P Jokes

  • What's an author's favorite drink?

    Tequila Mockingbird. (Yes I know it's horrible :P)

  • Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

    Because the 'P' is silent

  • What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger?

    Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately. :p

  • Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

    He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

  • Why did the printer have wet ink?

    Because it couldn't control P

  • What can I get you Mr. President?


  • What begins with P and ends with orn?

    Popcorn, of course!

  • Why isn't energy made of atoms?

    It doesn't matter (go ahead and down vote :P)

  • How do u make a Pirate angry?

    Take the P out of him.

  • What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?


  • Who is a golfers favorite singer?

    birdy :P

  • How can we keep our school Clean?

    Student : By Staying at home. :p

  • What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

    It's "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!

  • How do you foil a plan?

    p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

  • What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

    one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

  • What's a pirate's favourite letter?

    A P. Because it's like an ARR, but it's missing a leg.

  • Why did the Soviet union fail?

    Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P

  • What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

    get in the car :P

  • What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

    They're not infallible

  • Why couldn't R get to P?

    He had to wait in a Q!

  • Why was 'EE' acting so funny?

    He needed to 'P'

  • What did the abortionist have for breakfast?

    Scrambled eggs =p

  • What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

    hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING ! ! !

  • Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

    Because the P is silent.

  • What does a pterodactyl have in common with a urinal?

    P in front of it

  • Why was the 'P' irate?

    Because his peg leg made him go 'R'

  • Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house?

    It swept with his girlfriend :P

  • How'd you know?

    P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good

  • Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

    Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

  • What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

    What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

  • Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom?

    Their P is silent.

  • Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

    Because he felt like bacon. :P

  • Why are girls so hot?

    because they lay out in the sun so much lol :P

  • What starts with "p," ends with "s," and is really long?


  • Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

    Because their p is quiet.

  • What starts with P and ends with orn?


  • What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

    The Post Office

  • What are a musician's favourite letters?

    P and O.

  • Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

    The p is silent.

  • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

    The p is silent.

  • What's the difference between O and Q?

    One had to P.

  • What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

    A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

  • What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

    There is no sound... The P is silent.

  • What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

    Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

  • What is the pH of a public pool?

    All P

  • Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

    He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

  • How do you get Lady Gaga attention?

    P-p-p-poke her face.