Hospital Jokes
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What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse?
A: I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!
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What did the chicken say ?
What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.
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What's The Difference Between Larry Hogan And An Iraqi Child?
Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.
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Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
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Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?
Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!
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What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?
If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.
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Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital?
A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude.
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Who's the coolest guy at the hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
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What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital?
the I see you.
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What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?
An Oncologist
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Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals?
Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away.
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What did they call Glenn Frey when he was in the hospital?
An Illeagle
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What part of a hospital does an abortion patient avoid?
The right wing
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Why did the dog go to the hospital?
He was feeling ruff.
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What part of the hospital does John Cena hate the most?
the ICU
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Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital?
Because he was so full of himself.
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Who's the friendliest person at the hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
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How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?
Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.
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Who is the coolest guy in a hospital. The ultra sound guy. Whos the coolest when he is off?
The hip replacement guy. /dad
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How did the pig get to the hospital?
in a hambulance.
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Why do asians got to the hospital after voting?
Everyone knows that you should see a doctor for an erection that last longer than 4 hours.
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What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?
A sturgeon.
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What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?
An Anne-Boleyn-ce.
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Where does he go next?
The hospital. Why does he go to the hospital For Alcohol poisoning
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Why has there never been an Asian president?
Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours
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Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital?
Doctor Dolittle
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Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?
They found traces of Mercury in him.
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Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital?
Because the stock broker!
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What do you call the nicest guy in the hospital?
The Ultra-sound guy..... Who covers him when he's not available The hip replacement guy!
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Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?
He had a staff infection...
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What do you call a Spanish man who has just got out of hospital?
Manuel...
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What vehicle do bicycle riders take to the hospital?
An Ambulance Armstrong
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What was the atmosphere like in the silent wooden part of a hospital?
It was an oakward experience.
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What take out food should you avoid at all costs in Hospital?
Donor Kebab
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Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?
A. The Ultrasound Guy
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How can you tell who's the head nurse at a hospital?
It's the one who has knee pads on.
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Why did the monster go into hospital?
To have his ghoul-stones removed.
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How awesome were the 50s?
None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.
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What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?
Oy vey!"
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Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?
He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)
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How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse at a hospital?
She's the one with the dirty knees.
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What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital?
ICU
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Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?
The hospital ran all out of patience
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What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
The ICU (I-see-you!)
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well.
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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?
If one bit you you could ride it to hospital !
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Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
The ultrasound people.!! lol
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Why did the man bring his bed with him to the hospital?
It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate.
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What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital?
Impatient OC from r/dadjokes
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Why'd the cookie go to the hospital?
It was feeling a little crumby.
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Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?
I dunno I just fly the drone.....
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Where is the worst place to play hide and seek in a hospital?
In the I.C.U.
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Who is the coolest person in the hospital?
The ultrasound man.
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Why did the cat go to the hospital?
A: To have a CAT scan done.
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How do pigs gets to hospital?
In a hambulance
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Who's the nicest guy at the hospital?
The ultrasound guy
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Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed.
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Who is the coolest guy at the hospital?
The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick The hip replacement guy.
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Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?
Because at any moment they could bleet out
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How do crabs leave the hospital?
On crotches...
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Why did the french geologist have to go to the hospital?
He had Gaul stones.
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What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital?
A midwife crisis.
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What's worse than being uncomfortable at the hospital?
Being made comfortable.
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What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.
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Why was the peanut rushed to the hospital?
He was a"salted"
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Whos the coolest guy in hospital?
The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy
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What would happen if black widow spiders were as big as horses?
A: If one bit you, you could ride it to the hospital.
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Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
In the ICU.
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Who's the most popular guy in the hospital?
The Ultra Sound guy. Who is it when he's not there? The Hip Replacement guy.
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Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?
Bernard pushed him under a truck...