Mouse Jokes
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What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
A purrfect meal !
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How do mice celebrate when they move home ?
With a mouse warming party !
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Why do mice have tiny balls?
Not very many of them know how to dance
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What did one mouse say to the other mouse?
I get a click out of you.
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Where are you?
I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM
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Why are elephants no good at Net surfing?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
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How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
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What's the difference between a mouse and a rat?
A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound
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What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese.
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What have you tried so far?
Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing
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What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?
Cracka-lackin
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there.
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What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?
Cat Farts...
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What kind of mouse walks on two legs?
A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!
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What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?
A mouse going on vacation.
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When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?
When your a mouse !
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What do rodents say when they play bingo ?
Eyes down for a full mouse' !
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What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
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Why does an elephant wear sneakers ?
So that he can sneak up on mice !
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Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
A: Catch.
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What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?
Word of mouse.
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What mouse was a Roman emperor ?
Julius Cheeser !
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How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ?
Try picking them up !
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What do you get when you put mice in the oven?
Mice crispies.
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What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?
Heavy petting.
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What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water?
Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.
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Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
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When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?
When it's raining cats and dogs !
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Why do mice have such small balls?
Because not very many of them can dance.
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What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ?
Bubble and squeak !
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What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?
Rats!
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What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ?
Dirty looks from the mouse !
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What did the mouse say to the webcam?
Cheese.
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Why did the man put cheese on his computer?
A: He wanted to feed the mouse.
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How many mice does it takes to screw, in a lightbulb?
Two, as always.
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What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
Getting it to fit over a bucket !
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When is a bad time to cross a black cat?
A: When you are a mouse!
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What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?
Look out for the mice!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.
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Why was Cinderella able to surf the web?
Because he footman turned into a mouse.
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What did the keyboard say to the mouse?
stop with the cheesey jokes!
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What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?
Bob.
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What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster?
Sir.
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What kind of musical instrument do mice play ?
A mouse organ !
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What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?
A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
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Why do mice have long tails ?
Well they'd look silly with long hair !
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How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?
A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.
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Why do mice have small balls?
Not many of them know how to dance.
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When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?
hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."
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What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?
Squeaky clean clothes.
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What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?
Mice outfit!
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What mouse has two legs?
Mickey Mouse. What duck has two legs
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Why did the computer squeak?
A: Someone stepped on the mouse.
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What goes eek eek bang?
A mouse in a minefield !
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Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !
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Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms?
Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen.
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Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?
Because he's not a rat.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but you have to get them in there first.
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What do mice do when they're at home ?
Mousework !
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Why do mice have such tiny balls?
Because so few of them can dance!
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Why are you giving a mouse any food?
That's unsanitary.
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Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear?
The giraffe put him up to it.
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Who is king of all the mice ?
Mouse Tse Tung !
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Who looks after the EuroDisney website?
Mick e-mouse.
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Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
It hasnt been tested on mice.
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What's the definition of innocence?
A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.