Redneck Jokes
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What does NASCAR really stand for?
Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
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What's the worst part about being a redneck?
Having to see your ex at family gatherings.
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What kind of bread do Rednecks like?
Inbred
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What is the only word that a redneck will capitalise?
Punishment.
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How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?
A: Pretty hot
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What do rednecks say after they broke up?
We can still be brother and sister.
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How do you suffocate a redneck?
Tape his mouth shut.
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What does a pimp and a redneck have on common?
They both like to throw a ho-down.
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What's the difference between a redneck, and a SJW?
A redneck's trigger actually does something
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Why do rednecks act like such morons?
Who says they're acting "
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How do you know a redneck invented the toothbrush?
If it where anyone else it woulda been called a teethbrush
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Why are the busiest paleontologists always rednecks?
Because they are always caught up in some type of relative dating.
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What does a redneck do on Halloween?
Pumpkin
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Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham?
Because they're inbred.
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Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?
So he can cut corners.
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Why do rednecks love sandwiches?
Because they're inbred too.
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What does a redneck and yeast have in common?
They are both "in-bread" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.
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What did the redneck say to his sister?
Oooh yeah, baby!
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What did the redneck get on his SAT?
Drool.
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How do you get two rednecks to play Banjo in unison?
Shoot the first one.
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What do you call a redneck with two sheep?
A Pimp
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What do rednecks do on Halloween?
They pump kin.
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Why is it so difficult to convict a redneck?
Because they all have the same DNA and no dental records.
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Why do rednecks hate math?
Integration.
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What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin?
She quits counting.
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How do you make a sheep jump off a cliff?
Put a redneck behind it.
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What's the last thing a Redneck says before he dies?
Watch this!
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How do redneck Na'vi get their skin tone?
Blue Genes... I'll be here all week
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What do two rednecks say to each other after a break up?
Let's go back to being cousins.
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What are the famous last words of a redneck?
Hey ya'll, watch this!"
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Why do rednecks love fall?
Because it's the only time of year they can pump kin.
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Why does a redneck find his cousin more attractive than a stranger?
Because it's all relative.
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What do you call a redneck with a functioning car?
Lucky
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How do you castrate a redneck?
Kick his sister's jaw in.
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What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?
They both know how to throw a good hoe down.
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What do you call it when you said a redneck on fire?
A firecracker
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Why do rednecks like the doggie position?
That way they can both watch wrestling.
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What did the redneck say when he lost his virginity?
Thanks mum xD
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What did the redneck say to the Frenchman?
You don't speak English fourchette!
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Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff?
He wanted to test out his new air brakes.
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What does a redneck do when he misses his girlfriend?
Reload, take better aim.
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What did one redneck say to the other?
If you were anymore inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
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How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?
He gets her Dawn.
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How can a redneck tell his twin sisters apart?
By taste.
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What do rednecks call the BATF?
The Bureau of All Things Fine.
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What does a redneck Buddhist believe in?
Reintarnation.
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What Does A Redneck Call It When He Visits His Cousin Outside His Town?
Entering the friend zone.
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What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
ya'll watch this!
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What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?
When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.
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Why were all the rednecks sitting around an ordinary potato waiting for it to talk?
It was a CommonTater I just made this up I swear
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What do you call a redneck virgin?
A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers
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How do you know a redneck invented the tooth brush?
We would have called it a teeth brush
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How do you spell Mississippi?
Redneck: Which one The river or the state
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Why do rednecks make the best sandwiches?
Because they are in bread.
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How can you tell a redneck has got money?
He gems out his dip cup
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Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers?
Because they are in bread.
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What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?
Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper
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What does a redneck say for foreplay?
Brace yourself, Linda-Lou"
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What do yeast and a redneck have in common?
They're both usually found with beer and inbred. -&y (written by moi)
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What do a redneck and hippie have in common?
They both hate the government.
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What would be a good dating site for rednecks ?
MyHeritage.com
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Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?
Because they're the largest re-tail-er
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What's a rednecks favorite part of archaology?
Relative dating
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Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...?
He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp.
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What do two rednecks getting divorced and a tornado have in common?
Someone is going to lose a trailer.
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What is 30 feet long and has 42 teeth?
A bus full of rednecks
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What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?
GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!
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What did the redneck say to his ex?
Can we still be cousins?"
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What did the redneck get on his SATs?
Barbecue sauce.
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What's the difference between a zombie and a redneck?
One is a brainless, dirty, slow moving abomination, and the other is a zombie.