Milk Jokes
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Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?
Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!
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What do you call milk at the edge of a cliff?
Legendary
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What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?
Hare in your milk!
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When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ?
When it's a baby elephant !
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What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?
Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.
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What's the hardest part about being a vegan?
Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.
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Where do Russians get their milk from?
From moscow
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How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?
When it's past your eyes.
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How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk?
Udderly useless.
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What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos!
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How do you milk a sheep and make a profit?
Remove the audio jack
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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?
The cow has the udder.
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What's the difference between a cow and September 11?
You stop milking a cow after 10 years.
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What's the difference between cows and bulls?
It takes longer to milk the bull.
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What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk?
A milk dud.
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Why don't cows drink milk?
because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
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Why does beer go faster through you than milk?
Why does beer go faster through you than milk? Unlike milk it doesn't have to change color. Why does Budweiser go faster through you than beer? Unlike beer it doesn't have to change taste.
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What do you call a cow that stopped producing milk?
An udder failure.
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Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
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What do you call a dwarf with a birth defect, is broke and can't drink milk?
Lack toes and tall or rent
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What's the easiest way to condense milk?
Mlk
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What's the difference between a cow, and 9/11?
You can't milk a cow for 14 years.
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What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
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What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked?
Moo**lestation
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What happened to the Milkman?
He drank all the milk.... makes sense no logically, yes!
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What do you call a cow which can no longer produce milk?
An udder failure.
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Why are there commercials for milk?
Who still doesn't know about milk
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What do you call a cow that can't moo?
A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew
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What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?
The one percent
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What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks?
A: Milk and quackers.
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What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?
Time to try the udder one."
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Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurised before you can see it!
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How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
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Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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How does Darth Vader like his milk?
warm
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Why is Papyrus taller then Sans?
Because Papyrus drinks plenty of milk.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?
An udder failure !
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How do you know if you are drowning in milk?
If it's pasturize
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What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?
OC) An utter disappointment
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How does Ice-Cube drink his milk?
Straight Outta Carton.
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What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk truck.
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What aisle has the milk?
Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "
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What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?
A cow can't be milked for 70 years.
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What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?
Your Mother.
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What happened when the cow tried to milk itself?
It was an udder catastrophe.
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What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?
Soy milk.
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Why did the cow drink his own milk?
He needed the cowlcium.
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What did the milk say to the cheese?
Hey, you're old!
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What do you call an NBA Superstar who's first job was stocking milk?
Legen-dairy*
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How do you milk sheeps?
With Apple accessories.
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What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?
You stop milking the cow after ten years.
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What's the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years
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What's the difference between a cow and 911?
You stop milking a cow after 14 years..
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What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?
A cow that can milk itself !
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Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?
Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)
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How can you tell when your drowning in milk?
When it gets pasteurise.
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What's the difference between Nine-Eleven and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day :-)
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What's the best way to milk a sheep?
Ask Apple.
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What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk?
Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk Diabetes
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How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?
When it's past your eyes.
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How do you milk sheep?
A: With iPhone accessories.
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Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?
To make them happy before they die.
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Who do women produce milk for?
The baby and the dad.
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What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank!
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Why cant people with no feet drink milk?
Because they are lack toes intolorent.
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What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?
1%
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What country makes the most milk?
Nepal
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Why are cows always broke?
The farmers milk them dry.
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What did the man say when he walked into a milk bar?
Can I grab some milk *Bah dum tsss*
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What does milk and brothels have in common?
Whore-moans!
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Why are men the best chefs?
Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.
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What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
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What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?
I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.
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What do you get from a bee that has an udder?
ANSWER: Milk and honey.
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What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?
A cow can't be milked for over 30 years
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What's the difference between a cow and The Bible?
You can't milk a cow for 2,000 years.
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What's the difference between a bull and a cow?
A bull smiles when you milk it.
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What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
Getting it to fit over a bucket !
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What is the fastest thing in the world?
Milk. Because it's pasteurised before you see it.
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Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11?
Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years.
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How do you milk a sheep?
With iPhone periph**e**rals.
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What is the most certain way to prevent milk from souring?
Keep it in the cow.
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What do you call a cow that can't make milk?
An udder failure!
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A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.
I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'
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Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?
He was lack toes and toddler ant
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What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of amnesia!
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What do you call a man with no feet and is allergic to milk?
Lack-toes intolerant
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What did the potato ask the cow?
Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.
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What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 10 years.
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How do you get milk from a witch's cat?
Steal her saucer.
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Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had?
He used cowculus!
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What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?
You can't milk a cow for 2000 years
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What do you call a cow that gives no milk?
An udder failure.
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What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk?
Utter despair.
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What does America and my Milk have in common?
Both will go bad in 9 days.
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Why won't the members of the Westboro Baptist Church drink whole milk?
Because it's Homo.
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What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby?
Milk and Bookies.
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What happens when you seduce a cow?
You get milk.
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What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk
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Why is milk so fast?
Because it's pasteurized before you see it!
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What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?
Whole milk.
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Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
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What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat?
You can't milk a goat for over 50 years
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What's the difference between slavery and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 150 years.
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What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for 15 years.
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What do you think I should buy, a cow or a bike?
You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike
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What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
Utterly useless
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What do you milk you can't see?
Pasteurized milk.
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What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?
A: Leave it in the cow.
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Why do you take baths in milk?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."
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Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
Because the cow has the utter.
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What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?
1%
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What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
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What type of bees make milk?
Boo bees
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What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out!
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What do you call man without toes?
What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk Lack-toes intolerant!!
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What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?
You can't milk a cow for 15 years.
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What is the difference between a goat and 9/11?
You cannot milk a goat for 13 years
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Why did the milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder
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How do you stop ISIS?
Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.
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What kind of scary bees can produce milk?
boo bees
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What milk does a coward make?
Craven-dale