Point Jokes
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How many redditors does it take to get a joke?
Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.
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Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!
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Why are Republicans so easy to point out?
They're usually the elephant in the room
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Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?
He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5
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Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?
Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.
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What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement?
an erection that points north.
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Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines?
Because they had a point
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Why did the blind man use chopsticks?
Because he couldn't see the point in forks.
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What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?
The knife has a point.
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How many redditors does it take to point out a repost?
All of them.
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Why do composers win debates?
Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.
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Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?
Because there's no point in it.
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What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?
A pencil has a point.
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What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United ?
A triangle has three points
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What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
To keep their hats pointed.
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Why did Hillary cross the road?
What difference, at this point, does it make?
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What did the pencil say to the sharpener?
Stop going in circles and get to the point.
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Why did the witch lose her way?
Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.
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How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?
Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.
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How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don't see the point and just sit in the dark.
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Why did the guy not draw a circle?
Because there was no point.
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What did the Math book say to the pencil?
I see your point I've got a lot of problems.
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How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?
Fore.
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What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?
At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.
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Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?
because they cant find the point.
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Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
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What's the different between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point
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What is the point of owning a fish?
They are just furniture with the ability to die.
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Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?
The pencil is better. It has a point.
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How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.
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What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?
I can't hear you, but I can see your point
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When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?
Bottom of the fifth, of course.
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What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?
I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point
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What is long and yellow and always points north?
A magnetic banana.
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When is a dog most impolite?
When he points.
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What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?
Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"
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Whats the best thing on the menu?
Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*
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How do you call it when an egg is on point?
Egg zactly!
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How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.
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Who run da world?
points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels
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What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the point.
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Why should you not argue with a decimal?
Because decimals always have a point.
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Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?
To throw the Roadrunner off.
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What was the point in making your car louder, bro?
Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic
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Why did the women cross the road?
Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!
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Why don't you have kids?
points to dead cactus*
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What's yellow and always points to the north?
A magnetic banana.
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What's the point?
You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make Don't answer that.
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Whats the difference between a baby and a feminist?
At some point in its life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.
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Why buy an invisible knife?
I don't see the point
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Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?
Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."
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Why couldn't Helen Keller vote?
She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.
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What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?
My newt.
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Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
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Where does it hurt?
Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*
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What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part
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What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?
At some point they turned into Mummys
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What's the point of going to somebodys funeral?
It's not like they are coming to yours.
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Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?
He couldn't see the point.
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Why did the blind kid fail geometry?
He didnt see the point.
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Why's the couch smell like pee?
Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."
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What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
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Why don't witches wear a flat cap?
There's no point to it
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Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?
Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now