Refuse Jokes

  • What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina?

    The X-Men

  • Why don't anarchists accept the metric system?

    They refuse to have liters.

  • How do you confuse a feminist?

    Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

  • Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

    He refused to integrate.

  • Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

    It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

  • Why did the woman refuse to pay for her Brazilian waxing?

    A: Because it was a total rip-off.

  • What do you call a guy who refuses to serve people from Finland at his bar?

    A man with unfinnished buisness.

  • What do you call a pair of stubborn testicles?

    A refuse sack.

  • Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch?

    Because he had Somalia.

  • Why do Congo gamers refuse to play with Belgians?

    They're afraid of getting owned

  • Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

    Because she'd never be able to learn the language

  • Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

    It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

  • Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

    He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

  • What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

    A Private Tutor.

  • What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop?

    A joggernaut.

  • When Lil John goes to a hotel and they ask him if he wants turn down service, does he refuse?

    That's all.

  • Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

    He hates camping

  • What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?

    Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

  • Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?

    Because they keep stepping on the string.

  • Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

    Because he is an x-boxer

  • What is the difference between ID and ED?

    One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

  • Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

    She refused to swallow animal by-products.

  • Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

    He wanted to transcend dental medication.

  • Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

    Cause Allies don't like axis powers

  • Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

    Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

  • Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

    Because he said he was pro Bono.

  • What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

    Stop playing it cagey!

  • What do you get when someone refuses to pay the bills?

    A Greek.

  • Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

    He needed places to hide the bodies.

  • Why did he refuse help?

    He was in The Nile

  • What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

    Udder chaos!

  • What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?


  • Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

    Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

  • Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

    because they all refused to make sandwiches.

  • Why did the clown refuse to juggle?

    He didn't have the balls to do it.

  • Why does Michael Phelps refuse to aid his teammates in preparing for the Olympics?

    He only Phelps himself.

  • Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?

    Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.

  • What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

    Rink injustice!

  • What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

    Their pacifists

  • What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles?

    The pro-lease department

  • Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

    They refuse to look at the silver lining.

  • Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

    They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

  • Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

    Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask )

  • What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight?

    A sithy.

  • Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

    He wanted to transcend dental medication.

  • Why did the airport luggage checker refuse to date the depressed man?

    he had to much baggage

  • Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

    Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

  • Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

    Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.

  • Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

    Because she refused to make a sandwich

  • What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

    A candle-nah-brah

  • What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

    Non-habit forming

  • Why are refugees bad at math?

    They refuse to integrate.

  • Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

    Because it was a mail dominated industry

  • What do you call a dress that refuses to learn?


  • Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

    He didn't want no scrubs