Point Jokes

  • How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

    Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

  • Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

    Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

  • Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

    They're usually the elephant in the room

  • Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

    He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

  • Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

    Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

  • What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement?

    an erection that points north.

  • Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?

    Because they had a point

  • Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

    Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

  • What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

    The knife has a point.

  • How many redditors does it take to point out a repost?

    All of them.

  • Why do composers win debates?

    Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

  • Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?

    Because there's no point in it.

  • What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?

    A pencil has a point.

  • What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ?

    A triangle has three points

  • What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

    To keep their hats pointed.

  • Why did Hillary cross the road?

    What difference, at this point, does it make?

  • What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

    Stop going in circles and get to the point.

  • Why did the witch lose her way?

    Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.

  • How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

    Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

  • How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.

  • Why did the guy not draw a circle?

    Because there was no point.

  • What did the Math book say to the pencil?

    I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

  • How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?


  • What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

    At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

  • Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

    because they cant find the point.

  • Why does nobody talk to circles?

    Because there is no point!

  • What's the different between a knife and a feminist?

    A knife has a point

  • What is the point of owning a fish?

    They are just furniture with the ability to die.

  • Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

    The pencil is better. It has a point.

  • How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

  • What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?

    I can't hear you, but I can see your point

  • When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

    Bottom of the fifth, of course.

  • What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

    I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

  • What is long and yellow and always points north?

    A magnetic banana.

  • When is a dog most impolite?

    When he points.

  • What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?

    Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"

  • Whats the best thing on the menu?

    Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

  • How do you call it when an egg is on point?

    Egg zactly!

  • How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

  • Who run da world?

    points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels

  • What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

    You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point.

  • Why should you not argue with a decimal?

    Because decimals always have a point.

  • Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

    To throw the Roadrunner off.

  • What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

    Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

  • Why did the women cross the road?

    Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!

  • Why don't you have kids?

    points to dead cactus*

  • What's yellow and always points to the north?

    A magnetic banana.

  • What's the point?

    You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.

  • Whats the difference between a baby and a feminist?

    At some point in its life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.

  • Why buy an invisible knife?

    I don't see the point

  • Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

    Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

  • Why couldn't Helen Keller vote?

    She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.

  • What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

    My newt.

  • Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

    Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

  • Where does it hurt?

    Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

  • What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

    Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

  • What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

    At some point they turned into Mummys

  • What's the point of going to somebodys funeral?

    It's not like they are coming to yours.

  • Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

    He couldn't see the point.

  • Why did the blind kid fail geometry?

    He didnt see the point.

  • Why's the couch smell like pee?

    Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

  • What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

    Someone who points out the obvious.

  • Why don't witches wear a flat cap?

    There's no point to it

  • Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

    Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now