Opposite Jokes

  • What is the opposite of a Predator?

    a Postdator

  • Who's the opposite of Willem Dafoe?

    Willem DaFriend.

  • What is the opposite of a meme?

    A youyou

  • Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

    His life improved after he met the rock.

  • What's the opposite of the Sun?

    The Guardian.

  • What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?

    Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy

  • What is the opposite of Polygamy?

    gt What is the opposite of Polygamy Monotony

  • What is the opposite of irony?

    Wrinkly.

  • What's the opposite of Easter?

    Wester

  • What's the opposite of shell shock?

    Shell expectation

  • What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

    A hippocratic hypocrite.

  • Whats the opposite of under?

    Der.

  • What is the opposite of Karen Carpenter and John Denver duo?

    Two Live Crew

  • What's the opposite of Kathmandu?

    Dogwomandon't.

  • What's the opposite of effort?

    F it.

  • What two states are opposites?

    A: Maryland and Misury

  • What's the opposite of quantum physics?

    Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

  • What is the Opposite of Palindrom?

    NTSCindrom HAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHAHA

  • What's the opposite of ennui?

    Off-ui. from *Gilmore Girls*.

  • What's the opposite of pro?

    Con. So what's the opposite of progress

  • What is the opposite of a cold front?

    A warm back

  • What is the opposite of Turkish?

    Pig Latin

  • Whats the opposite of feminism?

    Common sense

  • What's the opposite of a pharmacist?

    A harmacist

  • Why do people buy smart cars?

    Because opposites attract.

  • What's the opposite of Adele?

    Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)

  • What is the opposite of peace?

    is the question.

  • What's the opposite of condescending?

    gif(http://25.media.tumblr.com/6b1b800af79638830eef30deb8163bbf/tumblrms1l531JGu1s29n2zo1250.gif)

  • What is the opposite of a protein?

    An amateur teen ( )

  • What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

    Christopher Walken

  • What's the opposite of Tim Walken?

    Tim Daly.

  • Whats the opposite of nickle back?

    Bill front (Money jokes i got em)

  • What do you call the opposite of a cynic?

    a dupe.

  • What's the opposite of an antijoke?

    An unclejoke

  • What is the opposite of an iPad Mini?

    A Maxi Pad

  • What's the opposite of critical thinking?

    Critical theory.

  • What is the opposite of /r/upliftingnews?

    r/news

  • What's the opposite of funny?

    answer: Jay Leno

  • What's the opposite of 4chan?

    4chad

  • What's the opposite of the word uncle-off-her?

    It's an aunt- -him.

  • What's the opposite of marshmellow?

    Well, I guess it would be marshmadness

  • What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

    Soba noodles!

  • What is the opposite of Dominoes?

    Domi does not know....

  • What is the opposite of an autist?

    A socialist.

  • What is the opposite of progress?

    colgatereally)Congress.

  • What's the opposite of "lily white"?

    A racist term of some sort.

  • What's the opposite of progress?

    congress.

  • What is the opposite of an autistic?

    What is the opposite of an autistic? A Socialist.

  • What is the opposite of pro?

    Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

  • Why do people love their smartphones so much?

    Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

  • What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

    Stephen Talking.

  • What's the opposite of a somersault?

    A winter pepper.

  • What is the opposite of Imagination?

    I have no idea.

  • What's the opposite of evening?

    unevening.

  • What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

    Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)

  • What is the opposite of paranoia?

    Thinking you are following someone.

  • What's the opposite of a hipster?

    A napster

  • What's the opposite of running away and getting married?

    Anteloping.

  • What is the opposite of leapfrog?

    Toadstool