Remove Jokes

  • What's the difference between a mod and a banana?


  • What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

    Apple Jacks

  • What are you drinking, son?

    Soy milk. -Hola milk, soy tu padre. Edit : Removed the "es" that was bothering everyone

  • How do you make a witch scratch?

    Remove the w

  • What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

    He removed the appendix!

  • How do you make a Sea Lion?

    You remove an electron from a Seal!

  • Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation?


  • What happens if you violate Reddit's content policy?


  • What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

    They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold !

  • Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

    Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

  • How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

    Remove an electron.

  • What is a redditors worst nightmare?


  • Why are mods the worst?


  • Why did the vampire go to hospital?

    He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

  • Who wants to hear an appendectomy joke?


  • Why did the reddit mod cross the road?


  • What would be the worst possible thing to see on Reddit after losing your family in a car crash?

    removed (two children)

  • Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

    He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

  • What do you call a chicken with no neck?

    A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

  • Why does the French flag have Velcro?

    So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war.

  • How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

    No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

  • How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

    He farts.

  • Why is Reddit the best place for freedom of speech?


  • How do you disappoint a pack of redditors?


  • How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

  • What did the reddit admins say to the mods?

    This post was removed

  • What do you call a mod in r/News ?


  • Why did the joke on /r/jokes get removed?


  • How many /r/Jokes mods does it take to change a light bulb?


  • What's the best thing about Bruce Jenner?


  • Who's there ! Callas ! Callas who ?

    Callas should be removed by a podiatrist !

  • How do you milk a sheep and make a profit?

    Remove the audio jack

  • What's the difference between a 2016 Reddit post and a 2006 Reddit post?


  • What did the Italian say when 6 curses were removed from him?


  • What's the most overused punchline on reddit?


  • What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

    I need two hands to remove training wheels.

  • How to keep a reader in suspense?


  • How do you annoy people on Reddit?


  • Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

    He had a staff infection...

  • What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

    Remove the ring and your house is gone.

  • How do you make a Welsh person comfortable while playing Scrabble?

    Remove the vowels in his rack.

  • What did the /r/science mod say to the user?


  • How long does it take for mods to remove a post?


  • What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?


  • What is censorship?


  • What does Kim Jong Un do when he's angry?


  • How do you describe the life of a redditor?


  • How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

    One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

  • What did one Redditor say to another?


  • Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

    They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

  • What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment?


  • How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

    Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

  • What kind of subreddit dedicates itself to darkness and shadows?

    No it is not r/shadow removed

  • What do you get when you remove the center board from a wood bridge?

    A paradox.

  • How do introverts feel within society?


  • What happens when a sane person posts on a far right sub and a far left sub?


  • Why don't you remove those barriers to imports?

    It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.

  • How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

  • How does Hillary's email server feel?


  • What do Germans and acetone have in common?

    They are both good at removing the Polish!

  • How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool?

    You ask them to leave.

  • Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

    She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

  • What I reply with when someone asks, "What'd the comment say?


  • Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

    Because you remove them.

  • How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic?

    You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha

  • How many redditors does it take to answer an /r/AskScience question?


  • What happens when you violate Reddit's rules?


  • Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

    because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

  • How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

    You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

  • How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

  • How do you make 7 even?

    By removing the S

  • Why did FIFA have surgery?

    They had to remove their Blatter.

  • What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

    They both slowly remove clogs.

  • What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?


  • Why did the monster go into hospital?

    To have his ghoul-stones removed.

  • What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

    Remove only the top 1% please.

  • Why is Kim Jong Un a terrible leader?


  • What did the Reddit admins do for Christmas?


  • How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb?


  • How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair?

    A brazillion!

  • How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

    He farts.

  • What's the deal with /r/worldnews?


  • What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

    Remove the wheelchair

  • What does the Saudi executioner say every time he takes a head?


  • What starts with r and ends with d?


  • What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

    A: "Nobody's perfect!"

  • What is Superman when he removes his suit?


  • What's the difference between the Polish and polish?

    No one bats an eye if you use chemicals to remove polish, but if you use chemicals to remove the Polish, most of the world will turn against you

  • How do Buddhist monks send emails?

    They remove all attachments.

  • What is the best place for politicians?

    Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

  • What type of tree doesn't remove active torrents?

    A tree.

  • Why does OP never deliver?


  • Why was the Mercedes Benz on sales?

    Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...

  • Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

    So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

  • What does Hillary's emails and a racist post have in common?


  • What's the most outplayed joke in all of /r/jokes?


  • Why is Reddit different from Facebook?


  • What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

    Stark naked.