Letter Jokes
-
How did Canada pick its name?
There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message. I know i need to work on my execution.
-
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?
an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke
-
Why is C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet?
Because they are not Cs.
-
Which word is the longest in the English language?
Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
-
What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?
Envelope!
-
Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n?
Because n always has to be the center of attention.
-
How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?
By Bony Express.
-
What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common?
Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel.
-
Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?
payday vs prayday.
-
Why do postmen carry letters?
Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
-
Why is the letter N the most powerful letter?
Because it is in the middle of TNT.
-
How do you fit an elephant in the subway?
You take the letter "S" out of "sub", and the letter "F" out of "way".
-
How do you spell candy with two letters?
C and Y
-
Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?
Because the censor erased the letter "s".
-
Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?
Because he can see the D
-
What kind of letters would you send to capital cities?
A: Capital letters.
-
Why must judges learn to spell well?
A: They must follow the letter of the law.
-
What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?
nothing
-
What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
-
What's a pirate's most favorite letter?
A letter of marque(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letterofmarque).
-
What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.
-
How can you spell too much with two letters?
XS (excess).
-
What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?
w'
-
How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
-
Why did the letter arrive wet?
Because it had postage dew.
-
What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?
Best vicious . . .
-
Why do American's take letters out of words?
Because they're lazy, and they hate U.
-
What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?
The Post Office
-
What are the first three letters of the Greek alphabet?
I.O.U.
-
What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.
-
What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?
A: "The C" COMMENT A JOKE BELOW!
-
Why is "Z" afraid of all of the other letters?
Because they're Not-Z's ( )
-
Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office.
-
What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?
A coconut!
-
Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football?
Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P.
-
Where's the middle of nowhere?
It's three letters in. "H".
-
How can you make seven even?
How can you make seven even? Take away the letter S.
-
Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest?
letter G (lethargy)
-
Who's there ! Adeline ! Adeline who ?
Adeline extra to the letter !
-
Why is the letter "O" everywhere?
Because it's a round U.
-
What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?
Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.
-
What letter is like a vegetable?
The letter P.
-
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
-
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ?
Fang letters !
-
What insect can be spelled with just one letter?
Bee.
-
Whats the last letter in the alphabet?
somebody help plz I need help on kindergarten project
-
What's the longest verb in the English language?
Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.
-
Why is E the only good letter?
Because every other letter is not E!
-
What does December have that other months dont have?
The letter D.
-
What kind of turns do letters take?
U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.
-
What letter has to wait in line the longest?
Q
-
What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?
the woman asks her husband. "Keep sending them!"
-
What word has the most letters in it?
Postbox.
-
What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?
It's a dead letter day.
-
What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?
F.B.I.
-
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!
-
What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?
T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.
-
How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
By hare mail!
-
Why the letter "G" is scary?
In one fine evening it can turn your host into . . . GHOST.
-
What two words have the most letters?
Post office.
-
What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
By hare (air) mail.
-
Why do people leave letters at the football ground ?
They want to catch the last goal-post !
-
Which letter has the best bum?
Big Rs
-
What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?
LO
-
What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?
Bernadette
-
How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?
NME (enemy).
-
What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer ?
I.C. !
-
What's the difference between Botox and Borax?
Two letters.
-
Why is the letter T like an island?
Because its in the middle of water!!!
-
What are two letters a Brit can't live without?
T and Qs.
-
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang mail.
-
What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?
Heir mail
-
How can you spell chilly with two letters?
IC (icy) .
-
Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing?
MT (empty)
-
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
-
Why is the letter E lazy?
Because it's always in bed.
-
What girl's name is like a letter?
Kay (K).
-
How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season?
Only 25...because there's Noel.
-
What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?
Stone.
-
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F.
-
How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission.
-
How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?
Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.
-
Which two letters are rotten for your teeth?
D K
-
Why does the letter A look like a flower?
A: Because Bs like flowers.
-
Why is the letter E like London?
Because it is the capital of England.
-
What are the ten letters of the pirate alphabet?
Aye, Aye! Arrrr! & the Seven Seas!
-
How many redditors does it take to send a letter?
Three. One to post it, and two to repost it.
-
What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?
w
-
What do you call a Welshman who writes lots of letters ?
Pen Gwyn !
-
What do I do after I die?
Idk EDIT: Read the letters out loud :)
-
What did the letter F say when he became cool?
Sup G
-
What letter stands for the ocean?
The letter C.
-
How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?
You take the letter F out of way.
-
How do you take the letter "F" out of the word "WAY" ?
There is no F in way.
-
What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail of course!
-
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?
Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
-
What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?
envelope
-
Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?
Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.
-
What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?
Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.
-
Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are not c's. *** *ba dum tss*
-
What don't you ever wanna call a black person that begins with the letter n. And ends with the letter r?
Neighbor
-
What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?
An envelope!
-
What's the difference between being artistic and autistic?
Just one letter.
-
What starts with the letter "M" and picks up metal?
Mexicans.
-
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally.
-
What 8-letter word has one letter in it?
Envelope.
-
What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?
nothing
-
What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad?
Two letters.
-
What two words contain the most letters?
A: Post office.
-
Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.
-
Which two letters on the keyboard are the furthest from each other?
X and V. There's a C between them.
-
Why was "C" afraid of all the other letters ?
They are all "Not-C's" !
-
How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
-
Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?
He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.
-
What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!
-
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
-
How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?
U and I.
-
Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?
She had never learned to spell properly.
-
What letter should you avoid?
The letter A because it makes men mean.
-
Why is a racehorse like a letter?
They both begin a trip at the post!
-
What two words have thousands of letters in them?
Post office.
-
What has ten letters and starts with gas?
flatulence"
-
How many letters can you wear on your feet?
10 E's
-
How did they name Canada?
They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.
-
How does a ghost start a letter?
Tomb it may concern.