Lesbian Jokes
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What is Viagra for lesbians called?
Batteries
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What do you call a lesbian spy?
Lesbianage.
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What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
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What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
Hey! We really DO taste like chicken!
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What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
Well-hung.
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What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?
A lick-her cabinet
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What do you call a lesbian with big hands?
Well hung!
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What do you call an army of lesbians?
Militia Etheridge
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What do you call a closet full of lesbians?
A liquor cabinet.
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What do u call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?
Fur traders.
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What do you call a lesbian version of Grindr?
Scisr.
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What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semi-automatic guns?
Militia Etheridge.
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What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
Single.
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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
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Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands?
Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is...
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What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?
You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalatapus
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What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?
They're right! We do taste like chicken!
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Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?
When they get to third base they think they've scored
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What do Brazil and lesbians have in common?
Neither like touching balls.
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What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
Depends
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Why do lesbians hate Nutella?
Because it's not nut-free
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How fast can the lesbian get here?
Licka de split!
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What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?
A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker
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Why do lesbians like radishes?
Because they like to get their daikon.
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What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend?
Scissor me timbers
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How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom?
They think outside the box.
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What is a support group for lesbian mathematicians called?
Number Munchers!
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What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?
You may fist the bride
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Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China?
All the dongs.
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What's the difference between a muddy bicycle and a ditzy lesbian?
One is a dirty bike and the other is a derpy dyke.
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What's the difference between my broken watch and a lesbian?
My watch hasn't got a strap on.
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What do lesbians in Alaska sing?
What would you do ew ew in a Klondike bar.
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How do you view lesbian relationships?
1080p
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What's the best part of two lesbians marrying?
Two cooks in the house.
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What does a lesbian pirate say?
Scissor me timbers!
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How do lesbian carpenters work?
No studs. All tongue in groove.
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What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See you next month.
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What do you call a group of lesbians from Pittsburgh?
Lesbiyinz.
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What do you call a lesbian that you can't understand?
A mad lib...
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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.
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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, except she scissors it in.
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What do lesbians use for lubricant?
Tartar sauce!
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What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist?
DYKE HARD
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What did a lesbian frog tell another lesbian frog?
Damm, we do taste like chicken!
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Whats the difference between children and lesbians?
Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs.
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How do you see lesbian relationships?
I said in HD. They didn't like it...
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What do you call a lesbian octopus?
A lickalotopuss.
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What do you call two lesbians in a cupboard?
A liquor cabinet.
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What's the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?
One is a snack cracker and the other a crack snacker.
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What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?
Carpet burn
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Why didn't the lesbian cross the road?
She didn't have the balls to do it
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What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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What do straight guys and lesbians have in common?
They both like girls
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What do you call a woman with her tongue out?
A lesbian with a hard on.
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Where in New York City do lesbians most like to live?
Manhatin'
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How did the lesbian couple build their house?
Tongue and groove.
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Why did the lesbian cross the road?
To get to the other bride!
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Where can you meet horny girls?
Dad! For the umpteenth time there are NO horny girls in this world... Unless they're lesbians.
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What language do lesbians speak?
Gaelic.
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Why do lesbians have cats?
They're into pussies.(
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What do you call lesbians doing karate?
dikewondo
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Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival?
She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast.
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Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor?
A. They're all laid with tongue and groove.
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What do you call two lesbians in the closet?
a liquor cabinet.
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When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?
Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets
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What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?
Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg
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How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
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What do you get when you cross a lesbian with a hippopotamus?
A lickalottapuss.
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What are the people from the country Lesbia called?
Lesbians
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What do you call a lesbian platypus?
A lickalotapus
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What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns?
Scissor Sisters *ba-dum-tiss*
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What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails?
Single*.
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What do you call three lesbians on a bicycle?
A trike
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What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?
One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus.
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What Kind of Motorcycles do Lesbians ride?
Chowasaki. - Pat H.
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What do you call a lesbian chicken?
A sticky beak!
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What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?
An elven degenerate.
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Why did the lesbian cross the street?
She was emo.
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What do lesbians use to get on top of a building?
A scissor lift.
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What do you call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?
Fur traders.
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What do you call a pub for lesbians in circus outfits?
A Clown-Dyke-Bar Credit to
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What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?
A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.
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What are my views on lesbian relationships ?
I view it in HD.
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What ya call a lesbian with large fingers?
Well hung!
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What's the difference between a lesbian and a canoe?
A canoe tips.
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How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?
There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!
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What's the difference between a lesbian and a sperm whale?
Fifty pounds and a flannel shirt.
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What does one lesbian pirate say to another lesbian pirate?
Scissor me timbers.
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What happens when two lesbians build a house?
It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.
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What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
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What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus?
A lickalottapus.
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How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring?
It's all tongue and groove.
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What do you call a can of tuna in a lesbians back pocket?
DIP
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How often do lesbian gypsies get their hands read?
Every 28 days or so.
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What's the difference between a lesbian and a straight girl?
Four drinks.
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Why was the lesbian mad when she got her report card?
Cause she got a D
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What do you call a lesbian with big fingers?
Well hung.
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What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
Licker cabinet.
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What do u call a lesbian with 9in fingers?
Well hung.
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What's your view on lesbians?
1080p
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What do you do when two lesbians make out in front of you in a bus?
You get off.
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What game do lesbians like to play?
Clash of Clams
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What did one lesbian pirate say to the other?
Scissor me timbers!
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What did 1 lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?
They're right we do taste like chicken!
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Whats the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
Ones a snack cracker and ones a crack snacker!
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What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?
Have I got an ax to grind with you.
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Why are all lesbians ill?
They lack vitamin D
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur with vertigo?
Falloffalottapuss
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What's the difference between a Triscuit and a Lesbian??
One is a Snack Cracker and the other is a Crack Snacker!!
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How is a lesbian like a camel?
Their hump has no bone.