog?
Hope he doesn't see you.
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What is the difference between Windows and the US Goverment?
There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.
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Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
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What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?
Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.
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What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath?
One has hope in her soul...
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What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?
a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.
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What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?
The lady in church has hope in her soul.
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How is marriage and CPR training the same?
You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again
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What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?
One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole
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What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole.
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What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?
Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole.
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What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
I don't know but you'd better hope he likes it!
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What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?
One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here
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What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?
His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!
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What's the best part about living in a black family?
You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost
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How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)
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What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?
A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)
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Why did I rob the bank?
For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.
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Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope?
Pluto.
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What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?
Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.
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What is the most mysterious cheese?
I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!
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What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box?
I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.
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What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?
The girl in church has her soul full of hope...
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What do you call a person who has lost all hope?
A: Linus
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What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?
The woman in church has hope in her soul.
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What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?
Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)
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What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?
A glimmer of hope
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How do you make a Whiskey Sour?
Crush it's hopes and dreams.
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What do you call a midget fortune-teller who's on the run from the law?
A small medium at large.** (Hope this doesn't get posted often)
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Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?
They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.
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What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?
He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.
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What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?
One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole
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What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?
The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!
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What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub?
One has hope in her soul...
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Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?
Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!
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Why did the geologist's wife leave him?
He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)
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What is Reddits favorite country?
Chi-LE!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend came up with that one hope u guys love it as much as I do!!!!! :)
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Where are they going to take me?
I hope its somewhere good
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What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?
Hope you're ready for the next episode
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What do you call a beach with crooked waves?
OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)
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What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?
They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.
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What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?
Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)
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What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?
A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.