Math Jokes

What is the average Math teacher like?
Mean.

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?
Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Why is the Math Book so sad?
It has so many problems! Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?
a polynomeal

What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?
Triggernometry.

Why do republicans hate math?
They were never comfortable with integration.

How do you teach a girl math?
Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

What do math and mermaids have in common?
They both have an algebra.

What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths?
Swigonometry.

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?
An enginear!

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?
Because they don't like to drink and derive.

How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?
Carry the Juan

Why are refugees bad at math?
They refuse to integrate.

What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?
He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?
because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes...

What's a feminists favourite type of math?
triggernometry

Why are dwarfs so good at math?
Because it's the little things that count.

How does a cow quickly do math?
With a cowculator! (Rimshot)

Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots

Why will I go down in history?
I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

Why are blind people bad at math?
Because they lack davision.

How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator!

Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math?
They have trouble forming solutions.

Why do feminists dislike maths?
There's an XY axis but no XX axis.

What does Math stand for?
Mental Abuse To Humans

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?
He drops the base when doing logs.

What kind of math do feminists study ?
Triggernometry

What do you call an intense love of math?
Calculust.

Whats a weightlifters favorite kind of math?
AlgeBRUH!

What insect is good at math?
A: An accountant.

What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?
There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.

What kind of snake is good at math?
A: An adder.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?
Triggernometry... I'll see myself out.

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?
Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

What's math?
people who give 110%

Where is Jennifer's husband?
Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means 9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Why are girls bad at maths?
They can't even.

How can that help in this job?
You do the math"

What u doing?
Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?
Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

What do you call math that gives you PTSD?
Triggernometry

Why are guys so bad at math?
They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches.

Why do Asians like to have military time on?
So they can do math

What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?
yesallwomen

What's the diffrence between Math and Emos?
Math problems actually exist

What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?
Me: Math

What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?
STUPID AMERICAN!

How do cows do math?
A cowculator. haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?
x always equals 10

What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?
A Pi fighter

What kind of ant is good at maths ?
An accountant !

What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

What's the difference between math and meth?
One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

Why do social justice warriors hate math?
all the inequalities

What did the Math book say to the pencil?
I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

What type of math is dead?
Aerithmatic..

How does a mathematician swear?
Mathyou.

How do bovines do math?
They use a cowculator! Badumtsss!

How long have we been married dear?
Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?
Because he likes to Count.

What do bulls do math with?
A cowculator! (Cue groans)

What kind of math can you do with light?
Refractions

Why is Math always sad?
Because it has too many problems.

Why do rednecks hate math?
Integration.

Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?
He was caught doing lines of math!