Michael Jackson Jokes
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What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?
Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.
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Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men?
He thought they were a delivery service
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What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?
Everything's gonna be all white.
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How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalogue. ba dum tss
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Who was Michael Jackson?
Son: Dad, is God man or a woman? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God black or white? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God good or bad? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God - Michael Jackson?
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?
They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.
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What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?
Tosses them off.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?
One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.
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How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
He ate a 10 year old wiener.
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Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's?
He heard boys' pants were half off.
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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?
Disney movies can still touch little kids.
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What college did Michael Jackson go to?
Bringham Young
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What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.
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What did the man say after Michael Jackson stole his coat?
Hey that's mycoat Jackson!
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What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter?
Nata-LEE-HEE!
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Why did Michael Jackson not molest Macaulay Culkin?
He wasn't hot enough.
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Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?
He's been underground for five years now.
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Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?
Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years? Michael Jackson
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How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
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What's white, plastic, and not suitable for ages 5 and under?
Michael Jackson
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What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson?
Do you want to be black, or white
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Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings?
Because he was always coming in a little behind.
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How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on new years?
Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!
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What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box?
Not suitable for children. Colors may vary.
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What gets whiter as it gets dirtier?
Michael Jackson!
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What's the similarities between Michael Jackson and the colour changing dress?
They both started out black and blue then became white and golden
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What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?
Nothing, Michael liked boys.
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What do you call Bruno Mars?
Michael Jackson the third.
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Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men?
Because he thought it was a delivery service.
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What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?
A-minor
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What service did Michael Jackson use to do his taxes?
Pay-To-File
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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess?
Because he's dead.
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Why did they have to put Michael Jackson down?
Because he couldn't race anymore!
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Andrew Jackson?
One goes from black to white, the other goes from white to black.
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Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?
He touched a lot of people.
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How do you tell Michael Jackson's age?
You put a color scale next to his face.
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What is white and inside a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's ghost's hand.
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Why was Macaulay Culkin an easy target for Michael Jackson?
Because he was home alone.
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Why did Michael Jackson have such a private life?
He wasn't nosey.
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What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?
Little boys pants half off.
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What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids?
Michael Jackson
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What did Michael Jackson say to the Vegetables?
Just beet it
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What do Michael Jackson and Mervyn's have in common?
They're both dead.
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What's small, gray, and came in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess?
Because he's dead.
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Why can't Michael Jackson drive backwards in a car?
Cause he's dead.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?
Disney movies can still touch children.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter?
10 "number 1's" and a not guilty verdict
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What did the sunbathing mother say to Michael Jackson as he walked by on the beach?
Would you please move You're in my sun.
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What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
Get out of my son!"
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What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
They both have little boys' jeans half off.
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What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.
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What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?
Michael Jackson
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What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.
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Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?
Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))
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Why does Michael Jackson like 26 year Olds?
Because there are twenty of them.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.
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When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
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What was Michael Jackson's favourite musical key?
A Minor
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Why wasn't Michael Jackson healthy?
Artificial colouring.
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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?
Jacks on Jacks off
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Who are your favorite underground artists?
Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston
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What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds?
There's 20 of them.
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What did Michael Jackson name his denim store?
Billy Jeans!
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What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson?
One was shot for playing with little children.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?
One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.
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What do Michael Jackson and Jimmy Savile have in common?
they touched some many lives
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Why did Michael Jackson love Beethoven's 3rd symphony?
It was done in A minor.
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ?
Disney Movies still touch kids
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Why is Michael Jackson not able to back into a parking space?
Because he is dead.
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Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
BringemYoung University
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What did Michael Jackson have in common with Target?
Boys clothes half off.
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What does Michael Jackson have in common with a second place racehorse?
They both came in a little behind.
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What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?
One of them got shot for touching a kid.
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Why did Michael Jackson always lose in a race?
Because he always came in a lil behind.
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What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both came in a little behind.
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What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?
They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!
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What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand !!
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What did Michael Jackson say at the bank?
Make that change"