Ice Jokes
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What does batman take in his whiskey?
Just ice.
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What do magistrates have with their water?
Just ice.
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What can be found in a Judge's freezer?
Just ice.
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What did the judge order in his whiskey?
Just ice
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What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?
Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)
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What does Batman put in his drink?
Just ice
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What does Batman put in his drinks?
Just ice.
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Why did Batman go to the corner store?
FOR JUST ICE
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Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ?
Banana split so ice creamed !
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What does Batman like in his lemonade?
Just ice.
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Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?
Because icing is not allowed.
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Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?
He knew they were going to ice him.
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What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?
For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.
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Why does Harambe confuse bartenders?
All he wants is Just Ice
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How old do I look?
9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any
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Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.
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How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?
Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.
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How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?
You add ices.
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What does batman add to his tea?
Just ice.
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How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?
I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.
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Why is revenge a dish best served cold?
Because it's just-ice
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How do you drown a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?
A Popsicle.
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What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?
The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.
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Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?
Neither. It's a Thai.
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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ?
It lives on ice !
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What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?
An ice Kareem clone
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What are you looking for!?
Just-ice!"
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What does batman like adding to his drinks?
JUST-ICE
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What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?
I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off
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What Metallica song does Captain America hate?
Trapped Under Ice.
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?
polar-oids
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What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?
Just-ice
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Why are penguins socially awkward?
Because they can't break the ice.
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Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?
He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it
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What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?
Franchicing
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Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !
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What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?
Both are a glaze
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What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?
They've both got ice on the inside.
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How much does the average introvert weigh?
Not enough to break the ice.
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What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?
Polaroids! I'm so bored...
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Who's driving ?
Immigration. (ICE)
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What drink can I get you?
Just ice for Harambe"
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What color is ice?
Hielo.
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What can I get you today?
Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.
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What does Batman take with his drinks?
Just ice
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What the hell is an Ovechkin?
The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"
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What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?
Why don't you try icing it
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Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?
Because he had been told to ice it.
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What is the difference between ice and dry ice ?
Dry ice lacks of water.
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What is a terrorists favourite dessert?
Ice is
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What if aliens are responsible for global warming?
And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
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What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play?
Don't Break the Ice
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What does batman take in his beverages?
just...ice.
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Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles?
Because he wanted just ice.
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What can I get you ?
Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.
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What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?
Ice is.
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How do Super Heroes like their drinks served?
WITH JUST ICE!
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Why do you have to nuke siberia twice?
The first one is just to break the ice.
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How do you get a polar bear in the water?
First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!
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What do you say to a fig on ice?
Fig u're skating
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What did the eskimo say when her water broke?
Oh no, my ice cracked!
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What does Batman like with his whiskey?
Gravely voice) "Just ice."
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What will you be having to drink?
Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.
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What does a Polish guy do on the ice?
He breaks in.
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What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?
Ice-is I'll show myself out.
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What will you be drinking?
Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.
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How do you put a condom on a elephant?
You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.
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What did water say when ice farted?
Ice melt it.
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Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?
The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.
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What kind of money do snowmen use?
Iced lolly.
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What did the police officer want from the criminal store?
Just ice.
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Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?
For the Halibut
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
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What does Batman get in his drink?
Just Ice
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How does batman order his iced water?
Can I get that..Just ice"
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
A. Polaroids.
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What does Batman put in his beverages?
Just ice.
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Why do Norse gods never ice skate?
Because the ice always Thors.
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What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?
Expecto-Patron-On-Ice