Nun Jokes
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What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
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What do you call a nun who is outside her local calling area?
A roamin' Catholic.*
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What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a javelin through her head.
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What do you call a nun with a drinking problem?
A bad habit
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What do you call a sister who works for you?
Nun of your business.
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How many Catholics can you fit in a habit?
Nun
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What's black, white, black, white, black, brown, black brown, black, black, black, black, black?
A nun on a spit
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What do you call a group of nuns who's into basketball?
Slam NUNk Who's their MVP Stephen Mary
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What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
The nun has hope in her soul!
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Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?
She was taking god's name in vein.
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What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?
A nun with a javelin through her head
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What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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What's black and white black and white black and white?
A nun rolling down a hill.
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What's black and white with red all over it?
A nun with multiple stab wounds.
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Why was the nun named "NPN"?
She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke
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Why did the nun always go to the same bar?
Habit
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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?
Sister-Matic
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What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
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Whats black and white and red all over?
A nun in a car accident.
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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?
Nun.
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What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?
One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole
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What do you call a black-white-black-white.... What do you call a black-white-black-white-black?
A nun falling off the stairs!! A really old one there.
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How do nuns surf the web?
On the Hymnternet.
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What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?
Catholic
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Why do nuns always travel in pairs?
Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.
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How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nunes?
None.
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How many wife's does a catholic priest allowed to have?
Nun
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What is black and white and red all over, and spins in circles?
A nun who has a spear in her, going through a vevolving door.
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What do you call it when a woman of the church goes on a secret mission?
Nun of your business
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What do nuns do?
Nunthing
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How many nuns are there in a temple?
Nun.
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What did the nun say to the priest?
Shut up
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Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?
It takes 21 days to make a habit.
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What do you call a legless nun?
Virgin immobile. Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke.
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What do you call a nun who's gone to Heaven?
Nun of the above.
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How did the Catholic Priest finish the marathon?
He was second to Nun.
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What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?
A nun falling down the stairs
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What do you call 2 Nuns & a Cheerleader?
2 Tightends & a Wide Reciever
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Why does a priest never get married?
Because they got nun to love them
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What do you call a nun lost in the woods?
A Roamin Catholic.
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What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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Why did the nun always wear a slip?
Sheer habit.
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What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order.
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Why are nuns like a brand new TV?
You need a knife to get in the box.
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Why do Nuns always wear Black &?
White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.
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What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)
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What is black, white, black, white...?
A nun falling down the stairs
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What do you call a nun that is lost?
A Roamin' Catholic
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What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?
One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here
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How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?
Nun.
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What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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What did the nun wear to the casino?
Her gambling habit.
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What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A nun falling down stairs
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What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy?
Slim to nun.
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How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
Nun.
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What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?
A nun falling down the stairs
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Which punchline do you like better?
What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit
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How many lovers do the religious have?
Nun!
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What kind of fun does a priest have?
Nun.
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What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?
A bad Habit. I'll see myself out.
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What's the definition of innocence?
A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.
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Why do nuns hate laundry day?
They always fall back on old habits.
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What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a javelin through her.
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What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?
One has hope in her soul...
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Why nuns don't wear bras?
God supports everything.
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What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent?
Nun the Wiser
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What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?
Non-habit forming
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What's a nuns favorite day of the week?
Sununday.
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What is the Pope's favorite type of woman?
Nun
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What do you call a nun in space?
Dead.
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How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?
Nun chucks.
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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
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What do you call two nuns playing a bongo?
A conundrum.
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How many Women Priest are there?
Nun.
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Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit?
It was a bad habit.
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What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?
If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".
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What do you call a nun using katana?
Nunja.
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What's black, white and red, and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A nun only serves one God.
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What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun
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What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?
Sister Matic !
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What do nuns use for skincare?
Extra virgin oil.
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What do they do when the Queen has a baby?
Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby Fire the dirty old Canon.
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Why did the nun swallow a needle?
So she could know what it's like to have a prick inside her.
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What do you call a nun that is going for a walk?
A roamin catholic
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How does a nun lose her virginity?
Dresses up as an altar boy
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What do you call a nun that sleep-walks?
a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit
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How many women fits in a monk monastery?
Nun.
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What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison?
A convent!
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What do you call a nun on the run?
A ROMAN CATHOLIC!
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How many nuns were at the library?
Absolutely nun
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What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?
a force of habit
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What kind of fun do priests have?
Nun
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Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?
Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D
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What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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Why do Nuns always wear the same thing?
It's a habit.
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Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?
He didn't like nuns.
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What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
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What do you call a Nun on a motorcycle?
A bad habit
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What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?
The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.
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Why did the nun call the Womens helpline?
because she was touched by Jesus.
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What do you call a nun that works for your company?
Nun of your business.
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What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?
The Bad Habit.
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What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?
Nun is better!
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What is black and white and screams?
A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.