Idiot Jokes

  • How does an idiot call for his dog?

    He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

  • Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

    There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

  • What do a burnt pizza and a baby have in common?

    Some idiot pulled it out to late

  • What did the banana say to the apple?

    Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot.

  • What is one of the funniest simple joke you have ever heard?

    Literally... made you die laughing e.g. Why did the monkey fall of the tree bc it died e.g. How do you keep an idiot in suspense

  • Where do idiots go on holiday?


  • How do you keep a idiot occupied?

    I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer.

  • Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ?

    So he could tell the time at night !

  • How do you confuse an idiot?

    Banana cake!

  • Why do men act like idiots?

    Who says they're acting

  • How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

    What an Idiot.

  • What Did The Idiot's Friend Say To The Other Idiot's Friend, After The Idiot Lit Herself On Fire?

    She's Bright...

  • How do you keep idiots waiting?

    I'll tell you later

  • How do you make an idiot easily wait ?

    I tell you tomorrow.

  • What do you call an idiot?


  • What are you doing, idiot?

    me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

  • What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil?

    One's a fruit, you idiot.

  • How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

    I'll tell you tomorrow.

  • When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

    Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

  • How can you tell when an idiot's depressed?

    Go stand in front of a mirror

  • How do you keep an idiot busy for 3500 years?

    Give them a bible

  • How to spot an idiot at the gym?

    They put a water bottle where the Pringles go.

  • What did the banana say to the human?

    Nothing you idiot, bananas don't talk!

  • What did the idiot do after seeing a joke that wasn't very funny?

    Downvote it.

  • How to make an idiot curious?

    I'll post the answer tomorrow.

  • What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?

    An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier.

  • How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

    Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder

  • What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

    You will get burned, you idiot.

  • Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

    Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

  • How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Change it to what

  • Who is that Idiot..?

    If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

  • Why did the chicken knock knock?

    Q - Why did the chicken cross the road? A - To see the idiot across the street. Q - Knock knock. (Who's there?) A - The chicken.

  • Why did the idiot stare at a carton of orange juice?

    It said 'concentrate' on it

  • How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?

    Click here to find out the answer.(

  • When you realise your friend is an idiot" Stories!?

    Hey guys, I just recently found out that my friend is an idiot. I was talking with him on Facebook and I was telling him about this game that was free online, and he says "I'm on my way to see my girlfriend". I'm sorry but WHAT? well I have a fish tank. Feel free to comment down below your stories about how you realised your friend is an idiot.

  • How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?

    A: Flattered.

  • Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?

    He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

  • What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

    Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

  • Why does Batman wear a mask?

    Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

  • How do you keep a idiot waiting?

    I'll tell you guys later.

  • Why do you think people hate us so much?

    Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

  • Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?

    A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

  • What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?

    Shot it!

  • Which perfume do you use ?

    It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

  • How do you make an idiot think he's a duck?

    Tell him he's a duck.

  • What do you call a group of Idiots?


  • How bad is it, Doctor?

    Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot

  • What idiot invented fire blankets?

    You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames.

  • How do you keep an Idiot occupied?

    Click here to find out(

  • Which color confuses an idiot?


  • What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch?

    A cuckoo clock.

  • What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

    Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

  • How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots.

  • How do you start a conversation with a bunch of idiots?


  • Why are there no cats on Mars?

    Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

  • How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

    He fell out of the tree.

  • What would the name on the cat's bowl be?

    It would be 'Bowl' and all of your friends would leave you because you are an idiot and named your cat Bowl.

  • What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend?

    Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me Edit: I'm an idiot

  • What are you an idiot?

    Redneck: "Why is it required "

  • How do you keep an idiot with RES busy?


  • How do you excite an idiot?

    I'll tell you later.

  • How do you keep an idiot busy?


  • What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

    I don't even wanna talk to the living.