Internet Jokes

  • What did the feminist say when she saw a guy laughing at her picture on the Internet?

    Topical meme."

  • How do people look at the internet?

    Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

  • What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

    Danke Memes

  • How do people see so much on internet these days?

    They put on the Google!

  • What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet?

    A digimon.

  • What do you call a bowl on the internet?

    Ebola

  • What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet?

    Pupvotes

  • How do I big it?

    Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

  • What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

    Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

  • Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

    There are too many Links.

  • How are you getting on with the Internet?

    Surf far so good.

  • What's more annoying on the internet, a troll or spam?

    Your mom!

  • Why don't they have phone books in China?

    Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

  • How do I find answers using Google.com?

    on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

  • Who is the oldest singer on the Internet?

    Click Jagger.

  • When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

    The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

  • What goes round the middle of the Internet?

    The e-quator.

  • How does a sea urchin search the internet?

    sea urchingine

  • What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

    May the force e-with you.

  • Why was the Redditors jokes so unoriginal?

    Because he Reddit off the internet.

  • What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

    removed

  • What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?

    The Site-anic.

  • Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet?

    Because the ends justify the memes

  • What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

    He Reddit.

  • Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

    Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

  • What did they call Ebola before the Internet?

    Bola

  • Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet?

    Har e-potter.

  • What's the difference between fighting on the internet and participating in the paralympics?

    None, even if you win, you're still retarded.

  • How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

    InterNEIN"

  • What do frogs say that surf the internet?

    Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)

  • How do you catch a runaway laptop?

    With an Internet.

  • Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

    Click Whittington

  • What's the difference between most complex life forms, and the internet?

    Most complex life forms are a tube within a tube, and the internet is more like a series of tubes.

  • Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

    To bone up on his schoolwork.

  • How do you make rude noises on the Internet?

    With a whoop e-cushion.

  • Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

    Because they can't stop saving their work.

  • How did the flea learn to use the internet?

    He had to start from scratch.

  • Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

    He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

  • Why did the knight stop using the internet?

    Because he was sick of chainmail.

  • How do trees access the internet?

    They log on

  • How about anonymous white people arguing with one another viciously on the internet?

    Has that been tried yet

  • What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

    Elizabeth.

  • How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

    You reddit.

  • Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

    He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

  • How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

    Use a starch engine.

  • How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet?

    20 Watts

  • Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?

    Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e.

  • How did pirates communicate before the internet?

    Pier to Pier Networking

  • What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

    DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

  • What do Germans look at on the internet?

    Danke memes

  • What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

    P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

  • What was the internet like in the old days?

    Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

  • What can't I find on the internet?

    My keys

  • How do we not know what women want yet?

    There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

  • What's the most annoying thing in the internet?

    People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.

  • What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread?

    Spotted click

  • What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

    Reddish.

  • Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

    They like to stay anony-moose

  • Why did North Korea lose Internet?

    Because they switched to Comcast.

  • Who's the chief of the internet?

    E-ronimo!

  • How does the vicar explore the Internet?

    With the church mouse.

  • Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet?

    The second page of a youtube search.

  • How do you call a dog that likes to be on the Internet?

    A Labragoogle.

  • What is it called when you get sick from gaming on the internet?

    YouTuberculosis.

  • Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

    They never want to log off.

  • Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?

    Andrew Lloyd Webber.

  • What do you call a ghost on the Internet?

    e-erie.

  • What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

    Oh give it arrest.

  • When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

    We were thankful.

  • Who currently provides your Internet?

    he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

  • What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

    e-reptile dysfunction

  • How do the trees get on the internet?

    They log on.

  • What surfs the Internet and goes 'Choo Choo'?

    Thomas the Search Engine.

  • Where do you go to get a burger on the internet?

    McDownloads!

  • How did Al Gore invent the Internet?

    With Al-Gore-rithims

  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

    I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

  • How does a tree access the internet?

    It logs on.

  • Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

    He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

  • What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

  • Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

    No connection

  • What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

    If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

  • How do chinese people laugh over the internet?

    Lmao Zedong

  • What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

    Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

  • Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

    Isn't this using the internet backwards

  • What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?

    e-t.

  • Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

    Will-e. Shakespeare.

  • What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

    Salt

  • What are the four elements?

    Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.