Lock Jokes
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Whats the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger
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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?
Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
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What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside to ask for a clothes hanger
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What do you call 32 white people locked in a closet?
A captive Cherokee.
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What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?
Jail-birds !
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Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?
Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk
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Why can't redditors sew?
Because the thread has been locked by a moderator
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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.
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What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?
Both can be fixed with a coathanger.
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Why do bald-headed men never use keys?
Because they've lost their locks.
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Why was the band late to their gig?
Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.
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How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?
Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.
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What's worse than locking your keys in you car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger
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What did the knob say to the door?
I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! Skip
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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?
Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
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What does a suburban neighbourhood do if there's a blackout?
They lock their doors and windows.
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Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?
It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors
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Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house?
Because his gait is broken and his locks are few.
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How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?
Pop, Lock & Drop It
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Whats the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic parking lot?
Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger.
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What was the internet like in the old days?
Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*
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What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask for a coat hanger!
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Why did the belt get locked up?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
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What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
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Whats the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger.
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What is it like to mod r/news?
This thread has been locked. You will unable to vote or comment.
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What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?
Mice cubes !
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Why did the chicken lock itself in the freezer?
to get to the other side.
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What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?
They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.
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What do you if there is a black out?
Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.
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What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?
Going in and asking for a coat hanger.
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Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ?
Ammon old hand at picking locks !
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What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic?
When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
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Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them
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How does Steve Irwin open a lock made of tears?
With a "Cry-key!"
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What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
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How do you do it w/ 4 kids?
Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.
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What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic?
Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar.
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What's the worst thing about...?
getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger. *Yet another Australian pub joke*
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What is the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
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Why does Yasuo never get locked out?
Because he always "hasaki!"
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What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?
Going inside and asking for a coat hanger.
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How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?
Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?
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Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?
Because he kept locking up.
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What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?
Plenty of coat hangers.
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What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car?
Steamed Vegetable.
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What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?
both can be solved with a coat hanger
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What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?
They both contain locked up loonies!
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What makes you really cool?
Getting locked inside a walk-in freezer
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Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house?
because he has gnocchi
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What's the worst part about locking your keys in the car in an abortion clinic parking lot?
Going inside to ask for a hanger.
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What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car by the abortion clinic?
Having to go inside and ask to borrow a coat hanger
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What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?
A Nokia
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How do you tell if someone online is American?
They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)
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What do you call a lock with low self-confidence?
Insecure.
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Why did the black man walk into a bar?
Because the cell door was still locked.
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How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?
Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.