Rain Jokes

  • Why did it rain on Christmas Eve?

    Because of Santa and his Raindeer.

  • Why do Native Americans make the best strippers?

    Their dancing can make it rain.

  • What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?

    A furrycanine

  • What do parliament and Ukrainian skies have in common?

    They're both raining bodies

  • Why were the vets and pounds mad?

    It was raining cats and dogs

  • What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

    One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

  • Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

    Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

  • Why don't women need umbrellas?

    Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

  • What to do if you run over a black man in the rain?

    Well, you have an hour before the rain dries...

  • Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

    Because it was raining cats and dogs. :D

  • Why does rain make people sad?

    Because they're in a depression.

  • Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April?

    Because April showers, bring May flowers!

  • Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

    To stop getting wet !

  • What do you call dangerous precipitation?

    A rain of terror

  • Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

    In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

  • What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

    A wet one.

  • What does a ghost wear when it's raining?


  • What do the trees say when it rains?

    Oh, what a relief!

  • What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

    Paddy o' Furniture

  • Why didn't any of them get wet?

    It wasn't raining.

  • What kind of bear likes the rain?

    A drizzley bear.

  • Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

    Toowet Towoo

  • What's grey stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ?

    An elephant with an umbrella !

  • Which wrestler's weakness is the rain?

    Dwayne Johnson

  • What do snake charmers do in the rain?

    Turn on their windshield vipers.

  • Why do Native Americans hate it when it rains in April?

    Because it brings Mayflowers.

  • When did you first miss it dear?

    Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

  • What type of sense of humor does rain have?

    A very wet sense of humor

  • When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky?

    When it's raining Datsun cogs.

  • Why do cows lie down in the rain?

    To keep each udder dry.

  • What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends?

    It's raining Ken, hallelujah....

  • What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain?

    Dago wop wop wop

  • What do lovesick owls say when it's raining?


  • Why don't owls make love in the rain?

    Because it's too wet to woo.

  • What do owls sing when it is raining ?

    Too wet to woo' !

  • Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

    Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

  • Why do cows huddle together when it rains?

    To keep each udder dry Courtesy of my significant other

  • Why are Native American strippers the best?

    When they dance they make it rain.

  • How do rain drops marry?

    They coalesce

  • Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

    Because there was a 50% chance of rain

  • How do you know when it is raining cats and dogs?

    There are poodles everywhere!

  • What happens to a laffy taffy joke in the rain?

    It makes me laugh a little bit, in the rain.

  • Why do clouds make good Kings?

    Because they have rain over every country in the world.

  • What do you wear when it's raining homophobia?

    A straight jacket.

  • What happens after it rains in gotham city?

    a waynebow.

  • Why did the haunted house not like rain?

    A: Because it dampened his spirits.

  • Why are gangstas afraid of the rain?

    Cuz they roofless.

  • How do you do that?

    I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet I know it's raining!

  • What did the Goat living in Manama say when it starting raining?


  • Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

    Because they rain supreme.

  • Why do black people like the rain?

    For drizzle.

  • What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

    Both are a glaze

  • Why is 9 crying?

    me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep

  • Why did the cloud get $10M for having a fight?

    He was the raining champion.

  • What does Gwen Stefani say when it rains a lot in California?

    No Drought.**

  • Why can't owls breed in the rain?

    It's too wet to woo.

  • Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?

    Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.

  • What gets less rain than the Sahara Desert?

    The sun!

  • Whats the difference between an environmentalist and a dog sitting in the rain?

    eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging.

  • What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

    Patty O'Furniture.

  • What do you call a bear that's been in the rain?

    A drizzly bear, of course

  • What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

    I told you it would rain, dear.

  • What do you call two Mormons caught in the rain?

    Washing your whites on a rinsed cycle.

  • Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

    It makes their makeup run.

  • What type of curry sets fire to the rain?


  • What's worse than raining buckets?

    A) Hailing taxis!

  • What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ?

    An umbrellaphant !

  • What do you call a bear in the rain?

    A drizzly bear.

  • Why do Native Americans make good strippers?

    No matter where they are, they'll always make it rain when they dance.

  • What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky?

    The coming of the Lord.

  • How do poor people make it rain?

    They don't.

  • What's worse than raining cats and dogs?


  • What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain?


  • What did the three-legged horse do when it started to rain?

    It ran to the unstable.

  • What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?

    The ocean

  • What do you call a deer that likes rain?

    A rain-deer. I know it's terrible.

  • What is worse than raining cats and dogs ?

    Raining elephants !

  • Why are native americans the best strippers?

    Because when they dance they make it rain.

  • Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers?

    Because when they dance, they make it rain.

  • What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common?

    They both want to make it rain.

  • Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road?

    he missed the rains down in africa

  • What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

    A: Stegosaur-rust!

  • When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?

    When it's raining cats and dogs !