Math Jokes
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What is the average Math teacher like?
Mean.
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How many redditors does it take to get a joke?
Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.
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Why is the Math Book so sad?
It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.
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What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?
a polynomeal
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What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?
Trigger-nometry.
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Why do republicans hate math?
They were never comfortable with integration.
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How do you teach a girl math?
Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.
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What do math and mermaids have in common?
They both have an alge-bra.
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What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths?
Swigonometry.
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Who knows about math and science and is always close by?
An engi-near!
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Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?
Because they don't like to drink and derive.
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How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?
Carry the Juan
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Why are refugees bad at math?
They refuse to integrate.
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What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four
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How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?
He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy
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Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?
because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes...
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What's a feminists favourite type of math?
triggernometry
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Why are dwarfs so good at math?
Because it's the little things that count.
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How does a cow quickly do math?
With a cow-culator! (Rimshot)
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Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots
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Why will I go down in history?
I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.
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Why are blind people bad at math?
Because they lack da-vision.
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How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!
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Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math?
They have trouble forming solutions.
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Why do feminists dislike maths?
There's an XY axis but no XX axis.
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What does Math stand for?
Mental Abuse To Humans
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Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?
He drops the base when doing logs.
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What kind of math do feminists study ?
Triggernometry
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What do you call an intense love of math?
Calculust.
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Whats a weightlifters favorite kind of math?
AlgeBRUH!
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What insect is good at math?
A: An account-ant.
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What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?
There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.
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What kind of snake is good at math?
A: An adder.
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What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?
Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.
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What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?
Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow
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What's math?
people who give 110%
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Where is Jennifer's husband?
Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:
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Why are girls bad at maths?
They can't even.
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How can that help in this job?
You do the math"
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What u doing?
Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u
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Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?
Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.
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What do you call math that gives you PTSD?
Triggernometry
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Why are guys so bad at math?
They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches.
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Why do Asians like to have military time on?
So they can do math
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What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?
yesallwomen
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What's the diffrence between Math and Emos?
Math problems actually exist
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What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?
Me: Math
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What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?
STUPID AMERICAN!
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How do cows do math?
A cow-culator. haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.
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Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?
x always equals 10
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What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?
A Pi fighter
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What kind of ant is good at maths ?
An accountant !
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What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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What's the difference between math and meth?
One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.
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Why do social justice warriors hate math?
all the inequalities
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What did the Math book say to the pencil?
I see your point I've got a lot of problems.
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What type of math is dead?
Aerith-matic..
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How does a mathematician swear?
Math-you.
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How do bovines do math?
They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!
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How long have we been married dear?
Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.
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Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?
Because he likes to Count.
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What do bulls do math with?
A cow-culator! (Cue groans)
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What kind of math can you do with light?
Refractions
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Why is Math always sad?
Because it has too many problems.
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Why do rednecks hate math?
Integration.
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Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?
He was caught doing lines of math!