Knock Jokes
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What did Chris Brown's dad say to him after the Rihanna incident?
Son, it's better to knock her out than to knock her up!"
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door?
And what is the person inside to say "who is it "
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Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?
It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.
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What did the nurse who knocked on the pregnant lady's door say?
Womb Service!
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Why did little Suzy fall of the swing set?
She has no arms... Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy
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Why doesn't America like knock knock jokes?
Because freedom rings.
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Why can't Sally ride the swings?
Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there Not Sally...
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How do you know a drummer is at your door?
The knock speeds up.
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What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind?
I went out on a limb.
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Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator?
Because there might be an Italian dressing.
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What do you with a crazy girl knocking on your door?
You don't let her out.
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Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States?
Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings.
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Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ?
Burglars don't knock !
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What do fruit punch and a punch to the face have in common?
Both can knock you out at a party.
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Whos there?
Yoda lady. Yoda lady who Good job yodeling! 2.Knock knock. Whos there Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock!
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Why didn't Silento knock before coming inside?
Because you already know who it's isss! My little sister told me this joke.
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How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
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What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down?
Crumbs!
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Why did Alice fall off the swing?
A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock *who's there * A. Not Alice...
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Why did little Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Obviously not Sally
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What's the difference between a man's balls and Jehovah's Witnesses?
There's none. They both knock on the door, but never goes in!
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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?
You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.
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Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ?
Ben knocking on this door all morning !
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Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it?
Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.
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How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it?
You knock on the door.
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Who is the only person able to knock out Ronda Rousey?
Bill Cosby
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How do you sink a norwegian submarine?
Swim down and knock on the hatch. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)
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Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?
When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.
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What is black and knocking on the window from the inside?
A baby in the oven.
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How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.
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How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
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Why can't you tell knock knock jokes about freedom?
Because freedom rings
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Why doesn't America knock?
Because freedom rings
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What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?
Nothing, he was knocked out .
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How do you sink an Irish submarine?
A: Knock on the hatch.
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What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.
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Why does the KKK hate bowling?
Because a black ball knocks over white pins with red necks.
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What did Michael get for his birthday?
Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael
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What don't homeless people get?
Knock knock jokes
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What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head?
It knocked him cold.
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What was the last line in Anne Frank's diary?
Just a moment, someone's knocking on the door..
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Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?
Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.
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What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?
He saw stars.
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What's the best way to knock out a dog?
with a woofie.
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What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?
The dishes if she knows what's good for her!
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Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?
Because in America, freedom rings.
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Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?
Cause' freedom RINGS!
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Why doesn't the Grinch like knock knock jokes?
Because there's always Whos there!
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Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susie.
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How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?
A: Knock on the door.
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Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?
Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors
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How do you offend homeless people?
By telling them knock knock jokes!
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Why did Mary fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there ) Well, it ain't Mary.
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How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?
giANT!!
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Who's there? Deja. Deja who?
Knock, knock.
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Knock knock. Who's there? Opportunity.
That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!
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Who knock knock joke Knock knock Who is it?
Doctor.** Doctor who **YES**
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What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?
The future
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What shape is produced when you knock over a 60s actress?
a Tippihedron
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Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
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What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke?
Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.
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What do you call a punch that can knock out 40 first graders?
A Sandy Hook
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Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?
Because HE is the one who knocks.
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What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?
Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.
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Why don't Chinese people roll 12lb balls down wooden lanes to knock over pins?
Because to them it's boring.
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How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.
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What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
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Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house... Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.
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Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
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Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
She got hit by a bus. Why did Sally fall off the swing? She lost her arms when she was hit by a bus. Why did Sally not get back on the swing? She also lost her legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? I don't know, she couldn't open it.
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Who is that walking up my driveway?
Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."
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How do you sink a Swedish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.
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Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?
Because Freedom Rings.
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What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
A. "It's okay Daddy I'm not hurt."
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What did the white guy say when he found out his sister got knocked up by her black boyfriend?
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"
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Why did Sally fall off the swingset?
Because she had no arms. "knock knock" "whose there?" "not sally!"
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Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars?
A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there Me: Not Lucy.
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What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser?
Resisting a rest.
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How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?
A: The knocking always speeds up.
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What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?
Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason.
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What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?
Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door
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Why does America not have knock knock jokes?
Because freedom rings.
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How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?
He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.
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What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
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Who could that be?
It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...