Mix Jokes
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What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.
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What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics?
Albums released through California penal records.
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What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?
RoboClop....so sorry
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What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?
A religious movement.
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What do you get when you mix a Mexican with an octopus?
I dont know, but it sure as hell can pick apples.
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What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism?
I don't know, that's why I was asking you.
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What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?
A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.
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What do you get when you mix lemonade and ice tea?
A dead golfer...
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What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
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What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?
Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post )
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What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B?
The Marquis de Sade
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What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?
Squeaky clean clothes.
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What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
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What do you get when you mix a Dog and a Rhino?
How would Rhino?
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What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino?
Ell if I know
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What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?
A car-brrrrr-etor I'll see myself out.
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Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?
They call their tailor Herr Dresser
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What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX?
Relaxatives.
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What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
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What do you get when you mix a dog and a tulip?
A collieflower
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What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?
Tom Cruise
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What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?
Elrond Hubbard!
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What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?
A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)
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What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog
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What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?
The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.
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What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common?
They're both homo-genius.
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What do you get when you mix T and C?
Angry British people!
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What do you get if you mix..... Mexicans with Samoans?
Some mo Mexicans!
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What do you get when you mix a cat and a blender?
A visit from the cops.
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What do you get when you mix a rhino with an elephant?
Eliphino
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What do you get when you mix Viagra with Disney World?
Kicked out.
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What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?
A dilldoe
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What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool?
Scottsdale.
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What do you get when you mix pie and onions?
Opinions!
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25
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What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.
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What do you call a mix between holiday poultry and a ghoul?
A gobblin. I'll see myself out...
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What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black guy?
Idk but it sure as hell can pick cotton
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What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?
A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...
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What do you get when you mix a rhinoceros with an elephant?
Elephino...
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What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog
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What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
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What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?
Getting ready for work
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What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?
A criminal mastermind ...
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What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?
Hell if I know.
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What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.
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Whoa, what's with all the whisks?
Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me
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What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
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What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?
it's must-up ..
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What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?
The chemist may frown.
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What do you get when you mix yoga and scouting?
Concentration camps.
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What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?
Cheech Marinade!
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What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?
Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway
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What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?
Trigger-Nometry
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What do you get when mix the last of the solute with the last of the solvent?
The Final Solution
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What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?
Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.
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What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?
Mello Yellow
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What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium?
Pandemonium breaks out.
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What do get when you mix two breads?
A hy-bread
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What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?
The hell out of there.
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What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird!
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What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?
The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.
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What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?
Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.
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What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus?
A lickalottapus.
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What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?
Who cares? It's a relephant.
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What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate?
OH NO !"
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What do you get when you mix free running with golf?
Parfour Sorry
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What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite
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Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism?
Because you might get Sikh
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What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?
May be offensive) Mike Tyson
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What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?
A punchline
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What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?
An Aflacco
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What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?
Time
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What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?
I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.
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What do you get when... what do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?
a rhetorical answer
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What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?
I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.
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What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?
I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.
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What do you get when you mix /r/pokemon and /r/gonewild?
PP up
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What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy mixed-up squid.
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Why did Gandhi lose the race?
I guess he got his fasts mixed up.
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What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?
Bernie sanders
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What do you get when you mix batteries and water?
Watt-er
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What do you get when you mix a Native American and an Irishman?
An alcoholic with a drinking problem
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What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?
A year in prison if there's any justice.
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What happens when you mix roofies and Viagra?
Ring toss.
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What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?
A:.........
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What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B?
The Marquis de
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What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino?
Well hell-if-i-know!
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What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water?
A religious movement.
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What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow?
Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!
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What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu?
A bull shiht
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Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Because Oct31 = Dec25
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What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk?
Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk Diabetes
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What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes?
A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro
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What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white?
Greh.