Pair Jokes
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What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument?
Two-Baaas.
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Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?
I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!
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What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?
Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell
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Why did Joseph Goebbels own a pair of binoculars?
For proper gander purposes.
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How was Rome split in half?
With a pair of Caesars...
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Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
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Why were the suspenders arrested?
A: For holding up a pair of pants.
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Why did the gambler think he was in heaven?
He found his pair a' dice!
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one.
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How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?
A: Depressed.
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What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?
A: A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans
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What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?
An erection.
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Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit?
All the pairs of floating eyes
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Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus?
At a Pair of Docks
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What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers! :D
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Why did the belt go to prison?
He held up a pair of pants!
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Why did the belt get arrested?
Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.
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What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?
A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?
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Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?
Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.
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What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?
Shoe.
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I dropped a pear in my car this morning.
You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.
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How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
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What do you call a pair of attractive succubi?
Double D-Mons
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Why do toucans only go camping in pairs?
So they can bring two canopies.
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How was the Roman Empire cut in two?
With a pair of Caesars.
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What's below the Pyrenees?
A pair of ankles
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Why did the belt get locked up?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
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Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case he gets a hole in one!
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What do you call a pair of nervous wigwams?
Too tense.
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Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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What do you call a pair of stubborn testicles?
A refuse sack.
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What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?
A pair of ducks.
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What do a pair of briefs and a cheap hotel have in common?
No ballroom.
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What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?
Just a pair 'a normal pants.
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What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it
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What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?
Hush puppies !
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What do you call two doctors with the same career?
Pair of medics.
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Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?
The knife just wasn't cutting it.
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Why do nuns always travel in pairs?
Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.
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What would you call two banana skins ?
A pair of slippers.
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Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?
To buy another pair of AirPods.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A: A pair of Re-bachs.
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Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?
You might get a hole in one.
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Why doesn't The Rock just tell us what he's cooking?
I can't pair wines like this.
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Why can't two elephants go swimming?
They only have one pair of trunks.
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Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?
A pair of legs.
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What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Bell-bottoms!
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How did the Romans split up their empire?
With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )
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What do you call a pair of twins who live together?
Womb-mates"
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How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel?
No ballroom
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What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ?
Antteneye !
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Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?
He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
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How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?
They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"
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What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs?
A pair of polegics!
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How many tropical Birds Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?
Well, turns out one is not enough, but if you pair it, two can.
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What's the difference between a pair of shoes and a ginger girl?
You try your best to keep your shoes from getting wet when you go to town.
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Why can't you have two Apple watches?
Because then it would be a pair (pear)!
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What do you say when you find two banana peels together?
Answer: A pair of slipper
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Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?
In case you get a hole in one!
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What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians?
A paramedic(s)!
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What makes an ideal present for a monster?
Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.
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What do you call a pair of snakeskin trousers?
Serpants.
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What's better than a paradox?
A pair of nurses
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What do you call a slightly incomplete Yahtzee set?
Pair o' Dice Lost"
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Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
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What do you call two pears?
A pair.
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What pair of shoes could the ginger only wear?
The pair with no sole.
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Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?
In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)
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Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?
To-mate-toes!
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What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common?
They both have flies on them.
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What do you call two Filipino pilots?
A pair of pliers
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Why did the suspenders get arrested?
A: Because they held up a pair of pants.
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Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?
Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.
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What would you call two bananas?
A pair of slippers.
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What do you call two guys on a pair of curtains?
Kurt n Rod.
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How do you divide old Rome?
Using a pair of Caesars.
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What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?
The hypotenuse.
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Why are they called Tuna Fish?
Because they don't swim in pairs. Are there two of those fish? Nahhh.