Ice Jokes

  • What does batman take in his whiskey?

    Just ice.

  • What do magistrates have with their water?

    Just ice.

  • What can be found in a Judge's freezer?

    Just ice.

  • What did the judge order in his whiskey?

    Just ice

  • What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?

    Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)

  • What does Batman put in his drink?

    Just ice

  • What does Batman put in his drinks?

    Just ice.

  • Why did Batman go to the corner store?


  • Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ?

    Banana split so ice creamed !

  • What does Batman like in his lemonade?

    Just ice.

  • Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

    Because icing is not allowed.

  • Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

    He knew they were going to ice him.

  • What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

    For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

  • Why does Harambe confuse bartenders?

    All he wants is Just Ice

  • How old do I look?

    9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

  • Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?

    A: To keep the swelling down.

  • How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?

    Four. One to cut the hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

  • How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink?

    You add ices.

  • What does batman add to his tea?

    Just ice.

  • How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

    I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

  • Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

    Because it's just-ice

  • How do you drown a polar bear?

    Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

  • What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

    A Popsicle.

  • What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

    The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

  • Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

    Neither. It's a Thai.

  • Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ?

    It lives on ice !

  • What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

    An ice Kareem clone

  • What are you looking for!?


  • What does batman like adding to his drinks?


  • What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

    I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

  • What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

    Trapped Under Ice.

  • What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?


  • What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?


  • Why are penguins socially awkward?

    Because they can't break the ice.

  • Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

    He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

  • What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?


  • Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?

    Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !

  • What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

    Both are a glaze

  • What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?

    They've both got ice on the inside.

  • How much does the average introvert weigh?

    Not enough to break the ice.

  • What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

    Polaroids! I'm so bored...

  • Who's driving ?

    Immigration. (ICE)

  • What drink can I get you?

    Just ice for Harambe"

  • What color is ice?


  • What can I get you today?

    Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

  • What does Batman take with his drinks?

    Just ice

  • What the hell is an Ovechkin?

    The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

  • What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man?

    Why don't you try icing it

  • Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?

    Because he had been told to ice it.

  • What is the difference between ice and dry ice ?

    Dry ice lacks of water.

  • What is a terrorists favourite dessert?

    Ice is

  • What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

    And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

  • What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play?

    Don't Break the Ice

  • What does batman take in his beverages?

  • Why did batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

    Because he wanted just ice.

  • What can I get you ?

    Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

  • What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?

    Ice is.

  • How do Super Heroes like their drinks served?


  • Why do you have to nuke siberia twice?

    The first one is just to break the ice.

  • How do you get a polar bear in the water?

    First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

  • What do you say to a fig on ice?

    Fig u're skating

  • What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

    Oh no, my ice cracked!

  • What does Batman like with his whiskey?

    Gravely voice) "Just ice."

  • What will you be having to drink?

    Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

  • What does a Polish guy do on the ice?

    He breaks in.

  • What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?

    Ice-is I'll show myself out.

  • What will you be drinking?

    Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.

  • How do you put a condom on a elephant?

    You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

  • What did water say when ice farted?

    Ice melt it.

  • Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

    The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

  • What kind of money do snowmen use?

    Iced lolly.

  • What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

    Just ice.

  • Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

    For the Halibut

  • What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?


  • What does Batman get in his drink?

    Just Ice

  • How does batman order his iced water?

    Can I get that..Just ice"

  • What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?

    A. Polaroids.

  • What does Batman put in his beverages?

    Just ice.

  • Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

    Because the ice always Thors.

  • What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?