Potato Jokes
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What is the difference between a human and a potato?
Time
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What's the difference between a chickpea and a potato?
You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you.
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What kind of TB do potatoes get?
culosis.
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Why is it hard to buy potatoes on the black market?
Because there are eyes everywhere!
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What do you call a potato with no limbs?
An amputater
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What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?
Anyone can mash potatoes
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What do you call a potato that had too much pot?
A baked potato
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What did the barber say to the Potato?
You've got eyes on the back of your head!"
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How did the potato get back from the party?
It booked a Tuber.
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What does a tomato and a potato have in common?
Both are red,except from the potato.
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What did the knife say to the potato?
Now I've got to cut you.
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What do call a potato that knows martial arts?
Jacket Chan
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What's the difference between a chick pea and potato?
I've never paid $50 to have a potato on my face.
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What do you call a mean Potato?
A Dictator.
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Why Latvian man did cross road?
Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.
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How much do the potatoes cost?
How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"
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What do you get when you sit on a potato?
A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)
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What do you call a potato in space?
Spudnik
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What did the potato say to his lover?
You have amazing eyes.
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What did the potato name his son?
Chip. Sorry.
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What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?
A Hesi-tater
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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?
A prestidigitator tot!
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What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?
Anything you want, He can't hear you!
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What Does Potato Do?
Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips
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What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?
Your Mother.
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What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?
Not knowing how to use a coathanger...
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What do you call a potato that's high?
A baked potato.(http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaicaimages/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)
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What's an Irish seven-course meal?
A six-pack and a potato
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What does a tire made of potatoes have?
An inner tuber.
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Why is Latvian cross road?
Latvian see potato, but when cross is only secret police.
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How does a potato keep up with it's friends?
With Google chromosome+
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How many Latvians does it take to screw a lightbulb?
Is dark. Bulb is potato.
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Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?
Because they find me more appealing.
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What's an Irish seven course meal?
A six pack and a potato
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Why did Steve fall off the swing?
Because he was a potato!
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What do you get when you cross a foot with cookware?
Potato!
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What do you call a potato that's also a sports fan?
A spec-tator!
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How can you tell if a potato is baked?
It's are all red and glossy.
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What do the Irish hate more than potatoes?
No potatoes.
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What do you get when a truck full of potatoes drives into kindergarten full of kids?
Moussaka
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What did the potato ask the cow?
Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.
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What do you call a potato with one oar?
A row-tater.
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How did you find the steak, sir?
The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."
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How did you find your steak sir?
Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!
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Where is potatoes?
This winter is very cold. Family is starve.
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What do you call a seven course Irish meal?
A 6-pack and a potato.
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How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man?
None
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What is an Irish 7 course meal?
A six pack and a potato
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What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?
A friar? A chip monk?
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What did they used to be made from before the 1960s?
Potatoes
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What do you call a potato from Colorado?
A baked potato
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What do a totalitarian mallard and a potato in an air vent have in common?
They're both duct-taters (sorry)
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How does Al Gore spell potato?
A: T-A-T-E-R.
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What's the difference between friends and potatoes?
Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.
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Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?
Because it was baked.
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Why do dentists like potatoes?
Because they are so filling.
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What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle
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What do you call a dad without jeans?
A potato.
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What do you call a potato on the street corner?
Idaho
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What's in an Irish 7 course meal?
A 6 pack and a potato.
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What do you call a potato that thinks he is in charge?
A Dictator
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Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?
Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.
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What do you call a potato who puts videos online?
A Youtuber
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Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato?
Signing the legal guardian paperwork
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What's the only disease a potato can get?
tuber-culosis
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Why shouldn't you tell secrets on the farm?
The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk.
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Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.
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What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?
A dictator.