Pant Jokes
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What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?
Civic doody.
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Why did the snowman pull down his pants?
Because he saw the snowblower coming
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Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one
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Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?
In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)
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What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.
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How do you think his pants fit him?
Like a glove.
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What's wrinkly and hangs out your pants?
Your mother.
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Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?
Incase he gets a hole in one
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What type of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, denim, denim.
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What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?
It's driving me nuts!"
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Why did Frosty drop his pants?
Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.
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Why no pants on?
We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell
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Why bro?
Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF
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What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants?
Where my knickers at "
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Why wouldn't the man dance?
His pants had no ballroom.
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What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?
Little boys pants half off.
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What's Mario's favorite type of pants?
DenimDenimDenim*
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What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair?
Pants.
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Why, Bro?
B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF
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What do clouds wear under their pants?
Thunderwear!
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What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?
Denim denim denim...denim denim demin I'll see myself out now...thank you
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What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?
He kilt himself
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What did the tree do when he got really nervous?
He SOILed his pants I'llseemyselfout...
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What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?
Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"
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Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?
He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
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What pants do ghosts wear?
BOO jeans.
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What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?
The pirate says, "Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"
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What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?
My iPhone 6
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How do you tell when a girl really wants you?
When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.
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Why did the golfer wear two pants?
He got a hole in one
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Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to
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What does an helicopter and pants have in common?
They both moust go down in emergency.
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Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?
Because they shared genes!
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What film do you get when you pull your pants down?
Free Willy
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Where do I put my pants?
He said, "Over there by mine."
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What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?
Undy-terd.
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What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow?
Your pants are on backwards
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What kind of pants does Mario wear to work?
Denim denim denim p
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What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?
Just a pair 'a normal pants.
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Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
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What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?
Metamucil
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What's the first rule here, boys?
Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.
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What is the worst type of sand to have in your pants?
Sandusky
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When is a fairy NOT a fairy?
When its down your pants then its a goblin!
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Why is a dog so warm in Summer?
He wears a coat and pants.
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What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?
Arrrh, it's driving me nuts
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Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?
You might get a hole in one.
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What does a tight pair of pants and a cheap motel have in common?
No ballroom.
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What's worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo jeans.
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
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Why don't chickens wear pants?
Because their pecker is on their face.. Thank you, good night!
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What does a dog do that you step in?
Pants.
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What do you call pants that can fly?
Peter Pants I just made it up
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Why doesn't a rooster wear pants?
Because his pecker is on his head
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What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.
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What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?
Denim denim denim.
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Why did the belt go to prison?
He held up a pair of pants!
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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?
Me: I peed my pants.
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What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?
Shorts!
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Why do electricians wear pants?
Because they hate shorts.
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Who is that walking up my driveway?
Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."
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What does a dog do that a man steps in?
Pants
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Why did the Priest go to Walmart?
Because the little boys pants were half off.
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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
They pull up their pants.
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What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?
ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"
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How many angels can a pinhead dance on?
To hold up their pants.
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What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?
Argh it's driving me nuts!"
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Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?
Cause all their pants are half-off
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What did the pirate say with the steering wheel in his pants?
Arrgh, it's driving me nuts!
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What's the difference between someone who can mend your pants quick and a famous singer?
One of them is a swift tailor.
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What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?
Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?
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What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants?
Denim, Denim, Denim
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Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
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What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by?
Pull down his pants.
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How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?
He used an eyepatch
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Why do blonde's get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.
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What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?
Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...
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What has 100 legs but can't walk?
Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it
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What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?
She pulled her pants up.
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What's the sharpest thing in the word?
A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.
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What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?
Car Keys
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How bad is it to poop your pants?
It Depends
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Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
To keep their pants up.
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What's 6" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants??
My iPhone 6.
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Why did the belt get arrested?
Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.
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What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear?
Denim denim denim.
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How do yo get to Sesame Street?
Unzip my pants and ask big bird
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?
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What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?
Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim
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What type of pants do Japanese people wear?
Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)
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What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common?
Pants 50% off
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Why did the belt get locked up?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
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Why is wrestling stupid?
It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....
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What's the difference between a priest and his dog?
One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.
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How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?
They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out...
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What's a hot dog's favorite article of clothing?
Pants
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How do those even fit in your pants?
He replied "They fit like a glove."
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What do I have?
Someone else's pants.
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What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?
Pants.
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What kind of pants does Mario wear?
Denim Denim. Denim
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What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?
Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"
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What did the shirt say to the pants?
What's up, britches.
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What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?
Denim denim denim
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Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha
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How do your pants fit?
The man responded, "Like a glove".
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What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?
Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.
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Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case he gets a hole in one!
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What is Marios favorite type of pants?
Denim Denim Denim
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Why did the bishop love Walmart?
Coz the boys pants are all half off.
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Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?
Because the snowblower was coming.
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What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?
YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"
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Why did the snowman take his pants off?
He heard the snow blower was coming.
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Why were the suspenders arrested?
A: For holding up a pair of pants.
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Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow-blower was coming.
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What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?
Ones a pant in the country the others a...
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Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?
Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.
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Why did the python return his pants?
They were too constricting.
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What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ?
Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..
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Where I should put my pants?
He replied "Over there next to mine."
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Why did the suspenders get arrested?
A: Because they held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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What did the shoes say to the pants?
What up, britches?
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When is an aardvark jumpy?
When he's got ants in his pants!
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What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired?
Pants.
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What do Wal mart and priests have in common?
They both have boys pants half off. I'm going to hell lol
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When does a Smurf pull his pants down?
Once in a blue moon.
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What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?
She peed her pants (read out loud)
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What are calories?
Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night
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Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?
So the can smell like big girls!
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What do Pentecostals and Nudists have in common?
Neither can wear pants
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Why can't Democrats sell pants?
They believe in a single-pair system.
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Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
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What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?
I didn't cottage in my pants
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Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?
The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!"
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What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Bell-bottoms!
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What's the best way to make pants last?
Make the jacket first.
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How do you get elected president of my pants?
By the vote of the Erectional College...
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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?
A-hem!
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How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?
Now, I tweet them
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What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?
A dire rhetoric.
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How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?
A: Depressed.
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What type of pants do you need to start a car?
Cargo pants
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Why did the snowman have his pants down?
Because he heard the snowblower was coming.