Key Jokes

  • What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger

  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic?

    Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar.

  • Whats the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger.

  • What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

    A dookie

  • What can't I find on the internet?

    My keys

  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?

    Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

  • What kind of key opens a casket?

    A skeleton key.

  • What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

    A key.

  • What's the worst thing about...?

    getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger. *Yet another Australian pub joke*

  • What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain?

    MUH SOGGY KEYS!

  • What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

    For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

  • Whats the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger

  • What kind of phone does a burglar use?

    A no-key-a

  • Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

    A LockSith.

  • Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ?

    Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s

  • What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith?

    There isn't one.

  • What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

    both can be solved with a coat hanger

  • What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

    Going in to ask for a coat hanger!

  • What's the key to long lasting Relationships?

    Not breaking up

  • What key won't let you through any doors?

    A turkey.

  • Where's the dog?

    flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

  • What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?

    Going in and asking for a coat hanger.

  • What's the key to finding love?

    Rohypnol

  • What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside to ask for a clothes hanger

  • Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

    They needed some space.

  • Why can't blondes finish software updates?

    They can never find the "any" key.

  • Why do bald-headed men never use keys?

    Because they've lost their locks.

  • Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

    It was leave your keys at the door.

  • What key do you need to open a banana?

    A monkey

  • What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic?

    When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

  • What did the young witch say to her mother ?

    Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !

  • What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?

    Plenty of coat hangers.

  • What's worse than locking your keys in you car outside an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger

  • Whats the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic parking lot?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger.

  • What is long and likes to pry in a hole?

    A key.

  • What's the key to a Pirate Opera?

    The High Cs

  • How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

    The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

    Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

  • Why is the door knob?

    Because the key. (ok, i will show myself out)

  • What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

    They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

  • What's the key to a good joke?

    Timing.

  • What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before?

    A key.

  • What are the keys made of?

    Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

  • How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

    A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

  • Why was the band late to their gig?

    Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

  • What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?

    Going inside and asking for a coat hanger.

  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in the car in an abortion clinic parking lot?

    Going inside to ask for a hanger.

  • How did they break in?

    Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.

  • What key opens a banana?

    A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

  • What's the the key to telling an ISIS joke?

    The execution.

  • What is the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

  • Why do baby clothes have pockets?

    I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

  • Why do fish always sing off key?

    You can't tuna fish.

  • What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.

  • Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

    He always had treble finding his keys!