Join Jokes
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What happens when a pirate turns 60?
He joins AARP
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Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?
For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
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Why did the King's Justice join Run DMC?
Cuz he be Ilyn.
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What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Join the Hare Force.
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Why did the bird join he air force?
He wanted to be a parrot trooper!
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What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?
He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.
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What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?
I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !
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What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?
When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"
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Why must you be religious to join the Navy?
Because it's a place of war ship.
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What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?
A: A first-aid kit!
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How do witches lose weight?
They join weight witches.
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Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?
They told him he was good at deriving
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How do you get a Cambodian person to join you?
Just shout "Hey, Khmer!"
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What's the difference between a brothel and a circus?
Your mother never ran away to join the circus.
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Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?
He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"
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Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?
He didn't like the phrase fire at will!
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What did "Nock" say to "K"?
You can join us, as long as you stay quiet.
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What is your dream car and why?
Minivan, because the sliding door joining in MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS
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Why did King Kong join the army?
To learn about gorilla warfare.
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Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?
He heard they had PIE.
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Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?
He wanted to speak in tungsten.
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What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?
Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."
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Why did the carpenter join the army?
Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant
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What do you get when Italians join ISIS?
Baked Yazidi
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Bad at golf?
Join the club.
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Why did the book join the police?
He wanted to work undercover.
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What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team?
The High Five
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Why did the pig join the Army?
He heard the food was a mess.
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Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?
They can't hide behind billboards.
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What branch of the military did the hipster join?
The Salvation Army.
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Why did the Turkey join the band?
because he had two Drumsticks.
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Why did the Pasta join a dating website?
Because he was cannelloni.
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Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?
Because he was hydra-phobic.
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Why did they let the chicken join the band?
Because he brought his own drumsticks
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What happens when you join two Koreans together?
Linkin Park.
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Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?
He hates camping
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How do you get Americans to join a World War?
Tell them it's nearly finished.
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Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party?
They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS.
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How do you convince America to join a war?
Tell them its almost over
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What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
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A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...
'Can I join you?'
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Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?
Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.
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Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?
Because they all joined
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What do you get when you slice ice cream?
Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now...
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Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?
A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.
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Why did Hank Hill join an S&M club?
He heard they were Pro-Pain.
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Why do you want to join the Secret Service?
Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."
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Why did I join Twitter?
Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.
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What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?
A StayGosaurus
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Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?
Because all they serve is cold turkey.
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What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
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What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself?
A high-jacker.
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What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?
He bowled long hops !
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Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
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Why did Bill and Ted join Islam?
Because they heard it was radical!
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How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.
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Why did the surfer join ISIS?
Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.
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What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?
The Dark Knightrogen
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What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?
They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.
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What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League?
The Starry Knight
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym?
I'll re-rack.
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What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy?
Slim to nun.