Pizza Jokes
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Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza?
Because there wasn't mushroom on it.
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Why doesn't God like pizza?
Because he doesn't exist.
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What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?
A pizza can feed a family.
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What kind of pizza do pilots like?
Plain.
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What were the last two pizzas delivered to the world trade centers?
Two large planes
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What's the easiest way to pay a musician?
Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza
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What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an Art History degree?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
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What is the dankest kind of pizza?
Pepe-roni
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
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What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza?
Even if it is cold it's still good.
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What did one pizza tell the other pizza?
A cheesy pun.
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What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?
You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.
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What's the definition of the perfect woman?
Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight.
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How do Mexicans cut their pizza?
Little Caesars
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How do you get an art major off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza!
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What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?
I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"
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Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?
Most people like the idea of pizza better.
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What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?
Two plains.
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What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?
Little Seizures...
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Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?
I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...
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What is the volume of pizza?
Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.
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What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?
A pepperonly pizza!
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Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?
Because he's shellfish!
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What do Romans use to cut their pizza?
Little Caesars.
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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?
A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)
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How long will the pizza be?
The waiter replies "About 12 inches."
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What do you call pizza that isn't yours?
Impersonal pizza
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What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter?
Wanna pizza me
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What do dwarves use to cut their pizza?
Little Caesars
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What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four
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How do you get a hippie off your door step?
Pay for the pizza and close the door.
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When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?
I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."
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How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?
With Little Caesars
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What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?
One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.
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What's the difference between Pizza and your opinion?
I asked for Pizza #KingOfjokes
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Where do epileptics get pizza?
Little Seizures.
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What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like?
Little seizures.
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How do you cut pizza?
With Little Ceasar's.
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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.
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How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?
Pay for the pizza
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Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?
Just order them without liver."
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What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up Pizza.
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What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?
2 large planes
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How fast can you order a pizza?
HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT
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How many calls do I get?
cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel
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What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?
Tomato-saurus
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What kind of pizzas can tell the future?
Medium Pizzas
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How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?
Tip him for the pizza.
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What is wrong with people?
Have they never had pizza
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What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?
DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.
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What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza?
Little Caesars
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What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?
Little Caesers
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How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?
Just pay for your pizza.
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What kind of pizza does Buddha like?
One with everything.
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What do men and pizza have in common?
That you call them and in 10minutes you have them h...
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Why is there no volume control on the microwave?
Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza
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How does a Mexican cut their pizza?
Little Caesars
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How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
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What do call you someone who feeds on comatose patients and pizza?
A vegetarian.
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What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?
Make me one with everything."
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What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order?
one with everything
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Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?
Because they rain supreme.
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How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?
Little Ceasars
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What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?
You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.
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How do hispanics cut a pizza?
Little Caesars
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What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?
Little Caesars.
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What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?
Little Caesar's
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Where do epileptic midgets go for pizza?
Little Caeser's
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What do people and pizza have in common?
If they're black, they can't feed a family.
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How did King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.
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Why do they write PIZZA all over the box?
what else could possibly be in there
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How do Mexicans cut pizza?
Little Caesars (say it out loud)
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How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp, and even.
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate pizza before it was cool.
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What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center?
Two large plains.
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What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza?
The pizza can feed a family.
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What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?
Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.
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What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?
PI Z Z A
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What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?
Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)
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Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?
Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.
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What do a pizza and this joke have in common?
They're both cheesy.
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What pizza chain does Michael J. Fox drive for?
No, not Shakey's you insensitive person. Besides having a crippling disability rendering him unable to drive without risk of damage to the pizza, he is also a B-list celebrity worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars.
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What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?
You can't top a good pizza joke.
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What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?
Pupperoni
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What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?
A Piecycle.
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What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?
Chjesus Chrust *Thanks I will show myself out*
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Who delivers pizza in the hood?
Popo John's
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What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?
Lil Caesars
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What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?
Heperoni
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What was the last pizza the twin towers had?
A plane one.
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Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?
SNOE
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Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?
She is allergic to nuts.
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What food is given to ebola patients?
Pizza because it can be slipped under the door.
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What beer goes best with pizza?
Pepper-Peroni
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What toppings?
Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza" "Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"
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What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
Your teeth.
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Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?
Because it was on the house.
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What's the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes *can't be topped!*
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What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't shoot up a school.
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What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?
You wanna pizza me !
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What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?
Little Caesars!