Mexico Jokes
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Which is the most common font i Mexico?
El Vetica.
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What are the most racist jokes you know?
There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died. What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool? Coco puffs.
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Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics?
Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.
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Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?
Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.
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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
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Why is it called Justice League of America?
Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)
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Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics?
Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.
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What do you call Squidward's Protest Group in Mexico?
Counter-Esp on ge
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Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics ?
Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US.
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Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red?
Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa.
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Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?
Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S
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What's Mexico's national sport?
Cross country
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What is Mexico's favorite sport?
Cross-country
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What do you call a senior citizen from Mexico?
A seor citizen.
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What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?
Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.
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Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?
Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.
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How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
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What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico?
The Juan percent.
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What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas?
He'd be an illegal alien.
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Why did the Dalai Lama go to Mexico?
So he can be juan with everything.
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Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics?
Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.
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What did the Mexico team travel back home with?
Luggage full of goals.
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Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States.
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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team?
Their best swimmers are all in American waters.
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Why is impersonating John Cena illegal in Mexico?
Because there's only Juan Cena
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When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico?
it seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens
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Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?
Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.
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Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?
Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.
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What do they call pita bread in Mexico?
Pita pan
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What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico?
Trotsky's Revenge
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Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?
Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.
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What is the official novel of Mexico?
Tequila Mockingbird
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Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team?
Because all the ones that can run, jump and swim are already in America.
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Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
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Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?
All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.
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What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?
They wash themselves.
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What do you call a can made in Mexico?
A Mexican.
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Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?
Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.
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What is the most popular novel in Mexico?
Tequila mocking bird
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Where is Wall Street?
Between Mexico and the US.
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Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.
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Why was Mexico willing to pay to build the wall between the US and Mexico?
So the can finally have a good Olympic team.
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What borders stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
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Why was Jesus not Mexican?
No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico
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How do they play basketball in Mexico?
Juan on Juan
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What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico?
Baby cedar
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Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?
Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.
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Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?
Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.
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Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?
Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.
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What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico?
The Chosen Juan.
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Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes?
Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America
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How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?
No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!
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What do you call a sinking ship from BP's Mexico division?
A Pedro leak.
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Why can't Mexico field a good Olympic team?
Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is already here in the US.
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Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?
Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.
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Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.
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Why does Mexico never do well in the Olympics?
Anyone who can run, jump or swim is already over the border
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Who's the best detective in Mexico?
Sherlock-Holmes
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What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
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What do you call a fight in Mexico?
A Juan on Juan.
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What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?
ESPOL
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Why is school in Mexico a lot harder?
Because they have a lot of ese's
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What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?
A broad abroad on a board aboard.
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What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico?
A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a senor
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Why did the Mexican jump the border?
To get back to Mexico
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What is Mexico's National Sport?
Cross-Country
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Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games?
All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.
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What do you do if your lawnmower stops working?
Deport him back to Mexico
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Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics?
Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.
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Why did I quit my job in Mexico?
It didn't peso well.
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What's the most popular sport in Mexico?
Cross-country.
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What do you call a company that makes Mexicans?
A MexiCo.
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Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?
They prevented hispanic attacks
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How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?
Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.
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How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup?
Literally all gardening stops