Jail Jokes

  • What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

    Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

  • Why did the painting go to jail?

    It was framed.

  • Why Did The Vulcanologist Go To Jail?

    Because he, basalt-ed someone. Ba

  • Why was the belt thrown in jail?

    A: He held up a pair of pants.

  • Why are all blacks fast?

    A: The slow ones are in jail.

  • What do you call a five foot psychic that escapes from jail?

    A small medium at large.

  • Why did the pigeon get thrown in jail?

    For staging a coo

  • What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of jail?

    A small medium at large

  • What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

    Small medium at large.

  • Why did the electron go to jail?

    He was charged with battery!

  • What is black and in jail?

    A black man who committed a crime.

  • What did the policeman say when the Arabic man escaped from jail?


  • What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?

    Jail break.

  • Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail?

    He couldn't finish his sentence.

  • Why don't you see any slow black people?

    They're all in jail.

  • Why was the baby put in jail?

    For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat

  • Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?

    In a high pressure cell

  • What do you call a short physic that has escaped from jail?

    A small medium at large

  • What is the scariest thing about a white man in jail?

    you know he did it.

  • What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers?

    One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.

  • Why did a pile of gravel go to jail?

    aggregated basalt

  • What stars go to jail?

    Shooting stars.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a man?

    A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.

  • Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?

    So he could break out.

  • Why did the clam go to jail?

    For setting up illegal shell companies!

  • Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

    Because they finish each other's sentences

  • How are Jail and Olive Garden Similar?

    Free Endless Salad Tossing

  • Why did the dragon go to jail for farting?

    Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out.

  • Why did the picture go to jail?

    Because it was framed

  • What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of jail?

    A small medium at large

  • How do you get a horse out of jail?

    Hay bail.

  • Why did the rope go to jail?

    Because he was knotty

  • Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?

    He got caught giving alcohol to minors.

  • Why did the black man try to break into jail?

    He wanted to be with his family.

  • Why was the lion cub sent to jail?

    It was a child predator.

  • Why do blacksmiths go to jail?


  • Why can every black person run so fast?

    Because the slow ones are in jail.

  • Why did the staff party go to jail?

    Because they were in treble.

  • What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside?


  • What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

    Ryan Locht-up

  • What's the most popular game to play in jail?

    Smash Brothers

  • Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail?

    He couldn't pay for Baal

  • Why did the ghost go to jail?

    He got arrested for possession.

  • Why didn't the Middle Eastern man go to jail?

    Because hijab his wife, but nobody cared.

  • Why don't black people pay rent?

    Because jail is free.

  • Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

    Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

  • Why did the tree go to jail?


  • Why did the guitar teacher go to jail?

    He fingered a minor

  • Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

    For resisting a rest.

  • What did the Black owner of the BMW do to deserve jail?

    You mean, black people have to DO something to deserve jail p.s I know I am going dowwwnn for this

  • Why did the duck go to jail?

    A: He was selling quack.

  • What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

    Cell Phones.

  • How to spot the toughest guy in jail?

    He still has some whistle left in his fart.

  • Why couldn't the clock be kept in jail?

    Because time was always running out.

  • Where's your bin?

    A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

  • Why did the dinosaur go to jail?

    Because he was a child molester.

  • Where does light go to jail?


  • Where do most black people work?

    In jail

  • What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

    Lettuce Go!"

  • What do you call a group of environmentalists in jail?

    Collared Greens'

  • How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

    They exchange cell numbers.

  • What did the OCD man get thrown in jail for?

    Organized crime.

  • Why did the peanut go to jail?

    He was a-roasted peanut.

  • How is crossing an intersection like going to jail?

    If you're a white man, you're free to walk.

  • What do you call a house full of black people?

    A jail.

  • Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?

    Because it needs bailing out.

  • Why are all black people fast?

    Because all the slow ones are in jail.

  • Why did the goat stop trying to break out of jail?

    Because he was just tired of being an escape goat.

  • Why did the number one go to jail?


  • What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?

    Jail-birds !

  • What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

    I love the pokey, mon.

  • What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

    Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

  • What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?


  • Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed?

    On charges of battery.

  • Why did the green bean go to jail?

    He was disturbing the peas.

  • What's the best part about golf?

    It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

  • Where do lemons go to jail?


  • What happens when you shoot a black man?

    You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...

  • What do the NFL and Jail have in common?

    You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver.

  • Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

    Because he "pulled a few strings"!

  • Where do magical animals go to jail?


  • What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

    A foot long

  • Why did the belt go to jail?

    A. Because he held up a pair of pants!

  • Why was the paper man sent to jail?

    He was caught rustling.

  • Whats the difference between a black guy in jail and a caged birth?

    The bird doesn't feel he's home.

  • What do you call a dwarf psychic who has escaped jail?

    Small medium at large

  • Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

    Because he was in-a-cent!