Math Jokes

  • What is the average Math teacher like?


  • How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

    Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

  • Why is the Math Book so sad?

    It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

  • What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

    a polynomeal

  • What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic?


  • Why do republicans hate math?

    They were never comfortable with integration.

  • How do you teach a girl math?

    Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

  • What do math and mermaids have in common?

    They both have an alge-bra.

  • What's an alcoholic's favourite type of Maths?


  • Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

    An engi-near!

  • Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

    Because they don't like to drink and derive.

  • How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?

    Carry the Juan

  • Why are refugees bad at math?

    They refuse to integrate.

  • What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four

  • How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

    He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

  • Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

    because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes...

  • What's a feminists favourite type of math?


  • Why are dwarfs so good at math?

    Because it's the little things that count.

  • How does a cow quickly do math?

    With a cow-culator! (Rimshot)

  • Why do plants hate math?

    Because it gives them square roots

  • Why will I go down in history?

    I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

  • Why are blind people bad at math?

    Because they lack da-vision.

  • How does a cow do math?

    With a cowculator!

  • Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math?

    They have trouble forming solutions.

  • Why do feminists dislike maths?

    There's an XY axis but no XX axis.

  • What does Math stand for?

    Mental Abuse To Humans

  • Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

    He drops the base when doing logs.

  • What kind of math do feminists study ?


  • What do you call an intense love of math?


  • Whats a weightlifters favorite kind of math?


  • What insect is good at math?

    A: An account-ant.

  • What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

    There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.

  • What kind of snake is good at math?

    A: An adder.

  • What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

    Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

  • What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

    Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

  • What's math?

    people who give 110%

  • Where is Jennifer's husband?

    Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

  • Why are girls bad at maths?

    They can't even.

  • How can that help in this job?

    You do the math"

  • What u doing?

    Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

  • Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

    Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

  • What do you call math that gives you PTSD?


  • Why are guys so bad at math?

    They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches.

  • Why do Asians like to have military time on?

    So they can do math

  • What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?


  • What's the diffrence between Math and Emos?

    Math problems actually exist

  • What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?

    Me: Math

  • What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?


  • How do cows do math?

    A cow-culator. haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

  • Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

    x always equals 10

  • What do you get when you cross a Star Wars ship with math?

    A Pi fighter

  • What kind of ant is good at maths ?

    An accountant !

  • What kind of math do owls like?

    Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

  • What's the difference between math and meth?

    One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

  • Why do social justice warriors hate math?

    all the inequalities

  • What did the Math book say to the pencil?

    I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

  • What type of math is dead?


  • How does a mathematician swear?


  • How do bovines do math?

    They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!

  • How long have we been married dear?

    Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

  • Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

    Because he likes to Count.

  • What do bulls do math with?

    A cow-culator! (Cue groans)

  • What kind of math can you do with light?


  • Why is Math always sad?

    Because it has too many problems.

  • Why do rednecks hate math?


  • Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges?

    He was caught doing lines of math!