Jail Jokes
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What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?
Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.
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Why did the painting go to jail?
It was framed.
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Why Did The Vulcanologist Go To Jail?
Because he, basalt-ed someone. Ba
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Why was the belt thrown in jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
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Why are all blacks fast?
A: The slow ones are in jail.
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What do you call a five foot psychic that escapes from jail?
A small medium at large.
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Why did the pigeon get thrown in jail?
For staging a coo
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What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of jail?
A small medium at large
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What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?
Small medium at large.
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Why did the electron go to jail?
He was charged with battery!
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What is black and in jail?
A black man who committed a crime.
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What did the policeman say when the Arabic man escaped from jail?
GOTTA CATCH JAMAL
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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
Jail break.
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Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail?
He couldn't finish his sentence.
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Why don't you see any slow black people?
They're all in jail.
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Why was the baby put in jail?
For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat
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Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?
In a high pressure cell
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What do you call a short physic that has escaped from jail?
A small medium at large
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What is the scariest thing about a white man in jail?
you know he did it.
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What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers?
One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.
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Why did a pile of gravel go to jail?
aggregated basalt
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What stars go to jail?
Shooting stars.
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What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.
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Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?
So he could break out.
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Why did the clam go to jail?
For setting up illegal shell companies!
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Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?
Because they finish each other's sentences
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How are Jail and Olive Garden Similar?
Free Endless Salad Tossing
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Why did the dragon go to jail for farting?
Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out.
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Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed
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What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of jail?
A small medium at large
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How do you get a horse out of jail?
Hay bail.
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Why did the rope go to jail?
Because he was knotty
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Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?
He got caught giving alcohol to minors.
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Why did the black man try to break into jail?
He wanted to be with his family.
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Why was the lion cub sent to jail?
It was a child predator.
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Why do blacksmiths go to jail?
Forging.
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Why can every black person run so fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.
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Why did the staff party go to jail?
Because they were in treble.
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What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside?
Jail
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What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?
Ryan Locht-up
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What's the most popular game to play in jail?
Smash Brothers
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Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail?
He couldn't pay for Baal
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Why did the ghost go to jail?
He got arrested for possession.
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Why didn't the Middle Eastern man go to jail?
Because hijab his wife, but nobody cared.
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Why don't black people pay rent?
Because jail is free.
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Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?
Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.
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Why did the tree go to jail?
Treason
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Why did the guitar teacher go to jail?
He fingered a minor
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Why did the 3 year old go to jail?
For resisting a rest.
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What did the Black owner of the BMW do to deserve jail?
You mean, black people have to DO something to deserve jail p.s I know I am going dowwwnn for this
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Why did the duck go to jail?
A: He was selling quack.
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What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?
Cell Phones.
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How to spot the toughest guy in jail?
He still has some whistle left in his fart.
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Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail?
Because time was always running out.
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Where's your bin?
A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"
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Why did the dinosaur go to jail?
Because he was a child molester.
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Where does light go to jail?
prism
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Where do most black people work?
In jail
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What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?
Lettuce Go!"
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What do you call a group of environmentalists in jail?
Collared Greens'
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How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?
They exchange cell numbers.
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What did the OCD man get thrown in jail for?
Organized crime.
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Why did the peanut go to jail?
He was a-roasted peanut.
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How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?
If you're a white man, you're free to walk.
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What do you call a house full of black people?
A jail.
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Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?
Because it needs bailing out.
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Why are all black people fast?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
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Why did the goat stop trying to break out of jail?
Because he was just tired of being an escape goat.
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Why did the number one go to jail?
187
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What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?
Jail-birds !
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What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?
I love the pokey, mon.
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What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?
Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"
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What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?
INDIGO!
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Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed?
On charges of battery.
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Why did the green bean go to jail?
He was disturbing the peas.
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What's the best part about golf?
It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.
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Where do lemons go to jail?
Lemonworth
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What happens when you shoot a black man?
You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...
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What do the NFL and Jail have in common?
You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.
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Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?
Because he "pulled a few strings"!
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Where do magical animals go to jail?
Azkabarn
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What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?
A foot long
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Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because he held up a pair of pants!
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Why was the paper man sent to jail?
He was caught rustling.
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Whats the difference between a black guy in jail and a caged birth?
The bird doesn't feel he's home.
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What do you call a dwarf psychic who has escaped jail?
Small medium at large
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Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?
Because he was in-a-cent!