Lightbulb Jokes
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How man redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to change it and nine to downvote for no reason.
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How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Click here to find out!
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How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?
The parents would love to know.
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How did the hipster burn his fingertips?
He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. rimshot
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How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
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What does a lightbulb and a pregnant woman have in common?
Its easy to break the little light inside them.
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How many mitochondria does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they're the powerhouse of the cell.
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How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. Their President outsources the job to India.
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How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one more.
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How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?
zero, because none of them knows how to
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How many believable competent "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it
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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.
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How many Social Justice Warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, just the one black guy they get to do it so they can tell him how oppressed he is.
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How many social justice activists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They can't change anything lol
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How many honest politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
All three of them.
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How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. And they get 3 credits for it.
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How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams "REPOST"
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How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?
They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it
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What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you?
A polite bulb.
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How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys.....
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How many sovereign citizens does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They're too afraid of the electricity.
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How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora
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How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just hire a mexican to do it.
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How many rainbows does it take to change a lightbulb?
The white amount.
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How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who wants to know?
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How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Should it really be a lightbulb?
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How many wiseguys does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who's asking
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How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to and th e to two with lp he
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How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and cry.
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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish?
Lightbulb.
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How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.
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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Idk, its too dark to tell them apart.
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How many millennials does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it, the other to give him his ribbon.
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How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb?
Violent revolutions never change anything.
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How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".
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How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They only screw playoff games
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How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Amen.
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How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.
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How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?
Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.
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How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.
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How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hella.
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How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh well, I'll figure it out later.
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How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.
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How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Five. One.
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How many /r/ users does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, one to complain that it has already been done before, and one to repost this joke.
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How many teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but you need a really big lightbulb.
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How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
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How many koalas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, given that he's koali-fied for the job.
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How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ladder.
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How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. He is drunk, and he tells the bulb to screw itself.
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How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.
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How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.
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How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
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How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.
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How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and another to sing about all the good times they had with the lightbulb.
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How many Northern Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hella.
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How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that's what students are for.
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How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers.
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How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
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How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None... they just shoot the room for being black.
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How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. We are efficient and don't like humour.
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How many dragon Ball z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many dragon Ball z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but it'll take at least 6 episodes!
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How many saiyans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. But it takes five episodes.
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How many SJW's does it take to fix a lightbulb?
100. 100 who complain about the lightbulb oppressing them, and 1 man to actually do it.
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How many surrealist does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish
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How many mathematician does it take to change a lightbulb?
pi
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How many contradictory Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Nein.
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How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
None--He'll only promise "change."
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How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this
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How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em.
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How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him.
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How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.
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How many members of a particular ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Enough to reinforce my negative stereotype about them.
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How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.
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How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it will take 13 attempts.
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How many x does it take to change a lightbulb?
f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype.
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How many Pollyanna's does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It's too dark.
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How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ?
All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb?
Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her.
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How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!
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How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.
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How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.
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How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One Brazillion.
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How many people does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Just one guy with a really weird fetish.
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How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.
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How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One Brazillion.
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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
More guns.
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How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb?
It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word "screw" is.
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How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it.
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How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently 10 aren't enough :
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How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards.
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How many tropical Birds Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?
Well, turns out one is not enough, but if you pair it, two can.
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How many Greek Catholic monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a Basilian.
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How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.
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How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to actually change the lightbulb and nine to bring refreshments
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How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there
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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish.
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How many BLM protestors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them.
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How many dead memes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twenty-one.
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How many Dragonball characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes him 20 episodes.
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How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.
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How many PETA member does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesnt matter. PETA cant chqnge anything!
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How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?
The answer may shock you.
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How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!
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How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.
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How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?
We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.
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How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, we just swap out your whole house
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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One.
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How many short term memory loss patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
to get to the other side..
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How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know. They just keep going on and on about how the last one broke.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but you have to get them in there first.
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How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one.
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How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they can't climb the ladder.
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How many climate change deniers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What are you talking about? The bulb is fine.
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How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb?
Change Whatever do you mean, *change*
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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Need to know ASAP.
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How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)
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How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.
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How many does it take to screw in lightbulb?
thread! Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
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How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
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How many Sore Losers does it take to change a Lightbulb?
Won.
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How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't. They just talk about when it did work.
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How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."
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How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.
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How many JokeExplainBots does it take to change a lightbulb?
are easily threaded by one person, with one hand. Doot.
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How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.
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How many qataris does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just make the nepalese do it.
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How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z***
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How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they need a backup.
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How many fuccbois does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
idk, you dtf tho
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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
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How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him
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How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change.
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How does a beautiful woman change a lightbulb?
Idk how You've obviously never changed one.
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How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
You cant count them when its dark
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What if UK's politician changes the lightbulb?
He Brexit!
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How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.
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How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?
She gives birth to a son.
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How many mods does it take to change a lightbulb?
deleted
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How many femenists does it *really* take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter how many femenists try, they can't change anything. Alternatively, they just hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around them.
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How many people from Brazil does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A Brazilian!
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How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
More guns!
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How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.
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How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...
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How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
13. Number 9 will shock you!
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How many political parties does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to change the lightbulb, and the other to bask in the light of the old one.
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How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many transgender people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one. But they have to sit in the dark room for a year, first, to make sure that the lightbulb is out.
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How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They glow in the dark.
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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, except she scissors it in.
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How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.
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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Juan (This probably has been posted earlier but is still funny )
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How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?
They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.
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How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews
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How many Toronto Maple Leaf fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Nobody knows. They always say they'll do it next year.
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How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twelve, you got a problem with that
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How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.
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How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?
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How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.
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How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.
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How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.
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How many ghosts does it take to change one lightbulb?
Zero. They don't exist.
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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
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How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour.
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How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.
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How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?
We're on our sixth.
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How many Avatar characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It will change when the fire nation attacks
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How many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black
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How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.
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How many rationalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Probably one but you can't generalise.
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How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM
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How Many Hillary Supporters Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Why NONE of course, they prefer to remain in the dark!
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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but when he unscrews the bulb, the lights go out and your xbox is gone.
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How many homophobes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world.
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How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him.
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How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Should it really be a lightbulb
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How many Bros does it take to change a lightbulb?
None cuz it's already lit af
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How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first.
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How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but they have to steal it first.
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How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, because How Can Light Be Real If Our Eyes Arent Real?
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How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.
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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?
Nun.
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How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!
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How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves
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How many rappers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two!.......pac. (*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)
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How many Germans do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
One. We're efficient not funny!
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How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001.
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How long did it take Goku to change a lightbulb?
20 Episodes and Krillin dies.
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How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many SCPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
DATA EXPUNGED
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How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb?
A: A fish!
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How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.
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How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One
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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a bad joke teller?
To get to the other side!
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How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A what?
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How many stream cleaners does it take to change a lightbulb?
Sorry, they can only change the floor essence.
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How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb ?
You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction.
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How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business.
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How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One but don't expect results.
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How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.
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How many redditors it takes to change a lightbulb?
OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.
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How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)
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How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hella. How long does it take them Days.
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How many Star Trek captains does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but there are FOUR LIGHTS!
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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
well many how???
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How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.
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How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.
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How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?
We're on our sixth.
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How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They like to keep their subscribers in the dark.
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Why did Kyle Crane have to change the lightbulb?
because he had a dying light
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How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none. That's a hardware problem but have you tried turning it on and off again
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How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
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How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Toucan
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How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?
Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.
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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb in Texas?
They can't. There's a wall.
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Why did the chicken walk into the bar?
To screw in the lightbulb.
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How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.
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How many dislexic mods does it take to screw a lightbulb ?
Remodve
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How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?
nun
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How many people with no humor does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
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How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
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What's so dark about blonde jokes?
They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb
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How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian
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How many children's TV presenters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to change the lightbulb and another to show one they changed earlier.
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Why did a lightbulb in the candy store go out?
It needed to get it's fill o' mint.
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How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
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How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. But he gets three hours credit.
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How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
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What do you do if can't change a lightbulb?
Ya know what Just screw it.
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How many Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four, one to change it and three to comment on the changing.
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How many chicken eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Literally dozens.
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How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.
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How many protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?
TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING**
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How many X does it take to lightbulb?
Karma?
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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?
The lightbulb works fine...
-
How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one.
-
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but they'll ask for $15 an hour.
-
How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. But he gets three hours credit.
-
How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, but it must be an odd number because, "they can't even."
-
How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number
-
How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
CHANGE !
-
How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, we just swap out your whole house
-
How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
CHANGE !
-
How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.
-
How many PMSing women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. Why? It just does! OKAY!
-
How many tacos does it take to change a lightbulb?
why don't we have both
-
How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One.
-
How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it.
-
How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Somewhere between 0 and infinity.
-
How many women does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Only one, but with a perticular FETISH
-
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins
-
How does Donald Drumpf change a lightbulb?
He doesn't. He hires people with long fingers to do it for him.
-
How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change...
-
How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.
-
How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, or two? One, or two?
-
How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.
-
How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.
-
How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they like to keep the mods in the dark.
-
How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
7
-
How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?
4 or 5.
-
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hella. How long does it take them Days.
-
How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.
-
How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.
-
How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Their parents will do it for them.
-
How many Chauvinists does it take to Change a Lightbulb?
None, because chauvinists can't change anything.
-
How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, anarchists can't change anything.
-
How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?
3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb
-
How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Nun.
-
How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags.
-
How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb?
A fish!
-
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wanna go ride a bike?
-
How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but they have to do it during dinner.
-
How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.
-
How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
-
How many Heisenbergs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.
-
How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
-
How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
You cant count them when its dark
-
How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Why does it have to be a group activity?
-
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Need to know ASAP.
-
How many Dave Matthews fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
There are Dave Matthews fans
-
How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub
-
How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.
-
How many alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
-
How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Lightbulb What lightbulb
-
How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
-
How many indie kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
none because There is A Light That Never Goes Out.
-
How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that's a hardware issue.
-
How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!
-
How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well it depends on what you mean by change.
-
How many pork chops does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know it's lard to tell.
-
How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!
-
How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.
-
How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
-
How many girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know...
-
How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?
One...but it takes him 27 tries
-
How many pepes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
-
How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
-
How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution
-
How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Depends on how clumsy you are.
-
How many dubstep fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wuh-wuh-wuh-one.
-
How does Kanye West screw in a lightbulb?
He holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.
-
How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A what?
-
How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
-
How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one.
-
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not all men.
-
How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?
You don't need to, they glow in the dark.
-
How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb?
One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.
-
How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'
-
How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.
-
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.
-
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.
-
How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!!!
-
How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.
-
How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
change??
-
How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.
-
How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work.
-
How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yarn.
-
How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who knows, they never get the house.
-
How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: So who wants to know Why do *you* want to know Are you a cop
-
How many extroverts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's throw a party while we're at it.
-
How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even.
-
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
-
How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
-
How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
-
How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first.
-
How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they don't change anything.
-
How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but it takes nine years.
-
How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.
-
How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.
-
How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two.
-
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
-
How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
-
What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?
Turned down 4 watt
-
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb?
You will find out when the light comes on.
-
How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the room is already lit.
-
How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb
-
How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her.
-
How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!
-
How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them
-
How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay
-
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!!
-
How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, he lets the knives do the work
-
How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. Their President outsources the job to India.
-
How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?
69
-
How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it
-
How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent?
Nun.
-
How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just shoot the room for being black.
-
How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5,6,7,8!
-
How does a feminist change a lightbulb?
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them.
-
How many Protestants does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They live in eternal darkness.
-
How many vegan people does it take to change a lightbulb?
One vegan, I am vegan, it was me - the vegan, I was the only vegan, it was me.
-
How many Einsteins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Relatively few
-
How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?
One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.
-
How many members of Linkin Park does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!
-
How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many do you want?
-
How many straight men in california does it take to change a lightbulb?
both of them
-
How many lonely guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. But he wishes it took two.
-
How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?
None. They can't climb the ladder.
-
How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.
-
How many literalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One.
-
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything!
-
How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
19 . Got a problem with that?
-
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)
-
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, how did they get in there anyway?
-
How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, and one to shoot him if he does it wrong.
-
How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!
-
How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Manual work That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff
-
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but they'd have to be really small.
-
How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.
-
How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission.
-
How many Economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Depends on the supply and demand curve
-
How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they arrest the room because it's black.
-
How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.
-
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just Juan
-
How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I don't know how they got in there.
-
How many homophones does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nun.
-
How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb?
One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her.
-
How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.
-
How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb.
-
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One narcissist. The narcissist holds the lightbulb in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.
-
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
-
How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They can't change anything.
-
How many menstruating women does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's not funny.
-
How many homeless does it take to change a lightbulb?
There's change in a lightbulb
-
How many anti-Trump protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?
TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
-
How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!
-
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
-
How many christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
three, but they're really one
-
How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.
-
How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none, they blew it up already.
-
How many socialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them.
-
How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"
-
How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.
-
How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.
-
How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Nobody knows, there's no light.
-
How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution
-
How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
None he's still clinging to the old lightbulb.
-
How many Hal 9000 computer systems does it take to change a lightbulb?
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot do that"
-
How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.
-
How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb ?
One
-
How many Bros does it take to change a lightbulb?
None cuz it's already lit af
-
How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they have to be very small.
-
How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb?
The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement
-
How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more
-
What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb?
Not get a job.
-
How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.
-
How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
-
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
Depends what you want it to change into...
-
How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.
-
How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
have you tried turning the light off and back on?"
-
How many people from Cornwall does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't care, as long as they do it better than people from Devon.
-
How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
-
How many redditors are needed to screw a lightbulb?
As much people as is needed to screw that lightbulb.
-
How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.
-
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans.
-
How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
-
How many chans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Lulz!!! etc etc etc :-D
-
How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
13\. Number 9 will shock you!
-
How many Shia laBeouf's does it take to change a lightbulb?
NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can't.)
-
How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But it takes five episodes.
-
How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'
-
How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.
-
How many scientists it takes to change a lightbulb?
None *et al.*
-
How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"
-
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!
-
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
-
Where do lightbulbs die?
Offswitch.
-
How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?
YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!
-
How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, as long as they can find a way in.
-
How many believable competent "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it
-
How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!
-
How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, as long as they can find a way in.
-
How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Manual work That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff
-
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
-
How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub
-
How many Persona fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough.
-
What did the lightbulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.
-
How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?
About 8000
-
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. We don't address hardware issues.
-
How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.
-
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One.
-
How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.
-
How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.
-
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't need a lightbulb when I have the furnace ready.
-
How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers.
-
How Many Martians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?
At least two, but they have to be pretty small to fit.
-
How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)
-
How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none, just upgrade to windows
-
How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.
-
How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One for the money, two for the show.
-
How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.
-
How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!
-
How many feminists does it take to screw a vegan?
Lightbulb.
-
How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!
-
How many people in denial does it take to change a lightbulb ?
There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb.
-
How many mens' rights activists does out take to change a lightbulb?
Well, not all of them.
-
How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!
-
How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.
-
How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb?
He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you.
-
How many Hindus does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they will keep worshipping in dark.
-
How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The bear minimum
-
How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.
-
How many public school teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Whatever it says in the book.
-
How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Giraffe.
-
How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
one, but it takes 32 lightbulbs.
-
How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?
-
How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs?
He was delighted.
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How many BLM protestors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them.
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How many people from rio does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A Brazilian. Saw this joke elsewhere and thought i'd share it here.
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How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.
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How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Trick question. Idiots can't screw in lightbulbs regardless of help from other idiots.
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How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.
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How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy complaining about this joke.
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How many Chinese people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, while the rest were kung fu fighting
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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't care. You pick
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How Many Wal-Mart Workers Does it Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?
One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.
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How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.
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Why was the lightbulb invented?
Somebody had an idea.
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How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.
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How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place
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How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, two, two
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How many 9GAGers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Exactly the same amount as the Redditors on and .
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How many NorCal kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hella
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How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5,6,7,8!
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How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero.
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How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.
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How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None 'cause it's already lit, fam.
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How many eskimos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. Obviously.
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How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM
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How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.
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How many scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that's what interns are for.
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How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?
14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.
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How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)
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How many sound technicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One....Two...One, Two...
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How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Men can be Feminists, too.
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How many Coldplay members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.
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How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
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How many martial artists does it taek to change a lightbulb?
It only taek won do change a lightbulb.
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Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?
They love to watch mistakes being made.
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How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!
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How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A fish
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How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.
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How many Software Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None- that's hardware.
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How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, change comes from within.
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How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Toucan
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How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb?
One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it !
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How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. Plus a portable phone an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."
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How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."
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How many Latvians does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Is dark. Bulb is potato.
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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Sorry comments are unavailable on this joke.
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How many people with dementia does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many people with Alzheimer's did it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
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How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It depends on the definition of lightbulb.
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How many designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Does it really have to be a lightbulb
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How many Highlanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
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How many dank memes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter, just use the jet fuel instead.
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How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.
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How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
It was too bright in here anyway.
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How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt.
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How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?
Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.
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How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.
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How many performance artists does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, I left early.
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What's crunchy on the outside and airy in the inside?
A lightbulb.
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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again.
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How many Mizzou students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Whys the lightbulb got to be white !*"
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How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2 . One to screw it in and another to say, "I could do that".
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How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.
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How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb?
When this gets 500 upvotes, I'll tell you the answer.
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How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I don't know how they got in there.
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How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The change, if needed, will come from within.
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Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb?
Too much work.
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How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?
8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.
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How many members of the NRA does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More guns.
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How many /r/jokes reposts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Apparently a lot, because that lightbulb still isn't screwed in.
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How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.
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How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb?
5,6,7,8
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How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.
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How many Chernobyl survivors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They already glow.
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How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!
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How many Avatar characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It will change when the fire nation attacks
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How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!
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How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.
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How many isolationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they prefer to live in the dark.
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How many Vietnam War Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?
You don't know man, you weren't there!
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Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
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How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The bear minimum
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How many Heros does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All, to save this world from the darkness.
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How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.
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How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb?
They don't: They screw in a vacuum.
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How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
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How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. The sockets all went with the house.
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How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They don't believe in a higher power.
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How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hella.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's not funny.
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How many Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes 5 episodes.
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How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you
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How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.
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How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?
One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.
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How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, anarchists can't change anything.
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How many rioters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't be stupid, rioters can't change anything.
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How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change it, two to take pictures, and four to make t-shirts for the event.
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How many ameobas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No, sixteen! No, thirty-two! ...
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How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who wants to know
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How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.
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How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.
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How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?
deleted
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How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the otherside!
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How many mice does it takes to screw, in a lightbulb?
Two, as always.
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How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Apparently she will screw anything.
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How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yarn.
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How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. But I don't know how they got in there.
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How many Ellen Paos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. The mods do that for her.
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How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
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How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Have you tried turning it off and back on?
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How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Click here to find out!
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How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb
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How many feminists does it takes to change a lightbulb?
One. ###And it's NOT funny!!!
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How did the hipster burn his hand?
He was into lightbulbs before they were cool.
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How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!
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How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they enlighten themselves.
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How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb?
When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you.