Join Jokes

  • What happens when a pirate turns 60?

    He joins AARP

  • Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

    For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

  • Why did the King's Justice join Run DMC?

    Cuz he be Ilyn.

  • What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?

    Join the Hare Force.

  • Why did the bird join he air force?

    He wanted to be a parrot trooper!

  • What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

    He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

  • What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

    I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

  • What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

    When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

  • Why must you be religious to join the Navy?

    Because it's a place of war ship.

  • What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?

    A: A first-aid kit!

  • How do witches lose weight?

    They join weight witches.

  • Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

    They told him he was good at deriving

  • How do you get a Cambodian person to join you?

    Just shout "Hey, Khmer!"

  • What's the difference between a brothel and a circus?

    Your mother never ran away to join the circus.

  • Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

    He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

  • Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

    He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

  • What did "Nock" say to "K"?

    You can join us, as long as you stay quiet.

  • What is your dream car and why?

    Minivan, because the sliding door joining in MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS

  • Why did King Kong join the army?

    To learn about gorilla warfare.

  • Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

    He heard they had PIE.

  • Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?

    He wanted to speak in tungsten.

  • What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

    Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

  • Why did the carpenter join the army?

    Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

  • What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

    Baked Yazidi

  • Bad at golf?

    Join the club.

  • Why did the book join the police?

    He wanted to work undercover.

  • What would you call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team?

    The High Five

  • Why did the pig join the Army?

    He heard the food was a mess.

  • Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

    They can't hide behind billboards.

  • What branch of the military did the hipster join?

    The Salvation Army.

  • Why did the Turkey join the band?

    because he had two Drumsticks.

  • Why did the Pasta join a dating website?

    Because he was cannelloni.

  • Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

    Because he was hydra-phobic.

  • Why did they let the chicken join the band?

    Because he brought his own drumsticks

  • What happens when you join two Koreans together?

    Linkin Park.

  • Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

    He hates camping

  • How do you get Americans to join a World War?

    Tell them it's nearly finished.

  • Why are ISIS fighters afraid to join the TEA Party?

    They're afraid they'll be audited by the IRS.

  • How do you convince America to join a war?

    Tell them its almost over

  • What do you call corn that joins the army?


  • A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

    'Can I join you?'

  • Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

    Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

  • Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

    Because they all joined

  • What do you get when you slice ice cream?

    Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

  • Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

    A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

  • Why did Hank Hill join an S&M club?

    He heard they were Pro-Pain.

  • Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

    Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

  • Why did I join Twitter?

    Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

  • What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

    A StayGosaurus

  • Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

    Because all they serve is cold turkey.

  • What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

    He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

  • What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself?

    A high-jacker.

  • What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?

    He bowled long hops !

  • Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?

    Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !

  • Why did Bill and Ted join Islam?

    Because they heard it was radical!

  • How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

  • Why did the surfer join ISIS?

    Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

  • What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

    The Dark Knightrogen

  • What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

    They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

  • What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League?

    The Starry Knight

  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym?

    I'll re-rack.

  • What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy?

    Slim to nun.