Ocean Jokes
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What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?
A start.
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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?
A Whale Way
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Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back
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What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?
Bob
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What did the ocean said to the river when they parted ways ?
Nothing, he was just full of tears
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?
Bob
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What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?
They were both shot in Vegas!
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What'd the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out
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What is an obstetrician's favorite part of the ocean?
It's the sea section.
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Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?
Because of all the seaweed!
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Why did the hippie drown in the ocean?
He was too far out.
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What makes the ocean roar?
You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom
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What do you call 10'000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
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What do you use to cut the ocean?
A seasaw
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What did the ocean ask the scooba diver?
Water you doing here
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What is the most dishonest fish in the ocean?
A lionfish
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What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.
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What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start
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What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the fish cross the ocean?
Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.
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Why did the shark cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!
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What did the ocean say to the river?
You can run but you can't tide."
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Why'd the British man cross the ocean?
Freedom.
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What did the Ocean say to the Beach?
Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.
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Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?
She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.
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Why did the ocean take a bath?
It had a sandy bottom.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Bob
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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish
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What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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Why was the ocean always sad?
Because the beach never waved back.
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What "bus" crossed the ocean?
Columbus.
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What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?
Sea it and Wave :3
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How deep is the ocean?
A shark spooked him while he was surfing.
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What do you call... ...a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob
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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A drowning epileptic.
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What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Black people can't swim. -.-
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What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?
You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.
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What do you call a Mexican at the bottom of the ocean?
Pollution. What do you call every Mexican at the bottom of the ocean? Solution.
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What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine?
They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen.
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What did one ocean say to the other?
I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep.
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Why are oceans so salty?
Because the Earth is always tilted.
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What makes fish smell?
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."
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What do you call a dog with no legs in the ocean?
Bob Barker
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What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?
An acappellago
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Why did the chicken cross the ocean?
To get out-of-range of North Korea's nukes.
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Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?
So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."
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Why was the ocean so cranky?
You'd be cranky too if you had crabs on your bottom.
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Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?
It was an emergent sea.
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What do you call a pc that fell in the ocean?
A Dell rolling in the deep.
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Why did Daenerys cross the road?
To be that much closer to crossing the ocean.
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What do you call four Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean?
Quatro Sinko
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What kind of bus can cross the ocean?
A Columbus.
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What'd ya call 50 n*ggers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start. P.S: N*ggers=Naggers. I hate those guys. What did you think?? )
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What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy hair.
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What kind of chocolate swims in the ocean?
scubGodivas.
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What letter stands for the ocean?
The letter C.
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What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?
The ocean
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Where can you find an ocean without any water?
A: On a map!
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Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.
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What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !
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What do you call a Quadriplegic in the ocean?
Bob. *I'm so sorry*
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How do ghosts navigate the ocean?
They use boo-eys.
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What has two knees and swims in the ocean?
A Two-knee fish!.....
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What do you call 10 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
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What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the highest point in the ocean?
The Marijuanas Trench.
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What happens when you throw root beer in the ocean?
Root Beer Floats!
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What do you call a dead baby floating in the middle of the ocean?
Bait.
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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs in the middle of the ocean?
Bobby
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Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?
Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss
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What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?
A row bot.
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What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?
Sink-o de Mayo"
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What do you call a laptop in the ocean?
A Dell, rolling in the deep.
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What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean?
A Dell - Rolling In The Deep
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What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan?
The ocean.
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Why is the ocean always wet?
Because wherever she is, she's always getting rode.
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How do animals cross the ocean?
On a Gir-raft.
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What lives in the ocean is grouchy and hates neighbours ?
A hermit crab !
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Why won't the ocean let us drink its water?
Because it's too salty.
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Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible?
They're plane to sea
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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob
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Why did the plane crash into the ocean?
The pilot was a loaf of bread
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What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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Why did Greenpeace throw Wolf Blitzer in the ocean?
they wanted to restore the CNNomies
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What do you call a money lender who lives in the ocean?
A loan shark!
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What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs?
Bob.
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Why does the ocean have water?
Because the sky is
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Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean
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Why do we have oceans?
Because based god and acid god had a baby.
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Why do people always ask me for directions?
I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.
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What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
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What do you call 10,000 SJW's at the bottom of the ocean?
a good start.
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Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.